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How To Get Yourself Highly Motivated All the Time By Using This Golden Rule

How To Get Yourself Highly Motivated All the Time By Using This Golden Rule

While we all have goals and aspirations in life, conceiving these is far easier than executing them. In this respect, learning how to motivate yourself is central to the accomplishment of goals, while it is also one of the hardest things that you can ever do in life.

The main reason for this is that anything truly worth accomplishing is difficult to achieve, meaning that you are likely to endure hardship and setbacks along the way. Let’s say that you start a specific diet, for example, and showcase incredible enthusiasm in the first few weeks. As the excitement begins to fade and the realities of a stringent diet take hold, however, it is easy to lose motivation and lose sight of your long-term goal.

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The Goldilocks rule: What is it and how does it manifest itself?

While hardship and setbacks can impact on your level of motivation, so too can the nature of the goal itself. This is something that can often be overlooked when you learn how to motivate yourself, despite the fact that studies have consistently found that the establishing goals of manageable difficulty is central to remaining focused. This is commonly referred to as the ‘Goldilocks Rule’, which stipulates that our ability to stay motivated will falter when pursuing goals that are outside of an optimal range of difficulty.

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To explain this further, let’s continue with the example of starting a diet. Within a short space of time, you may find yourself losing weight and approaching the initial goal that you set. As the pace of your progress slows and the difficulty eases, you are likely to find your motivation wane accordingly. Similarly, those who have a huge amount of weight to lose to achieve their goal will struggle to remain motivated from the outset, as the scale of their task makes it seemingly impossible.

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The Goldilocks rule applies to the pursuit of every goal, even in instances where you must also consult your values and morals. We have seen a huge rise in the number of academic essay writing tools, for example, which allow students to outsource their dissertations and coursework requirements. The popularisation of essay writing services can be largely attributed to the principle of the Goldilocks rule, as students tend to outsource simple pieces that they deem non-challenging or complex and crucial posts that are exceptionally difficult to complete within the given time-frame.

Apply the Goldilocks rule and learn how to motivate yourself

As we can see, the Goldilocks rule establishes an optimal range of difficulty that distinguishes positive and attainable goals. This taps into the concept that humans are at their most motivated when they undertake tasks that are on the very edge of their ability, as they seek a balance between challenging themselves and making progress along their specific course. Understanding this is the first and arguably most important part of learning how to motivate yourself and successfully pursuing goals, as otherwise you will constantly find yourself either lacking in mental stimulation or overwhelmed by the task in hand.

Following the Goldilocks Rule also enables you to unlock another motivational key, which lies in the measurement of your progress and development as an individuals. It is through the accomplishment of manageable challenges that we are able to achieve happiness, for example, as they provide us with an opportunity to make progress in life and experience the diverse benefits of this. If we are able to measure our success and personal development on a regular basis, we can achieve a positive mental flow that enables us to embrace challenges, drive consistent performance and achieve our goals over a concerted period of time.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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