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8 Life Lessons To Learn From Remarkable Athletes

8 Life Lessons To Learn From Remarkable Athletes

Rio. For 16 days, the entire world agreed upon one thing – if you could not get to Rio, you had to get to a TV somewhere and watch the games, or at least your favorite sports and athletes. There are two things that the Olympics serve to remind us: First, people from countries that are enemies can come together, live together, compete with one another in peaceful ways, and go back home with a wider perspective. Second, there are people with such commitment to their goals, that they will sacrifice whatever is necessary to achieve them. So, what do remarkable athletes show and tell us about life? What lessons can we learn? Here are 8 from some of the most successful.

1. Your successes are not your own. Along the way, others have supported you. With your success, it is time to give back – support others on their paths to success.

Lionel Messi, captain of the Argentine National Football (Soccer) Team, is now considered the best soccer player ever to take the field. Life was not always so good for Messi. He was born to a steelworker father who could not afford the $900 treatment for hormone growth deficiency. Fortunately, the kid had talent and the treatment was ultimately paid for by a youth football league. Messi knows that his ability to continue in soccer– aside from having tremendous talent– came from somebody who arrived at his financial aid when it was needed the most. Now, he gives back. He is a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, active in the support of HIV and AIDS research to help families in Haiti, and has committed $8 million from his team for all of these efforts.

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2. Fear is destructive, and fear of failure condemns you to failure.

Michael Jordan did not make the team when he first tried out for basketball in high school. In his own words, he was embarrassed by the team list that was posted for days. Fear of being embarrassed again could have held a grip on him. Instead however, he overcame that by simply working harder. He eventually made the team, and when he began to play pro ball, his team lost the first three seasons. Again, he could have let embarrassment fuel fear, but of course, it did not. Today, Jordan says, “I know fear is an obstacle to some people, but it is just an illusion to me.”

3. Talent is a gift. But without hard work, it is meaningless.

Eugenie Bouchard is one of the youngest internationally ranked tennis players, and her story is a lesson for anyone aspiring to take his/her raw talent and turn it into success. Her interest in tennis was not initially strongly supported by her family. In fact, no one in her family aspired to any athletic achievements. All on her own, she began to play tennis at the age of 5, and the talent was obvious. By the age of 12, her parents were on board, and she and her mother moved to Florida so she could be coached by one of the all-time greats. Her training was grueling, and she gave up the life that other “normal” teenage girls usually have, to do it all. Today, she is worth about $2 million with a long career still ahead of her.

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4. Don’t measure your success by comparing it to that of others. When you are disappointed, you lose your joy and motivation

Tiger Woods. He had only one golfing goal since childhood – beat the record of Jack Nicklaus’s 18 major tournament wins. This was what motivated him. What he hadn’t counted on, were injuries that kept him off the circuit and a personal life that was a huge distractor. As he realized that he would not beat the Nicklaus record, he lost his joy for the game. And as he lost that joy, he lost his motivation, and his performance continued to decline.

5. Believe in yourself and become your biggest fan, not by being a braggart, but by loving who you are.

Serena Williams grew up in Compton, California, playing tennis on public courts littered with glass and practicing within hearing distance of gunshots. From that, she moved to the largest tennis stages of the world to be ranked #1. Aside from Arthur Ash, tennis has always been a very “white” sport, and when the Williams sisters first hit the professional scene, they were not graciously welcomed. As they began to win, many in the tennis world saw them as interlopers. The wins continued, but rather than developing an attitude, the sisters continued to be who they are; very comfortable. Lo and behold, the tennis world now loves them too.

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6. Be willing to reconcile with those whom you have fought if there is a greater good to be achieved.

When Lebron James announced that he was leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers to join the Miami Heat, owner Dan Gilbert wrote a scathing public letter in which he called James a traitor to the hometown that had loved him, among other things. James grew up in Cleveland and always loved his town. Gilbert knew that he needed James back on the team. Gilbert flew to Florida and sat down with James, apologized, they reconciled, and James returned to Cleveland. The ensuing championships are history. Cleveland has not always had a great reputation, but the Cavaliers have done their part to change that.

7. “It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.”

This is a huge lesson from Muhammad Ali, boxer and philosopher who was so beloved. The lesson is to stop every once in awhile, and remove the small things that are slowing you down – some bad habits, some resentments, some guilt from the past. All of these things should be addressed and resolved. When you do it, you can move forward without the baggage and tackle those mountains.

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8. Sometimes you need to be the bigger person and apologize, even if it’s not required, in order to keep the peace.

The Olympics has brought us amazing athletic prowess and some wonderful events. Athletes are bringing home medals to countries that have never won any before. There have been comebacks and records broken. Michael Phelps, for example, has now won more gold medals than any other Olympian, a nice finale for his career. There have also been a couple of controversies. When the U.S. women’s gymnastics team was presented with their gold medals, as is tradition, the National Anthem was played. Gabby Douglass did not put her hand over her heart, as is custom. Immediately, Twitter lit up with posters condemning her for this “lack of respect” for her country. At times, it was vicious and certainly bullying. Fans came to her rescue with their own Tweets about all of her hard work to represent her country proudly, and about the fact that many do not put their hands on their hearts during the playing of the anthem. Ultimately, Gabby felt the need to post a Tweet explaining that this was not something she was taught to do but rather, to stand erect in silence instead. She then re-affirmed her patriotism and apologized if she had offended anyone. She was the bigger person, and Twitter has rewarded her for it now.

Athletes are a special breed. They represent courage, commitment, belief in selves, and amazing sacrifices. Yet all of us have the potential to do remarkable things (small or large) on a daily basis!

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Featured photo credit: Javelin Thrower in Action at a Competition via flickr.com

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Published on May 18, 2021

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

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Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

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Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

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Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

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This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

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Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

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Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

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