Advertising
Advertising

Important Boundaries Empaths Should Set for Themselves in a Relationship

Important Boundaries Empaths Should Set for Themselves in a Relationship

Being an empath in a relationship can be extremely hard. Empaths have the innate ability to feel and perceive others. They’re like shock absorbers, having extremely permeable nervous systems and hyperactive reflexes.

Subconsciously, they mirror others desires, moods, and thoughts. Some people say empaths are highly sensitive, but it goes much deeper than emotions.

Set emotional boundaries.

    Via: drivingimprovedresults.com

    Being the empath is wonderful in the beginning of a relationship. You’re able to emotionally connect with people on a level that not many can achieve. You see, empaths pick up emotions as fast as a radio picks up a station.

    Advertising

    However, it becomes troublesome when the relationship goes on and you start feeling overwhelmed with your significant others emotions. While this is completely normal to go through, boundaries must be set in order to keep your relationship in good shape.

    As wonderful as it is to be connected with someone, it is also a pain. No one wants to deal with other peoples “stuff.” Everyone carries some baggage around, and as empaths, we pick up the baggage for them. You need to practice how to say “no” to those who come to you with their problems every day. Your mental health will zig zag across the room if you continue trying to fix others’ problems, and half the time, you won’t be able to fix them.

    Setting boundaries for yourself will help this. It might be hard at first, but please make sure you never take on more than you can handle. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself to set boundaries is sit at home and do absolutely nothing. Clear your mind, and ignore the world for a day. Yoga and meditation is a great way for empaths to clear their head.

    Advertising

    Don’t compromise yourself.

    empaths should
      Via: healing.about.com

      “You’re too emotional.” “Why do you freak out so easily?” “You need to calm down.” “I need space.” These are things that empaths hear daily, and while they might not bother you, they really hurt us. We can’t help that we’re emotional. In fact, in our minds, we’re not emotional enough. There is always going to be an abundance of emotions flowing through us, and whether you enjoy it or not, they’ll flow through you too. Chances are, the emotions we portray we pick up from you and your body language. We simply cannot help it.

      If you’re an empath and you hear these things daily, please understand that there is nothing you can do to fix this. Don’t start thinking to yourself “If I just cared less” or “If I wasn’t so emotional this wouldn’t happen.” You are unique. You are special, and it’s great that you’re so caring and empathetic.

      The partner you’re with doesn’t understand how your mind works, and that’s okay. What isn’t okay is when they say hurtful things and try to make you feel bad about yourself. Never compromise who/how you are for the sake of someone else.

      Advertising

      Leave if you need to.

        Via: davidwolfe.com

        If your relationship is taking a toll and bringing you down more than it’s lifting you up, it’s time to leave. If your partner makes you feel small and insignificant, it’s time to leave. Will it be easy? Absolutely not. It’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll do.

        The amount of emotions you’ll feel when you stand up for yourself will almost be too hard to handle. However, think of how amazing you’ll feel once you let go of the one person who is making you feel awful about yourself.

        A partner is supposed to make you feel special. They’re supposed to lift your spirits when you’re down, and soar with you when you’re at your best. When they’re unsure of their emotions, it’s hard to be sure of your own.

        Advertising

        If you don’t feel like you’re on top of the world with your partner, why are you with them? Remember, a relationship doesn’t have to be physical to be abusive. Mental abuse is just as bad, if not worse at times.

        If you’re unsure of whether or not you’re an empath, check out this test!

        Featured photo credit: Via: powerofpositivity.com via cdn.powerofpositivity.com

        More by this author

        Kayla Blydenburgh

        Freelance Copywriter, Ghostwriter, and Blogger

        Shocking! Expensive Skin Care Products May Not Always Be Better If You Don’t Get Enough Sleep, Your Gut Will Suffer A Lot, Here’s Why Alternatives For Conventional Pads And Tampons That Will Awe You Belly Fat Might Indicate Hormonal Imbalance 10 Home Remedies For Dry Skin That Will Leave Your Skin Feeling Silky And Smooth

        Trending in Communication

        1 11 Facts About Volunteering That Will Surely Impress You 2 I Hate My Wife – Why a Husband Would Resent His Spouse 3 How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them) 4 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 5 The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising
        Advertising

        Published on May 4, 2021

        How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

        How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

        They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

        In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

        How to Spot Fake People?

        When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

        Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

        1. Full of Themselves

        Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

        Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

        2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

        Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

        Advertising

        It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

        3. Zero Self-Reflection

        To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

        Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

        4. Unrealistic Perceptions

        Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

        A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

        5. Love Attention

        As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

        6. People Pleaser

        Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

        Advertising

        Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

        7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

        Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

        8. Crappy friend

        Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

        It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

        The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

        How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

        It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

        There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

        Advertising

        1. Boundaries

        Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

        2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

        Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

        3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

        If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

        4. Ask for Advice

        If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

        Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

        5. Dig Deeper

        Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

        Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

        Advertising

        6. Practice Self-Care!

        Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

        Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

        Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

        Final Thoughts

        Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

        We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

        More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

        Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

        Read Next