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8 Life Lessons To Learn From Remarkable Athletes

8 Life Lessons To Learn From Remarkable Athletes

Rio. For 16 days, the entire world agreed upon one thing – if you could not get to Rio, you had to get to a TV somewhere and watch the games, or at least your favorite sports and athletes. There are two things that the Olympics serve to remind us: First, people from countries that are enemies can come together, live together, compete with one another in peaceful ways, and go back home with a wider perspective. Second, there are people with such commitment to their goals, that they will sacrifice whatever is necessary to achieve them. So, what do remarkable athletes show and tell us about life? What lessons can we learn? Here are 8 from some of the most successful.

1. Your successes are not your own. Along the way, others have supported you. With your success, it is time to give back – support others on their paths to success.

Lionel Messi, captain of the Argentine National Football (Soccer) Team, is now considered the best soccer player ever to take the field. Life was not always so good for Messi. He was born to a steelworker father who could not afford the $900 treatment for hormone growth deficiency. Fortunately, the kid had talent and the treatment was ultimately paid for by a youth football league. Messi knows that his ability to continue in soccer– aside from having tremendous talent– came from somebody who arrived at his financial aid when it was needed the most. Now, he gives back. He is a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, active in the support of HIV and AIDS research to help families in Haiti, and has committed $8 million from his team for all of these efforts.

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2. Fear is destructive, and fear of failure condemns you to failure.

Michael Jordan did not make the team when he first tried out for basketball in high school. In his own words, he was embarrassed by the team list that was posted for days. Fear of being embarrassed again could have held a grip on him. Instead however, he overcame that by simply working harder. He eventually made the team, and when he began to play pro ball, his team lost the first three seasons. Again, he could have let embarrassment fuel fear, but of course, it did not. Today, Jordan says, “I know fear is an obstacle to some people, but it is just an illusion to me.”

3. Talent is a gift. But without hard work, it is meaningless.

Eugenie Bouchard is one of the youngest internationally ranked tennis players, and her story is a lesson for anyone aspiring to take his/her raw talent and turn it into success. Her interest in tennis was not initially strongly supported by her family. In fact, no one in her family aspired to any athletic achievements. All on her own, she began to play tennis at the age of 5, and the talent was obvious. By the age of 12, her parents were on board, and she and her mother moved to Florida so she could be coached by one of the all-time greats. Her training was grueling, and she gave up the life that other “normal” teenage girls usually have, to do it all. Today, she is worth about $2 million with a long career still ahead of her.

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4. Don’t measure your success by comparing it to that of others. When you are disappointed, you lose your joy and motivation

Tiger Woods. He had only one golfing goal since childhood – beat the record of Jack Nicklaus’s 18 major tournament wins. This was what motivated him. What he hadn’t counted on, were injuries that kept him off the circuit and a personal life that was a huge distractor. As he realized that he would not beat the Nicklaus record, he lost his joy for the game. And as he lost that joy, he lost his motivation, and his performance continued to decline.

5. Believe in yourself and become your biggest fan, not by being a braggart, but by loving who you are.

Serena Williams grew up in Compton, California, playing tennis on public courts littered with glass and practicing within hearing distance of gunshots. From that, she moved to the largest tennis stages of the world to be ranked #1. Aside from Arthur Ash, tennis has always been a very “white” sport, and when the Williams sisters first hit the professional scene, they were not graciously welcomed. As they began to win, many in the tennis world saw them as interlopers. The wins continued, but rather than developing an attitude, the sisters continued to be who they are; very comfortable. Lo and behold, the tennis world now loves them too.

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6. Be willing to reconcile with those whom you have fought if there is a greater good to be achieved.

When Lebron James announced that he was leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers to join the Miami Heat, owner Dan Gilbert wrote a scathing public letter in which he called James a traitor to the hometown that had loved him, among other things. James grew up in Cleveland and always loved his town. Gilbert knew that he needed James back on the team. Gilbert flew to Florida and sat down with James, apologized, they reconciled, and James returned to Cleveland. The ensuing championships are history. Cleveland has not always had a great reputation, but the Cavaliers have done their part to change that.

7. “It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.”

This is a huge lesson from Muhammad Ali, boxer and philosopher who was so beloved. The lesson is to stop every once in awhile, and remove the small things that are slowing you down – some bad habits, some resentments, some guilt from the past. All of these things should be addressed and resolved. When you do it, you can move forward without the baggage and tackle those mountains.

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8. Sometimes you need to be the bigger person and apologize, even if it’s not required, in order to keep the peace.

The Olympics has brought us amazing athletic prowess and some wonderful events. Athletes are bringing home medals to countries that have never won any before. There have been comebacks and records broken. Michael Phelps, for example, has now won more gold medals than any other Olympian, a nice finale for his career. There have also been a couple of controversies. When the U.S. women’s gymnastics team was presented with their gold medals, as is tradition, the National Anthem was played. Gabby Douglass did not put her hand over her heart, as is custom. Immediately, Twitter lit up with posters condemning her for this “lack of respect” for her country. At times, it was vicious and certainly bullying. Fans came to her rescue with their own Tweets about all of her hard work to represent her country proudly, and about the fact that many do not put their hands on their hearts during the playing of the anthem. Ultimately, Gabby felt the need to post a Tweet explaining that this was not something she was taught to do but rather, to stand erect in silence instead. She then re-affirmed her patriotism and apologized if she had offended anyone. She was the bigger person, and Twitter has rewarded her for it now.

Athletes are a special breed. They represent courage, commitment, belief in selves, and amazing sacrifices. Yet all of us have the potential to do remarkable things (small or large) on a daily basis!

Featured photo credit: Javelin Thrower in Action at a Competition via flickr.com

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Published on September 23, 2020

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

I don’t know about you, but many times when I hear the word negotiate I think of lawyers working out a business deal or having to do battle with a car salesman to try to get a lower price. Since I am in recruiting, the term “negotiation” comes up when someone is attempting to get a higher compensation package.

If we think about it, we tend to negotiate almost every day in a wide variety of things we do. Getting a handle on the important negotiation skills can be incredibly beneficial in many parts of our lives. Let’s take a look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

What is Negotiation?

First, let’s take a look at what negotiation is. Put simply, negotiation is a method by which people settle their differences. It is a process in which compromise or agreement can be reached without argument or dispute.

Anytime two people or sides disagree on something, they are almost always looking for the best possible outcome for their side. This could be from an individual’s perspective or someone representing an organization.

In reality, it’s rare that one side gets everything they want and the other side gets nothing that they are seeking. Seeking to reach a common ground of sorts where both sides feel like they are getting most of what they want is the key to being successful and maintaining the relationship.

Places We Negotiate

I’ve mentioned that we negotiate in just about all phases of our life. For those of you who are shaking your head no, I invite you to think about the following:

1. Work/Business

This one is the most obvious and it’s what naturally comes to mind when we think of the word “negotiate”.

When you first started at your current job, you might have asked for a higher salary. It could be that you delivered a huge new client to your company and used this as leverage in your most recent evaluation for more compensation. If you work with vendors (and just about every company does), maybe you worked them to a lower price or better contract terms.

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In recruiting, I negotiate with candidates and hiring managers all the time to land the best talent I can find. It’s very common to accept additional work with the (sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken) agreement that it will benefit your career in the future.

Recently, I took over a project that was my boss was working on so that I would be able to attend a conference later in the year. And so it goes, we do this all day long at work.

2. Personal

I don’t know about you, but I negotiate with my spouse all the time. I’ll cook dinner with the understanding that she does the dishes. Who wants to mow the lawn and who wants to vacuum and dust the house?

I think we should save 10% for retirement, but she thinks 5% is plenty. Therefore, we save 8%. And don’t even get me started with my kids. My older daughter can borrow my car as soon as she finishes her chores. My younger daughter can go hang out with her friends when her homework is done.

Then, there are all those interactions in our personal lives outside our homes. The carpenter wants to charge me $12,000 to build a new deck. I think $10,000 is plenty so we agree on $11,000. I ask my neighbor if I can borrow his snowblower in the winter if I invite him over the next time I grill steak. And so on.

3. Ourselves

You didn’t expect this one, did you? We negotiate with ourselves all day long.

I’ll make sure I don’t skip my workout tomorrow since I’m going to have that extra piece of pizza. My spouse has been quiet the last few days, is it worth me asking her about, or should I leave it alone? I think the car place charged me for some repairs that weren’t needed, should I say something or just let it go? I know my friend has been having some personal challenges, should I check in with him? We’ve been friends for a long time, I’m sure he’d come to me if he needed help. I’ve got the #4 pick in this year’s Fantasy Football draft, should I choose a running back or a wide receiver?

Think about that non-stop voice inside your head. It always seems to be chattering away about something and many times, it’s us negotiating with ourselves. I’ll finish up that report that the boss needs before I turn on the football game.

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Why Negotiation Skills Are So Important

Put simply, negotiation skills are important because we all interact with other people, and not only other people but other organizations and groups of people as well.

We all rarely want the same thing or outcome. Most of the time a vendor is looking at getting you to pay a higher price for something than you want to spend. Therefore, it’s important to negotiate to some middle ground that works well for both sides.

My wife and I disagree on how much to save for retirement. If we weren’t married it wouldn’t be an issue. We’d each contribute how much we wanted to on our retirement funds. We choose to be married, so we have to come to some agreement that we both feel comfortable with. We have to compromise. Therefore, we have to negotiate.

If we each lived on a planet by ourselves, we would be free to do just about anything we wanted to. We wouldn’t have to compromise with anyone because we wouldn’t interact with anyone. We would make every choice unilaterally the way we wanted to.

As we all know, this isn’t how things are. We are constantly interacting with other people and organizations, each one with their own agenda’s, viewpoints, and opinions. Therefore, we have to be able to work together.

6 Negotiation Skills to Master

Having strong negotiation skills helps us create win-win situations with others, allowing us to get most of what we want in conjunction with others around us.

Now, let’s look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

1. Preparation

Preparation is a key place to start with when getting ready to negotiate. Being prepared means having a clear vision of what you want and how you’d go about achieving it. It means knowing what the end goal looks like and also what you are willing to give to get it.

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It also means knowing who you are negotiating with and what areas they might be willing to compromise on. You should also know what your “bottom line” is. By “bottom line” I mean what is the most you are willing to give up to get what you want.

For instance, several years ago, I decided it was time to get a newer car. I say newer because I wanted a “new to me” car, not a brand new car. I did my research and figured out what type of car I wanted. I decided on what must-have items on the car I wanted, the highest amount of miles that would already be on it, the colors I was willing to get it in, and the highest amount of money I was willing to pay.

After visiting numerous car dealerships I was able to negotiate buying a car. I knew what I was willing to give up (amount of money) and what I was willing to accept, things like the color, amount of miles, etc. I came prepared. This is critical.

2. Clear Communication

The next key skill you need to be an effective negotiator is clear communication. You have to be able to clearly articulate what you want to the other party. This means both clear verbal and written communication.

If you can’t clearly tell the other person what you want, how do you expect to get it? Have you ever worked through something with a vendor or someone else only to learn of a surprise right at the end that wasn’t talked about before? This is not what you would call clear communication. It’s essential to be able to share a coherent and logical vision with the person you are working with.

3. Active Listening

Let’s do a quick review of active listening. This is when you are completely focused on the speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond appropriately. This is a necessary ingredient to be able to negotiate successfully. You must be able to fully focus on the other person’s wants to completely understand them.

If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you may miss some major points or details. This leads to frustration down the road on both sides. Ensure you are employing your active listening skills when in arbitration mode.

4. Teamwork and Collaboration

To be able to get to a place of common ground and a win-win scenario, you have to have a sense of teamwork and collaboration.

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If you are only thinking about yourself and what you want without giving much care to what the other person is wanting, you are bound to wind up without a solution. The other person may get frustrated and give up if they see you are unwilling to meet them halfway or care little for what they want.

When you collaborate, you are working together to help each other get what is most important to you. The other upside to negotiating with a sense of teamwork and collaboration is that it helps create a sense of trust, which, in turn, helps provide positive energy for working to a successful conclusion.

5. Problem Solving

Problem-solving is another key negotiation skill. When you are working with the other person to get the deal done many times you’ll face new challenges along the way.

Maybe you want a new vendor to provide training on the software they are selling you but they say it’s going to cost an additional $20,000 to provide this service. If you don’t have the additional $20,000 in the budget to spend on the software but you feel the training is critical, how are you going to solve that problem?

From what I’ve seen, most vendors aren’t willing to provide additional services without getting paid for them. This is where problem-solving skills will help continue the discussions. You might suggest to the vendor that your company will also be looking to replace their financial software next year, and you’d be happy to ensure they get one of the first seats at the table when the time comes if they could perhaps lower the pricing on their training.

There’s a solution to most challenges, but it takes problem-solving skills to work through them effectively.

6. Decision-Making Ability

Finally, having strong decision-making ability will help you seal the deal when you get to a place where everyone feels like they are getting what works for them. Each step of the way you can cross off the list when you get what you are looking for and decide to move onto the next item. Then, once you have all of your must-have boxes checked and the other side feels good about things, it’s time to shake hands and sign on the dotted line. Powerful decision-making ability will help you get to the finish line together.

Conclusion

There you have it, 6 effective negotiation skills to master to lead a more fulfilling life. Once we realize that we negotiate in one form or another almost every day in every phase of our lives, we realize how critical a skill it is.

Possessing strong negotiation skills will help you in nearly every one of your relationships at both the workplace and in your personal life. If you feel your arbitration tools could use some sharpening, try some of the 6 effective negotiation skills to master that we’ve talked about.

More Tips to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

Featured photo credit: Windows via unsplash.com

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