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5 Behaviors That Could Be Killing Your Confidence and How to Avoid Them

5 Behaviors That Could Be Killing Your Confidence and How to Avoid Them

We all know what an advantage it is to be confident and how having self-confidence can make a huge difference in your professional, social, and personal life. Most of us have heard of some easy practices to help increase confidence, but it’s equally important to make sure you’re not unknowingly doing things that undermine your confidence.

Here are 5 behaviors that could be killing your confidence and how you can avoid them.

1. Seeking Approval From Everyone

Truly confident people have no interest in pleasing everyone they meet. They understand that not everyone is going to agree with them, and that’s okay. Instead, they focus more on building quality relationships with the people they respect and value, rather than focusing on winning over every person they meet.

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Don’t let the opinions of the masses (or those whom you don’t value) define who you are or what you can and can’t do in life. It may outrage some of the people around you, but by letting go of the need to impress everyone, you will begin to truly impress those who actually matter to your future. When the important people in your life truly have your back, you’ll feel way more confident where it counts.

2. Focusing More On the Obstacle Than the Solution

Life is full of obstacles, with everything from learning to ride a bike to building your first company. Every obstacle is an opportunity to grow as a person. Personal growth on a consistent basis is what generates the kind of confidence that lasts. However, challenges can often send us spiraling into doubts and worries, as you imagine all the worst possible outcomes and become paralyzed. For instance, when a relationship is challenged, some people will often immediately assume that their partner is losing interest in them. Sadly, this often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You have a choice. You can choose to focus all of your attention on the problem, which gets you nowhere, or you can choose to acknowledge the problem and then quickly move to finding a solution.

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Confident people spend the majority of their time focused on finding a solution. They don’t spend time torturing themselves with the thought that their partner is withdrawing and their relationship is over. Instead, they take action in the direction in which they wish to go, even if they can’t see all the pieces falling into place yet.

3. Getting Caught Up in Needless Drama

We all love a bit of drama. That’s why movies and reality TV shows can be so captivating. They catch our attention and allow us to clarify our values. However, some people really love drama, so much so that they create it in their lives for the sake of non-stop excitement. Don’t buy into their propaganda that sustains it. Unnecessary and ongoing drama in your life leads to more stress, and stress kills confidence. Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.

Imagine if you spent all of your time each day directing your energy towards your most positive possibilities and solutions to real problems. How much happier would you feel? Instead of getting angry, get curious. Instead of getting annoyed, be amused. Replace envy with admiration. Don’t spend your precious time caught up in negativity.

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Instead, count your blessings, value the people who matter most in your life, bless and release the haters, and rise above the petty drama with your head held high and your focus on how to create a better life for you and for others.

4. Interpreting Failure as a Reflection of Your Worth

One thing is certain: successful and unsuccessful people differ in the way that they view failure.

Successful people understand that failure is simply part of the learning process. Every time they figure out a wrong way to do something, they get one step closer to discovering the right way of doing it. It’s a matter of perception. On the other hand, unsuccessful people tend to take failure personally. They see failure as a reflection of their worth. Furthermore, they think that when they fail it also proves that they are a “failure” in life.

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Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times while inventing the light bulb before he got it to work. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team and is quoted as saying, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed.”

So, the next time you fail at something, before you start beating yourself up about it, take a moment and remember that failure is simply part of the growth process. Persistence and positivity pays off.

5. Hiding From New Life Experiences

It’s so easy to get stuck in a weekly routine, doing the same things, watching the same shows, eating the same foods. This may keep you feeling comfortable, but it could be killing your confidence.

Just as in nature, if you’re not growing you’re dying. Get out into the world and explore. Meet new people and travel. Do something that kind of scares you. New positive experiences in life will keep you feeling on-fire and excited about your future,

Because you will feel alive in new ways (as well as feeling that you are expanding your resources, your experiences, and your wisdom), you will fuel your self-confidence every day of your life.

More by this author

Nick Bastion

Love Expert, Relationship Coach, Author

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Last Updated on March 24, 2021

8 Smart Home Gadgets You Need in Your House

8 Smart Home Gadgets You Need in Your House

We’ve all done it. We’ve gone out and bought useless gadgets that we don’t really need, just because they seemed really cool at the time. Then, we are stuck with a bunch of junk, and end up tossing it or trying to sell it on Ebay.

On the other hand, there are some pretty awesome tech inventions that are actually useful. For instance, many of the latest home gadgets do some of your work for you, from adjusting the home thermostat to locking your front door. And, if used as designed, these tools should really help to make your life a lot easier—and that’s not just a claim from some infomercial trying to sell you yet another useless gadget.

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Take a look at some of the most popular “smart gadgets” on the market:

1. Smart Door Locks

A smart lock lets you lock and unlock your doors by using your smartphone, a special key fob, or biometrics. These locks are keyless, and much more difficult for intruders to break into, making your home a lot safer. You can even use a special app to let people into your home if you are not there to greet them.

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2. Smart Kitchen Tools

Wouldn’t you just love to have a pot of coffee waiting for you when you get home from work? What about a “smart pan” that tells you exactly when you need to flip that omelet? From meat thermometers to kitchen scales, you’ll find a variety of “smart” gadgets designed to make culinary geeks salivate.

3. Mini Home Speaker Play:1

If you love big sound, but hate how much space big speakers take up, and if you want a stereo system that is no bigger than your fist, check out the Play:1 mini speaker. All you have to do is plug it in, connect, and then you can stream without worrying about any interruptions or interface. You can even add onto it, and have different music playing in different rooms.

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4. Wi-Fi Security Cameras

These are the latest in home security, and they connect to the Wi-Fi in your home. You can use your mobile devices to monitor what is going on in your home at all times, no matter where you are. Options include motion sensors, two-way audio, and different recording options.

5. Nest Thermostat

This is a thermostat that lives with you. It can sense seasonal changes, temperature changes, etc., and it will adjust itself automatically. You will never have to fiddle with a thermostat dial or keypad again, because this one basically does all of the work for you. It can also help you to save as much as 12% on heating bills, and 15% on cooling bills.

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6. Smart Lighting

Control your home lighting from your remote device. This is great if you are out and want to make sure that there are some lights on. It is designed to be energy efficient, so it will pay for itself over time because you won’t have to spend so much on your monthly energy bills.

7. Google Chromecast Ultra

Whether you love movies, television shows, music, etc., you can stream it all using Google Chromecast Ultra. Stream all of the entertainment you love in up to 4K UHD and HDR, for just $69 monthly.

8. Canary

This home security system will automatically contact emergency services when they are needed. This system offers both video and audio surveillance, so there will be evidence if there are any break-ins on your property. You can also use it to check up on what’s happening at home when you are not there, including to make sure the kids are doing their homework.

Featured photo credit: Karolina via kaboompics.com

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