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What Socially Intelligent People Would Never Do

What Socially Intelligent People Would Never Do

We’ve all heard the sayings about what it means to know your power, what it means to feel truly confident, and to know yourself well. But do we understand them as deeply as we think we do?

True social intelligence comes from self-confidence, and understanding your self to a point where you are comfortably interacting in society at a mature level. There are certain things socially intelligent people do well that stand a mile apart from annoying habits of those who do not have such social savvy. Read ahead and see if you recognise any of these traits of socially intelligent people.

They never interrupt

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    People who are secure within themselves are good listeners. They do not feel the need to talk over another person, purely because they feel comfortable and calm waiting for their turn. There is no anxiety to forcibly get the point across – they are confident in what they are about to say, and know that it doesn’t need to be said straight away in order to have worth.

    They don’t presuppose what others are trying to say

    Socially intelligent people will ask questions if they need a greater understanding of a topic. They don’t cut straight in with what they think others are talking about, they will give other speakers time to say what they mean, without thinking their supposed ideas are instantly correct. 

    They won’t put the focus on themselves all the time

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      They understand that all people have equal rights to attention and focus, and they don’t feel the need to be at the centre of things at all times. They have high enough self esteem that they do not need to be placated continuously, rather they are comfortable with equal opportunity.

      They won’t judge others in order to prove themselves right

      A good sign of emotional maturity is to understand our differences. Judging another person in order to further your own personal ideas about something is not socially intelligent. But having an attitude of acceptance and openness is. 

      They won’t try hard to convince others, they just say what they think politely

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        This is a very good indicator that a person is socially savvy and has trust and faith in themselves. They will not feel the need to convince people of their opinions or status, or just of their general person. They will be confident enough in themselves to know that their truth is their truth – and that what others think is, politely, none of their business.

        They won’t invalidate people’s feelings, instead they show understanding

        Social intelligence involves understanding, patience and respect. A person’s feelings are a person’s feelings. They stem from somewhere and they arise, and are what they are. How a person reacts to those feelings is another thing entirely, but a savvy person will not disregard someone’s feelings just because it might suit them to do so.

        They know that understanding is a mature and healthy way to approach a situation in order to have a productive and peaceful outcome. They don’t need to make others feel less about themselves in order to feel more important than they are – they already know they are important.  

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        They aren’t insecure about having a voice, they’re calm and would listen patiently

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          They know that assertiveness is actually the best way to deal with things, not anger, or passive aggression disguised as assertiveness. Socially intelligent people are secure and confident about what they want to say, but also knowledgeable about how to use their voice. They know how to listen and engage and have a conversation confidently and with purpose, rather than acting childishly, and only with emotion.

          Featured photo credit: Luke Porter via unsplash.com

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          Last Updated on June 23, 2019

          20 Things People Regret the Most Before They Die

          20 Things People Regret the Most Before They Die

          Close your eyes and imagine that you’re at your own funeral—a bit morbid I know, but there’s a reason for it. Now think about what you’d like people to say about you. What kind of a life do you want to lead? People die with all kinds of regrets. Don’t be one of them.

          1. I wish I’d cared less about what other people think.

          It’s only when you realise how little other people are really thinking of you (in a negative sense) that you realise how much time you spent caring and wasting energy worrying about this.

          2. I wish I had accomplished more.

          You don’t have to have won an Oscar, built up a business or run a marathon, but having small personal accomplishments is important.

          3. I wish I had told __ how I truly felt.

          Even if the “one” doesn’t exist, telling someone how you truly feel will always save you from that gut wrenching”but what if…” feeling that could linger for life if you stay quiet.

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          4. I wish I had stood up for myself more.

          Sometimes, it’s too easy to think that if you go all out to please everyone you’ll be liked more or your partner won’t run off with anyone else. I think age probably teaches us to be nice but not at the expense of our own happiness.

          5. I wish I had followed my passion in life.

          It’s so easy to be seduced by a stable salary, a solid routine and a comfortable life, but at what expense?

          6. I wish our last conversation hadn’t been an argument.

          Life is short, and you never really know when the last time you speak to someone you love will be. It’s these moments that really stay clear in peoples’ minds.

          7. I wish I had let my children grow up to be who they wanted to be.

          The realisation that love, compassion and empathy are so much more important than clashes in values or belief systems can hit home hard.

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          8. I wish I had lived more in the moment.

          Watching children grow up makes you realise how short-lived and precious time really is, and as we age, many of us live less and less in the present.

          9. I wish I had worked less.

          There’s always a desire to have loosened up a bit more with this one and the realisation that financial success or career accomplishment doesn’t necessarily equal a fulfilled life.

          10. I wish I had traveled more.

          It can be done at any age, with kids or not but many talk themselves out of it for all kinds of reasons such as lack of money, mortgage, children, etc. When there’s a regret, you know it could have been possible at some stage.

          11. I wish I had trusted my gut rather than listening to everyone else.

          Making your own decisions and feeling confident in the decisions you make gives us fulfilment and joy from life. Going against your gut only breeds resentment and bitterness.

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          12. I wish I’d taken better care of myself.

          Premature health problems or ageing always makes you wonder if you’d eaten healthier, exercised more and been less stressed, would you be where you are today?

          13. I wish I’d taken more risks.

          Everyone has their own idea of what’s risky, but you know when you’re living too much in your comfort zone. In hindsight, some people feel they missed out on a lot of adventure life has to offer.

          14. I wish I’d had more time.

          Many people say time speeds up as we age. The six weeks of summer holidays we had as kids certainly seemed to last a lifetime. If time speeds up, then it’s even more important to make the most of every moment.

          15. I wish I hadn’t worried so much.

          If you’ve ever kept a diary and looked back, you’ll probably wonder why you ever got so worked up over X.

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          16. I wish I’d appreciated ___ more.

          The consequences of taking people for granted are always hard to deal with.

          17. I wish I’d spent more time with my family.

          Some people get caught up with work, move to other parts of the world, grow old with grudges against family members only to realise their priorities were in the wrong place.

          18. I wish I hadn’t taken myself so seriously.

          Life is just more fun when you can laugh at yourself.

          19. I wish I’d done more for other people.

          Doing things for others just makes life more meaningful.

          20. I wish I could have felt happier.

          The realisation that happiness is a state of mind that you can control sometimes doesn’t occur to people until it’s too late.

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