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What Socially Intelligent People Would Never Do

What Socially Intelligent People Would Never Do

We’ve all heard the sayings about what it means to know your power, what it means to feel truly confident, and to know yourself well. But do we understand them as deeply as we think we do?

True social intelligence comes from self-confidence, and understanding your self to a point where you are comfortably interacting in society at a mature level. There are certain things socially intelligent people do well that stand a mile apart from annoying habits of those who do not have such social savvy. Read ahead and see if you recognise any of these traits of socially intelligent people.

They never interrupt

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    People who are secure within themselves are good listeners. They do not feel the need to talk over another person, purely because they feel comfortable and calm waiting for their turn. There is no anxiety to forcibly get the point across – they are confident in what they are about to say, and know that it doesn’t need to be said straight away in order to have worth.

    They don’t presuppose what others are trying to say

    Socially intelligent people will ask questions if they need a greater understanding of a topic. They don’t cut straight in with what they think others are talking about, they will give other speakers time to say what they mean, without thinking their supposed ideas are instantly correct. 

    They won’t put the focus on themselves all the time

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      They understand that all people have equal rights to attention and focus, and they don’t feel the need to be at the centre of things at all times. They have high enough self esteem that they do not need to be placated continuously, rather they are comfortable with equal opportunity.

      They won’t judge others in order to prove themselves right

      A good sign of emotional maturity is to understand our differences. Judging another person in order to further your own personal ideas about something is not socially intelligent. But having an attitude of acceptance and openness is. 

      They won’t try hard to convince others, they just say what they think politely

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        This is a very good indicator that a person is socially savvy and has trust and faith in themselves. They will not feel the need to convince people of their opinions or status, or just of their general person. They will be confident enough in themselves to know that their truth is their truth – and that what others think is, politely, none of their business.

        They won’t invalidate people’s feelings, instead they show understanding

        Social intelligence involves understanding, patience and respect. A person’s feelings are a person’s feelings. They stem from somewhere and they arise, and are what they are. How a person reacts to those feelings is another thing entirely, but a savvy person will not disregard someone’s feelings just because it might suit them to do so.

        They know that understanding is a mature and healthy way to approach a situation in order to have a productive and peaceful outcome. They don’t need to make others feel less about themselves in order to feel more important than they are – they already know they are important.  

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        They aren’t insecure about having a voice, they’re calm and would listen patiently

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          They know that assertiveness is actually the best way to deal with things, not anger, or passive aggression disguised as assertiveness. Socially intelligent people are secure and confident about what they want to say, but also knowledgeable about how to use their voice. They know how to listen and engage and have a conversation confidently and with purpose, rather than acting childishly, and only with emotion.

          Featured photo credit: Luke Porter via unsplash.com

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          Last Updated on February 13, 2019

          10 Things Happy People Do Differently

          10 Things Happy People Do Differently

          Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again.

          Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness, then check out these 10 things happy people do differently.

          Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

          1. Happy people find balance in their lives.

          Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

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          2. Happy people abide by the golden rule.

          You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

          3. Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

          One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

          4. Happy people take responsibility for their actions.

          Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:

          “There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

          5. Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.

          happiness surrounding

            One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

            6. Happy people are honest with themselves and others.

            People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

            7. Happy people show signs of happiness.

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            smile

              This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

              8. Happy people are passionate.

              Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

              9. Happy people see challenges as opportunities.

              Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

              10. Happy people live in the present.

              While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

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              There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.

              So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.

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