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How To Get That Travel High Even When You’re Not Traveling

How To Get That Travel High Even When You’re Not Traveling

If you love the high you get when you travel, you probably anxiously wait all year for your next vacation. You research, plan, talk about, and dream about it.

Then, after it’s over, you’re depressed, thinking about the fact that you only have this couple of weeks to travel in a year. You think about quitting your job for travelling, but maybe you love your job or you just aren’t the type that wants to be a nomad. Maybe you just want more of that feeling you get when you travel. The feeling of waking up somewhere new, seeing new things, eating new things, doing new things, be far away from your office and your everyday life (international data plans are expensive!)

When we’re at home, we tend to take things for granted. We don’t try to pack as many experiences in as we can when we travel – because we know we’ll always have tomorrow. But many of us never get around to doing this stuff. Tourists come to our country and see more famous sites or beautiful places in a month than we’ve seen in 10 years.

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So, how do we tap that energy, the energy of tourists? That feeling of excitement that comes when we experience those new things and new places?

1. Make a precious weekend or day off

We treat vacation time like it’s valuable time that must be spent doing meaningful things. But on the weekends, a lot of us tend to just hang around at home, get stuff done, or do the same old things week in and week out.

We see the weekend as a time to relax, to catch up on housework and laundry, or to see friends. But can’t we do this stuff during the week, leaving us free to fully enjoy each weekend to its fullest? Give yourself something awesome to look forward to every month — not just once or twice a year. Start with just one weekend a month and go from there.

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2. Be a tourist.

No one said you have to leave the country or even your own state to be a tourist. However, you might have to leave your own town (unless your hometown is NYC, SF, or some other big city).

Why not pick a place an hour or two away that looks interesting and go there? Learn something about the place. Visit a museum or landmark or beautiful sight (private beach, great hiking spot, etc). Get that traveler feeling you get when you’re in a new city somewhere and you hit the supermarket to stock up your Airbnb. Look up what to see and do, and where the best places are to get fresh fruits, veggies, or any special items the area is known for. Stop at a farmer’s market if they have one. Buy stuff you wouldn’t normally buy and cook something you wouldn’t normally cook. It’ll feel like you really are a tourist on vacation heading back to your rental apartment with your spoils.

3. Change your midweek routine.

Instead of eating at your favorite Thai restaurant or organic pizza joint every Thursday night, try something new. Choose a type of cuisine you normally don’t eat (Ethopian? Afghani? Korean?) or a type of venue you normally don’t frequent (a food truck gathering? A divey taco shop or funky noodle house?). Instead of running in the park every morning before work, try hitting a different spot even if it’s a bit farther. Take a yoga class in the park and meet new people. Go to a movie or a theater production midweek and get dressed up.

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4. Turn your home into a vacation resort.

Love the cucumber water they serve at health spas? The pretty way they cut pineapples at that one Caribbean resort you spend every other summer at? The sheets at your favorite hotel? Recreate some of this stuff at home! Cut up some fancy fruit and chill some mint-cucumber-lime water in the fridge. Splurge on some 1000-count Egyptian cotton sheets (believe me, you won’t regret it!). Plan an evening where you listen to some of your favorite vacation-holiday music (salsa music that reminds you of your honeymoon in Latin American? A soundtrack from your road trip in New Zealand?) and nosh on/drink some stuff you haven’t had since you were last abroad.

5. Talk to strangers.

One of the biggest differences between our daily lives (especially as Americans who drive almost everywhere and use GPS and Yelp or Siri for whatever we need to find and wherever we need to go) and our vacation/travel lives is the amount of time we spend talking to strangers.

When we are traveling internationally, we most often don’t have regular use of our phones, a vast knowledge of what apps or websites to use to find stuff (if they even exist), or any real idea of how to find the best food, drinks, or vista points without talking to locals or consulting a Lonely Planet guide. A lot of us don’t like to wander around with our nose in a travel guidebook, so we result to — gasp! — talking to strangers.

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You might chat up that nice restaurant or bar owner you met or the guy who rented you your Airbnb. Maybe get chatty with the tour guide who led you on a city day tour. These exchanges often lead to some of the best experiences and sometimes even to new friendships. But you don’t have to be in a foreign country to feel comfortable talking to strangers. Just try it!

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1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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