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Love Yourself First, Or No One Else Will

Love Yourself First, Or No One Else Will

It’s natural to want to be loved by someone else, and to share your love with others. However, so many people are so eager to please those around them and to remain in a relationship at all costs that they lose sight of themselves and can barely muster up the energy required grant themselves approval, let alone love.

This is a tragedy as you must love yourself before loving another. Remember, no healthy person wants a co-dependent partner who relies on them for self-validation. Everyone, whether single or not, should aim to be comfortable with themselves and learn how to practice self-love. Read on for some inspiring quotes that will help you along your path to greater self-love.

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1. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball

Depending on other people for approval is a risky strategy. Sure, when others gift us with love and approval it can seem easy to power through all of life’s challenges. However, if and when this approval is withdrawn (as it may be for many reasons), your self-esteem and drive will evaporate unless you can fall back upon self-love. Set your own goals and prove to yourself that you can meet them without approval or input from outside sources.

2. “Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” – Parker Palmer

If you lead a busy life, putting everyone else’s needs before your own can become a regular habit. However, if you don’t tend to your basic needs (relaxation, exercise, time alone, a good diet, time for fun), you will end up resenting others around you. This robs you of the opportunity to not only love yourself, but to form healthy relationships with others. Work out what you need to be happy, and concentrate on meeting them on your own terms.

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3. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

Even if you are in a relationship, without self-love you will struggle to appreciate compliments and praise give to you by your partner. This is because those who do not love themselves typically have a poor self-image, and so will not believe that others could think well of them. Being single is a great time in which to develop feelings of true self-love. If and when someone comes along with whom you can share your life, their approval will simply be an additional source of happiness.

4. “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. Forbes

When was the last time you sat down and took an honest look at your best points and finest qualities? If you over-value what other people have, you risk losing sight of your own qualities and as a result, not living up to your full potential. Remind yourself on a regular basis what it is you are good at.

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5. “Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.” – Dan Coppersmith

To truly love yourself, you must understand who you truly are. Be sure to spend quality ‘alone time’ on a regular basis. Discover and honour your own interests and hobbies. This way, you will never lose yourself when in a relationship with someone else. Take pride in who you are.

6. “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

It’s easy to assume that self-criticism will spur us on to make improvements. In reality, this isn’t how it works Instead, self-criticism leads to an increase in negative energy, which brings you down and makes it less, not more, likely that you will make forward strides. Practice praising yourself for positive actions, and speaking to yourself gently in the face of disappointment.

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7. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It is a sad fact of life that wherever you go, you will meet others who try to put you down, either via direct insults or subtler means such as comparisons or snide comments. However, you have a choice. You can choose to take their words to heart, or you choose to discard their opinions as the unwelcome ramblings of one individual who doesn’t get to pass judgement on you.

Once you have mastered the art of self-love, you will become unstoppable. When you love yourself, the approval of others becomes a nice extra, rather than a necessity. You will never lose out by treating yourself better, so make loving yourself a primary life goal.

More by this author

Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How many times have you not achieved your goals and let yourself down due to your lack of motivation? When you’re not wallowing in sadness and self-pity, you are too busy procrastinating till you can’t anymore and before you know it, you are part of vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.

Whether it’s losing weight or bringing your business to fruition – motivation is essential for growth and success in every sphere of our lives.

That said, it is not easy staying motivated. In order to constantly stay motivated, you need to take ownership of your life and consciously make efforts in that direction.

Well, it’s never too late to take matters in your hands and change the course of your life. Here are 11 effective ways to crush your lack of motivation and always stay motivated:

1. Write Your Goals

The power of writing goals down has always been underestimated. Why write when you can remember, right? Wrong.

Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to achieve your goals is to organize your thoughts. So, write your goals down, however big or small they might be. Make them as specific as possible and assign deadlines to each of them.

As you write them down and revisit them regularly, they get further drilled in your head, taking you closer to your goals. Doing this small exercise helps you to remain focused, motivated and lets you track your progress with ease.

Start today – take to your laptop or a diary and get down to writing what you wish to achieve in life.

2. Beat Procrastination

Your lack of motivation and procrastination go hand in hand. Every time you procrastinate, your motivation levels take a greater hit. The only way to bring an end to this loop is to stop procrastinating.

Next time you find yourself putting off something for ‘later’, stop and assess the reasons behind it. Get to the root of the cause and eliminate it in order to overcome this poor habit of procrastinating which is sabotaging your life and mental health.

Take a look at this guide and learn how to beat procrastination:

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What Is Procrastination (And the Complete Guide to Stop Procrastinating)

When you finally overcome procrastination, you will realize the positive impact it has on your mood and motivation levels.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

In the quest to achieve the bigger goals in life, we often forget to celebrate the smaller wins along the way. An achievement is an achievement – be it big or small, it deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Finished a project on time? Reward yourself. Managed to run on the treadmill for a good one hour? Pat yourself on the back. Found time to meditate? Celebrate it.

It is these small achievements that reinstate that we are on the right path and take us one step closer to the bigger goals.

So, get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating small wins. You will be surprised to see how this practice helps you stay motivated.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s easier to whine about what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Isn’t it?

Making gratefulness a part of your life is a very important step to retain high motivational levels. It revitalizes our spirits and renews our enthusiasm for life.

So, how do you practice gratitude? For starters, keep a gratitude journal to jot down what you are grateful for, express your gratitude to people you love and spread positivity wherever you go. If you need some inspiration to be thankful for, here it is:

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

By doing so, you begin to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t and that is a great start to stay motivated.

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5. Be Optimistic

Life is not always hunky dory. There will be bad days when things aren’t going in your favor, when you feel lost and all you want to do is give up.

At such times, instead of letting negativity take over your life, adopt an optimistic approach to life. Quit overthinking, ask the right questions and focus on finding solutions.

Yes, there will be hurdles along the way but if you hang on to positive affirmations and hopes, the journey will be a lot smoother. So, with every passing day, sow the seeds of positivity and you are sure to build a positive environment around you.

6. Don’t Dwell on the Past

A lot of times, our lack of motivation stems from the habit of dwelling on the past. This gives rise to fear and regrets, preventing us from making progress in the present day.

Dwelling on the past is nothing but a waste of time. Understand that the past is long gone, and you cannot do anything to change that.

What you can do is make your present day worthwhile. Instead of looking back and having regrets, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

So, the next time you find your mind wandering off to the past, be determined to change the way you think and consciously concentrate on living in the present. This guide can help you:

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

7. Face your Fears

You can never find motivation where there is fear. Identify the fear that is pulling you back and tackle it.

If you don’t face your fear head on, you cannot expect to conquer it and renew your motivation.

Ask yourself: What is stopping you? What are you scared of?

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Once you accept your fear, you can work on an action plan and think of solutions to overcome it. This article will give you some effective tips on conquering your fears:

How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

Seek external help if required but don’t choose to turn a blind eye over your fears – it will only aggravate matters.

8. Visualize your Success

You must have heard the famous quote, ‘see it to believe it’. That is exactly what visualization is about.

One of the most effective self-motivation techniques, visualizing the process to your desired outcome helps you move in a positive direction and achieve your goal.

Close your eyes and focus all your energies on the minutest of details that will take you where you want to reach. Doing this exercise everyday inspires you to keep going and not lose hope. The vision of attaining success will drive you to do better while instilling belief and confidence.

9. Find Inspiration

Can’t seem to find inspiration inwards? Don’t panic. There are plenty of external sources to gain inspiration from.

From motivational books and quotes to speeches, films and apps – it is a good idea to take help from motivational material to rekindle your spirits and regain your motivation.

Everyone is wired differently. For instance, a self-help book might work for your friend, but it might do nothing to move you. So, find what inspires you and turn to it when you are in desperate need for motivation.

Finding inspiration externally fills you with hope and sometimes that is all you need.

10. Enjoy Downtime

You are clearly exhausted with all the running you’re doing in life. So much, that you don’t even have time to stop and think what’s causing you so much unhappiness. All you know is that you are lacking motivation and everyday seems to have become a struggle.

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Now, that’s certainly not how you should live the rest of your life.

You need to schedule downtime for yourself, relax and give your mind and body some rest. Take a vacation, indulge in hobbies, meet some friends, put your hair down and stop with all the overthinking. It is important to do things that make you happy in order to think clearly and stay motivated.

11. Meditate Regularly

Meditation lets you take control of your mind. It improves focus and concentration while helping you relax.

Whenever you have had a tough day or find your thoughts going places, the best way to calm yourself down is by closing your eyes and meditating. It helps you to remove all the unnecessary frills in life and keeps you on the right track.

Include meditation in your daily schedule and you are sure to see an improvement in your productivity and motivation.

The Bottom Line

Practicing these simple exercises isn’t the tough part, what’s tough is religiously doing them every day.

However, don’t expect to get rid of your lack of motivation overnight. There will still be days when you will be low on energy but by making these conscious efforts to stay motivated, you are sure to see a vast change in your perspective and your response to bad days.

So, start today and be committed to making a positive change in your life.

More Tips About Staying Motivated

Featured photo credit: Sonnie Hiles via unsplash.com

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