We’ve all heard the sayings about what it means to know your power, what it means to feel truly confident, and to know yourself well. But do we understand them as deeply as we think we do?
True social intelligence comes from self-confidence, and understanding your self to a point where you are comfortably interacting in society at a mature level. There are certain things socially intelligent people do well that stand a mile apart from annoying habits of those who do not have such social savvy. Read ahead and see if you recognise any of these traits of socially intelligent people.
They never interrupt
People who are secure within themselves are good listeners. They do not feel the need to talk over another person, purely because they feel comfortable and calm waiting for their turn. There is no anxiety to forcibly get the point across – they are confident in what they are about to say, and know that it doesn’t need to be said straight away in order to have worth.
They don’t presuppose what others are trying to say
Socially intelligent people will ask questions if they need a greater understanding of a topic. They don’t cut straight in with what they think others are talking about, they will give other speakers time to say what they mean, without thinking their supposed ideas are instantly correct.
They won’t put the focus on themselves all the time
They understand that all people have equal rights to attention and focus, and they don’t feel the need to be at the centre of things at all times. They have high enough self esteem that they do not need to be placated continuously, rather they are comfortable with equal opportunity.
They won’t judge others in order to prove themselves right
A good sign of emotional maturity is to understand our differences. Judging another person in order to further your own personal ideas about something is not socially intelligent. But having an attitude of acceptance and openness is.
They won’t try hard to convince others, they just say what they think politely
This is a very good indicator that a person is socially savvy and has trust and faith in themselves. They will not feel the need to convince people of their opinions or status, or just of their general person. They will be confident enough in themselves to know that their truth is their truth – and that what others think is, politely, none of their business.
They won’t invalidate people’s feelings, instead they show understanding
Social intelligence involves understanding, patience and respect. A person’s feelings are a person’s feelings. They stem from somewhere and they arise, and are what they are. How a person reacts to those feelings is another thing entirely, but a savvy person will not disregard someone’s feelings just because it might suit them to do so.
They know that understanding is a mature and healthy way to approach a situation in order to have a productive and peaceful outcome. They don’t need to make others feel less about themselves in order to feel more important than they are – they already know they are important.
They aren’t insecure about having a voice, they’re calm and would listen patiently
They know that assertiveness is actually the best way to deal with things, not anger, or passive aggression disguised as assertiveness. Socially intelligent people are secure and confident about what they want to say, but also knowledgeable about how to use their voice. They know how to listen and engage and have a conversation confidently and with purpose, rather than acting childishly, and only with emotion.
Featured photo credit: Luke Porter via unsplash.com