Advertising
Advertising

Love Yourself First, Or No One Else Will

Love Yourself First, Or No One Else Will

It’s natural to want to be loved by someone else, and to share your love with others. However, so many people are so eager to please those around them and to remain in a relationship at all costs that they lose sight of themselves and can barely muster up the energy required grant themselves approval, let alone love.

This is a tragedy as you must love yourself before loving another. Remember, no healthy person wants a co-dependent partner who relies on them for self-validation. Everyone, whether single or not, should aim to be comfortable with themselves and learn how to practice self-love. Read on for some inspiring quotes that will help you along your path to greater self-love.

Advertising

1. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball

Depending on other people for approval is a risky strategy. Sure, when others gift us with love and approval it can seem easy to power through all of life’s challenges. However, if and when this approval is withdrawn (as it may be for many reasons), your self-esteem and drive will evaporate unless you can fall back upon self-love. Set your own goals and prove to yourself that you can meet them without approval or input from outside sources.

2. “Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” – Parker Palmer

If you lead a busy life, putting everyone else’s needs before your own can become a regular habit. However, if you don’t tend to your basic needs (relaxation, exercise, time alone, a good diet, time for fun), you will end up resenting others around you. This robs you of the opportunity to not only love yourself, but to form healthy relationships with others. Work out what you need to be happy, and concentrate on meeting them on your own terms.

Advertising

3. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

Even if you are in a relationship, without self-love you will struggle to appreciate compliments and praise give to you by your partner. This is because those who do not love themselves typically have a poor self-image, and so will not believe that others could think well of them. Being single is a great time in which to develop feelings of true self-love. If and when someone comes along with whom you can share your life, their approval will simply be an additional source of happiness.

4. “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. Forbes

When was the last time you sat down and took an honest look at your best points and finest qualities? If you over-value what other people have, you risk losing sight of your own qualities and as a result, not living up to your full potential. Remind yourself on a regular basis what it is you are good at.

Advertising

5. “Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.” – Dan Coppersmith

To truly love yourself, you must understand who you truly are. Be sure to spend quality ‘alone time’ on a regular basis. Discover and honour your own interests and hobbies. This way, you will never lose yourself when in a relationship with someone else. Take pride in who you are.

6. “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

It’s easy to assume that self-criticism will spur us on to make improvements. In reality, this isn’t how it works Instead, self-criticism leads to an increase in negative energy, which brings you down and makes it less, not more, likely that you will make forward strides. Practice praising yourself for positive actions, and speaking to yourself gently in the face of disappointment.

Advertising

7. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It is a sad fact of life that wherever you go, you will meet others who try to put you down, either via direct insults or subtler means such as comparisons or snide comments. However, you have a choice. You can choose to take their words to heart, or you choose to discard their opinions as the unwelcome ramblings of one individual who doesn’t get to pass judgement on you.

Once you have mastered the art of self-love, you will become unstoppable. When you love yourself, the approval of others becomes a nice extra, rather than a necessity. You will never lose out by treating yourself better, so make loving yourself a primary life goal.

More by this author

Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

30 Ways To Treat Yourself No Matter What 3 Things To Give Up If You Want To Take Control Of Your Life All You Have to Do to Sleep Better How Social Media Is Making You Feel Bad about Yourself Every Day The Ultimate Guide: How to Become More Creative Day by Day

Trending in Communication

1 How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner 2 12 Surprising Benefits of Learning a New Language 3 5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships 4 How a Lack of Communication Can Cost Your Career 5 What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

Advertising

1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

Advertising

Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

Advertising

5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

Advertising

Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next