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Psychologists Recommend That Parents Plan Nothing For Their Children This Summer

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Psychologists Recommend That Parents Plan Nothing For Their Children This Summer

Do you fill your child’s summer vacation with all kinds of things to do? Maybe this includes painting classes, cooking classes, or language classes. Maybe you find other kids for them to play with or new places and things to see. And don’t forget the museums, beaches, bike rides, tennis lessons, surf lessons, and life lessons. But is this really the best way that kids these days can learn life lessons when on vacation?

There are so many things for kids to do over the highly anticipated summer period these days, so many camps and excursions organized to fill time for kids. Psychologists have begun to explore the ideas behind this trend and whether or not it is as productive as we think. They have suggested that we may need to let children deal with boredom to assist in their mental growth. Boredom, they suggest, may just be the very thing that a child needs in order to properly discover what their true interests are.

Embrace Boredom

According to London child psychologist Lyn Fry, “Your role as a parent is to prepare children to take their place in society. Being an adult means occupying yourself and filling up your leisure time in a way that will make you happy. If parents spend all their time filling up their child’s spare time, then the child’s never going to learn to do this for themselves.”

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Boredom is more than its name suggests. It can be a breeding ground for creativity and for children to properly develop ideas relating to their internal stimulus, which is the link between boredom and imagination.

It can be difficult for children these days to have a long attention span due to the digital age and a large fixation with the internet and all the available time fillers. However, experts have been in discussion about the ways that boredom really is beneficial for developing kids.

In his book On Kissing, Tickling, and Being Bored, psychoanalyst Adam Phillips writes:

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“[The] capacity to be bored can be a developmental achievement for the child. Boredom is a chance to contemplate life, rather than rushing through it. It is one of the most oppressive demands of adults that the child should be interested, rather than take time to find what interests him. Boredom is integral to the process of taking one’s time.”

Write a List of Activities with your Child

Fry suggested an experiment where, before the summer starts, you sit down with your child and write a list together. On it will be all of the things from the child’s imagination regarding what they like to do with their spare time. If the child goes through summer feeling bored or complaining of boredom, the parent can then refer the child back to the list. This way, says Fry, the child is referencing their own ideas on how to best proceed with activities during their spare time. In turn, this could lead to their vocation becoming their career.

Boredom is Beneficial

Boredom is not a problematic occurrence, and children should be aware of this.

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“There’s no problem with being bored,” says Fry. “It’s not a sin, is it? I think children need to learn how to be bored in order to motivate themselves to get things done. Being bored is a way to make children self-reliant.”

Boredom has long been held a virtue by some. Philosopher Bertrand Russell stated his respect for boredom in his book The Conquest Of Happiness. It is integral to a child’s learning, he says:

“A child develops best when, like a young plant, he is left undisturbed in the same soil. Too much travel, too much variety of impressions, are not good for the young, and cause them as they grow up to become incapable of enduring fruitful monotony.”

So, next time your child complains of boredom, try getting them to write a list. And beyond that — plan nothing.

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Help Your Child to Get Better Grades

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How to Help Your Child to Get Better Grades

Children are most likely to say that they want to just lounge around or rest for a while after spending hours listening to lecture after lecture from their teachers. There is nothing wrong with this if they had a rough day.

What’s disturbing, is if they deliberately stay away from schoolwork or procrastinate when it comes to reviewing for their tests or completing an important science project.

When it seems that it is becoming a habit for your child to put off school work, it’s time for you to step in and help your child develop good study habits to get better grades. It is important for you to emphasize to your child the importance of setting priorities early in life. Don’t wait for them to flunk their tests, or worse, fail in their subjects before you talk to them about it.

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You can help your children hurdle their tests with these 7 tips:

1. Help them set targets

Ask your child what they want to achieve for that particular school year. Tell them to set a specific goal or target. If they say, “I want to get better grades,” tell them to be more specific. It will be better if they say they want to get a GPA of 2.5 or higher. Having a definite target will make it easier for them to undertake a series of actions to achieve their goals, instead of just “shooting for the moon.”

2. Preparation is key

At the start of the school year, teachers provide an outline of a subject’s scope along with a reading list and other course requirements. Make sure that your child has all the materials they need for these course requirements. Having these materials on hand will make sure that your child will have no reason to procrastinate and give them the opportunity to study in advance.

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3. Teach them to mark important dates

You may opt to give them a small notebook where they can jot down important dates or a planner that has dates where they can list their schedule. Ask them to show this to you so you can give them “gentle reminders” to block off the whole week before the dates of an exam. During this week, advise your child to not schedule any social activity so they can concentrate on studying.

4. Schedule regular study time

Encourage your child to set aside at least two hours every day to go through their lessons. This will help them remember the lectures for the day and understand the concepts they were taught. They should be encouraged to spend more time on subjects or concepts that they do not understand.

5. Get help

Some kids find it hard to digest or absorb mathematical or scientific concepts. Ask your child if they are having difficulties with their subjects and if they would like to seek the help of a tutor. There is nothing wrong in asking for the assistance of a tutor who can explain complex subjects.

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6. Schedule some “downtime”

Your child needs to relax from time to time. During his break, you can consider bringing your child to the nearest mall or grocery store and get them a treat. You may play board games with them during their downtime. The idea is to take his mind off studying for a limited period of time.

7. Reward your child

If your child achieves their goals for the school year, you may give them a reward such as buying them the gadget they have always wanted or allowing them to vacation wherever they want. By doing this, you are telling your child that hard work does pay off.

Conclusion

You need to take the time to monitor your child’s performance in school. Your guidance is essential to helping your child realize the need to prioritize their school activities. As a parent, your ultimate goal is to expose your child to habits that will lay down the groundwork for their future success.

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Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

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