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Helping Your Child Accept Their Braces

Helping Your Child Accept Their Braces

Braces come at the most inconvenient time for most kids. Right at the onset of the most awkward phase of their preteen/teenage years. Trying to navigate who they are, pimples and 4th period’s science projects are enough without adding what a lot of kids perceive as the embarrassment and uncomfortable addition of a metal mouth.

Being aware of our kids discomfort and doing what we can to make it as painless as possible to both their confidence and their mouth is important. Here are some things I found really helpful for my daughter that I hope helps makes this a better experience for your family.

Educate

Like with most things helping our children understand the way of the world and why things need to be done a certain way can be a struggle at this age. They are so much smarter than us (at least that’s the common perception anyway) so having a professional really explain what needs to be done, why, and the long term benefits was crucial.

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Once she understood the numerous health benefits of braces, it helped her to not only understand why she needed them, but accept them as well. Not only do braces straighten and correctly space crooked teeth, but they:

  • Prevent gum disease
  • Prevent teeth from rotting and falling out
  • Correct bad bites and prevent jaw problems
  • Prevent abnormal tooth wear

Food Choices

One of the subtle complaints when we talked about getting braces was the loss of certain foods. Foods like Jerky, gum, caramels, nuts, popcorn, taffy are all off limits. Anything crunchy or chewy are bad news for braces. The crunchy foods can damage the braces, bending wires and popping brackets. The chewy foods like gum, caramel and taffy get lodged into the braces also causing bending and popping of brackets and ending up terribly stuck in the braces.

When the orthodontist explained that eating these things would probably end in prolonged treatment that gave her pause, it wasn’t until her and I sat down and made a game out of deciding what foods I would keep in the house to replace the ones she would have to stay away from. Apples were replaced with bananas, chips with string cheese, bagels with muffins, popcorn with cookies and so on. In the end the “haves” outweighed the “have nots” and she was happy, and that’s what mattered most.

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Appearance

This was the hardest for her. We have all heard of and seen in popular media the poor “geek” with braces that gets ragged on by their classmates. Being a teenager is hard enough and kids can be really brutal so giving them ammunition, like braces, is scary for most kids. There are some kids who are confident enough to own and dismiss any negative responses to their braces without a problem. I wanted to make sure for both of our emotional well beings that she was comfortable socially with them.

We sat and talked about whether the opinion of mean spirited people is important to her, whether she has any friends that have braces and if she sees them any differently and for a good laugh, looked up the celebrities who have had braces and what they looked like. It was a good way for us to connect, have a good laugh and help her to be more comfortable in her own skin after she got the braces.

Another factor that was a lot of fun for her were the colored bands. She was able to customize them to her liking making them feel a little more trendy which helped with the original self consciousness surrounding them.

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Pain

This was a big one. A lot people have an anxiety about the dentist in general. I am not sure why but my daughter has been afraid of the dentist from a very young age. So much so that in grade school when I would tell her she had a dentist appointment coming up she would immediately tear up and looked as if she had seen a ghost. It slowly got better as she got older and realized the dentist wasn’t there to intentionally cause her harm, but the potential of harm still made her squirm.

Treatment for braces does not hurt most of the time; it is just uncomfortable. After her orthodontists and I clarified the facts and let her know that it is nothing a little Tylenol won’t relieve and any discomfort only lasts a few hours you could visibly see the sigh of relief.

We scheduled her appointment at the end of the school day so that she didn’t have to go back to school with a sore mouth and she was able to spend the rest of the evening becoming accustomed to them before heading back to school to take on whatever was thrown at her with confidence and a smile.

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Featured photo credit: Chris Winter via flickr.com

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Published on January 30, 2019

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

5. Don’t keep score or track time.

At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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The Bottom Line

To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

Reference

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