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Love Yourself First, Or No One Else Will

Love Yourself First, Or No One Else Will

It’s natural to want to be loved by someone else, and to share your love with others. However, so many people are so eager to please those around them and to remain in a relationship at all costs that they lose sight of themselves and can barely muster up the energy required grant themselves approval, let alone love.

This is a tragedy as you must love yourself before loving another. Remember, no healthy person wants a co-dependent partner who relies on them for self-validation. Everyone, whether single or not, should aim to be comfortable with themselves and learn how to practice self-love. Read on for some inspiring quotes that will help you along your path to greater self-love.

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1. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball

Depending on other people for approval is a risky strategy. Sure, when others gift us with love and approval it can seem easy to power through all of life’s challenges. However, if and when this approval is withdrawn (as it may be for many reasons), your self-esteem and drive will evaporate unless you can fall back upon self-love. Set your own goals and prove to yourself that you can meet them without approval or input from outside sources.

2. “Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” – Parker Palmer

If you lead a busy life, putting everyone else’s needs before your own can become a regular habit. However, if you don’t tend to your basic needs (relaxation, exercise, time alone, a good diet, time for fun), you will end up resenting others around you. This robs you of the opportunity to not only love yourself, but to form healthy relationships with others. Work out what you need to be happy, and concentrate on meeting them on your own terms.

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3. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

Even if you are in a relationship, without self-love you will struggle to appreciate compliments and praise give to you by your partner. This is because those who do not love themselves typically have a poor self-image, and so will not believe that others could think well of them. Being single is a great time in which to develop feelings of true self-love. If and when someone comes along with whom you can share your life, their approval will simply be an additional source of happiness.

4. “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. Forbes

When was the last time you sat down and took an honest look at your best points and finest qualities? If you over-value what other people have, you risk losing sight of your own qualities and as a result, not living up to your full potential. Remind yourself on a regular basis what it is you are good at.

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5. “Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters.” – Dan Coppersmith

To truly love yourself, you must understand who you truly are. Be sure to spend quality ‘alone time’ on a regular basis. Discover and honour your own interests and hobbies. This way, you will never lose yourself when in a relationship with someone else. Take pride in who you are.

6. “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

It’s easy to assume that self-criticism will spur us on to make improvements. In reality, this isn’t how it works Instead, self-criticism leads to an increase in negative energy, which brings you down and makes it less, not more, likely that you will make forward strides. Practice praising yourself for positive actions, and speaking to yourself gently in the face of disappointment.

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7. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It is a sad fact of life that wherever you go, you will meet others who try to put you down, either via direct insults or subtler means such as comparisons or snide comments. However, you have a choice. You can choose to take their words to heart, or you choose to discard their opinions as the unwelcome ramblings of one individual who doesn’t get to pass judgement on you.

Once you have mastered the art of self-love, you will become unstoppable. When you love yourself, the approval of others becomes a nice extra, rather than a necessity. You will never lose out by treating yourself better, so make loving yourself a primary life goal.

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Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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