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What Socially Intelligent People Would Never Do

What Socially Intelligent People Would Never Do

We’ve all heard the sayings about what it means to know your power, what it means to feel truly confident, and to know yourself well. But do we understand them as deeply as we think we do?

True social intelligence comes from self-confidence, and understanding your self to a point where you are comfortably interacting in society at a mature level. There are certain things socially intelligent people do well that stand a mile apart from annoying habits of those who do not have such social savvy. Read ahead and see if you recognise any of these traits of socially intelligent people.

They never interrupt

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    People who are secure within themselves are good listeners. They do not feel the need to talk over another person, purely because they feel comfortable and calm waiting for their turn. There is no anxiety to forcibly get the point across – they are confident in what they are about to say, and know that it doesn’t need to be said straight away in order to have worth.

    They don’t presuppose what others are trying to say

    Socially intelligent people will ask questions if they need a greater understanding of a topic. They don’t cut straight in with what they think others are talking about, they will give other speakers time to say what they mean, without thinking their supposed ideas are instantly correct. 

    They won’t put the focus on themselves all the time

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      They understand that all people have equal rights to attention and focus, and they don’t feel the need to be at the centre of things at all times. They have high enough self esteem that they do not need to be placated continuously, rather they are comfortable with equal opportunity.

      They won’t judge others in order to prove themselves right

      A good sign of emotional maturity is to understand our differences. Judging another person in order to further your own personal ideas about something is not socially intelligent. But having an attitude of acceptance and openness is. 

      They won’t try hard to convince others, they just say what they think politely

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        This is a very good indicator that a person is socially savvy and has trust and faith in themselves. They will not feel the need to convince people of their opinions or status, or just of their general person. They will be confident enough in themselves to know that their truth is their truth – and that what others think is, politely, none of their business.

        They won’t invalidate people’s feelings, instead they show understanding

        Social intelligence involves understanding, patience and respect. A person’s feelings are a person’s feelings. They stem from somewhere and they arise, and are what they are. How a person reacts to those feelings is another thing entirely, but a savvy person will not disregard someone’s feelings just because it might suit them to do so.

        They know that understanding is a mature and healthy way to approach a situation in order to have a productive and peaceful outcome. They don’t need to make others feel less about themselves in order to feel more important than they are – they already know they are important.  

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        They aren’t insecure about having a voice, they’re calm and would listen patiently

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          They know that assertiveness is actually the best way to deal with things, not anger, or passive aggression disguised as assertiveness. Socially intelligent people are secure and confident about what they want to say, but also knowledgeable about how to use their voice. They know how to listen and engage and have a conversation confidently and with purpose, rather than acting childishly, and only with emotion.

          Featured photo credit: Luke Porter via unsplash.com

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          Last Updated on August 16, 2018

          10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

          10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

          The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

          In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

          Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

          1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

          What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

          Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

          2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

          Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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          How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

          Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

          Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

          3. Get comfortable with discomfort

          One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

          Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

          4. See failure as a teacher

          Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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          Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

          Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

          10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

          5. Take baby steps

          Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

          Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

          Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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          The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

          6. Hang out with risk takers

          There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

          Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

          7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

          Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

          Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

          8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

          What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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          9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

          Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

          If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

          10. Focus on the fun

          Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

          Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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