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5 Behaviors That Could Be Killing Your Confidence and How to Avoid Them

5 Behaviors That Could Be Killing Your Confidence and How to Avoid Them

We all know what an advantage it is to be confident and how having self-confidence can make a huge difference in your professional, social, and personal life. Most of us have heard of some easy practices to help increase confidence, but it’s equally important to make sure you’re not unknowingly doing things that undermine your confidence.

Here are 5 behaviors that could be killing your confidence and how you can avoid them.

1. Seeking Approval From Everyone

Truly confident people have no interest in pleasing everyone they meet. They understand that not everyone is going to agree with them, and that’s okay. Instead, they focus more on building quality relationships with the people they respect and value, rather than focusing on winning over every person they meet.

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Don’t let the opinions of the masses (or those whom you don’t value) define who you are or what you can and can’t do in life. It may outrage some of the people around you, but by letting go of the need to impress everyone, you will begin to truly impress those who actually matter to your future. When the important people in your life truly have your back, you’ll feel way more confident where it counts.

2. Focusing More On the Obstacle Than the Solution

Life is full of obstacles, with everything from learning to ride a bike to building your first company. Every obstacle is an opportunity to grow as a person. Personal growth on a consistent basis is what generates the kind of confidence that lasts. However, challenges can often send us spiraling into doubts and worries, as you imagine all the worst possible outcomes and become paralyzed. For instance, when a relationship is challenged, some people will often immediately assume that their partner is losing interest in them. Sadly, this often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You have a choice. You can choose to focus all of your attention on the problem, which gets you nowhere, or you can choose to acknowledge the problem and then quickly move to finding a solution.

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Confident people spend the majority of their time focused on finding a solution. They don’t spend time torturing themselves with the thought that their partner is withdrawing and their relationship is over. Instead, they take action in the direction in which they wish to go, even if they can’t see all the pieces falling into place yet.

3. Getting Caught Up in Needless Drama

We all love a bit of drama. That’s why movies and reality TV shows can be so captivating. They catch our attention and allow us to clarify our values. However, some people really love drama, so much so that they create it in their lives for the sake of non-stop excitement. Don’t buy into their propaganda that sustains it. Unnecessary and ongoing drama in your life leads to more stress, and stress kills confidence. Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.

Imagine if you spent all of your time each day directing your energy towards your most positive possibilities and solutions to real problems. How much happier would you feel? Instead of getting angry, get curious. Instead of getting annoyed, be amused. Replace envy with admiration. Don’t spend your precious time caught up in negativity.

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Instead, count your blessings, value the people who matter most in your life, bless and release the haters, and rise above the petty drama with your head held high and your focus on how to create a better life for you and for others.

4. Interpreting Failure as a Reflection of Your Worth

One thing is certain: successful and unsuccessful people differ in the way that they view failure.

Successful people understand that failure is simply part of the learning process. Every time they figure out a wrong way to do something, they get one step closer to discovering the right way of doing it. It’s a matter of perception. On the other hand, unsuccessful people tend to take failure personally. They see failure as a reflection of their worth. Furthermore, they think that when they fail it also proves that they are a “failure” in life.

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Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times while inventing the light bulb before he got it to work. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team and is quoted as saying, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed.”

So, the next time you fail at something, before you start beating yourself up about it, take a moment and remember that failure is simply part of the growth process. Persistence and positivity pays off.

5. Hiding From New Life Experiences

It’s so easy to get stuck in a weekly routine, doing the same things, watching the same shows, eating the same foods. This may keep you feeling comfortable, but it could be killing your confidence.

Just as in nature, if you’re not growing you’re dying. Get out into the world and explore. Meet new people and travel. Do something that kind of scares you. New positive experiences in life will keep you feeling on-fire and excited about your future,

Because you will feel alive in new ways (as well as feeling that you are expanding your resources, your experiences, and your wisdom), you will fuel your self-confidence every day of your life.

More by this author

Nick Bastion

Love Expert, Relationship Coach, Author

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

10 Reasons Why You Should Get Naked More Often

10 Reasons Why You Should Get Naked More Often

Getting naked is often thought of as an act that should only be reserved for intimacy—and even then some get squirmy! Many people are more comfortable believing that the more clothes you are wearing the better. However, getting naked more often can have great benefits for you. Here are 10 great reasons to get naked more often:

1. It burns more fat.

Your body’s main supply of brown adipose tissue (BAT), or good fat cells, are located around your shoulder blades and neck. When your body is exposed to the elements and is cooler, the BAT proliferates and essentially kills the white adipose tissue, aka bad fat cells. So, not wearing any clothes helps promote this and makes you healthier.

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2. You’ll become comfortable with who you are.

Self-acceptance is hard to come by today. Ask anyone you know and see if they are happy with themselves. Chances are they will say they are too fat, not pretty, and find all of the flaws that they can. In reality, others do not see this. They see that you are beautiful. When you begin to get naked, you learn to appreciate your body and realize how beautiful you really are.

3. It saves you money.

Being naked more often saves on buying new clothing since you are wearing nothing a lot of the time. Be careful when you are in public, though—you may have to put on some clothes!

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4. It increases your immune system.

Being naked and getting exposure to the sun’s rays actually increases your body’s vitamin D levels. Vitamin D is directly related to your immune system. When you have optimal levels of vitamin D, your body’s immune system is impeccable, and you will be better equipped to ward off viruses, including the common cold and flu. So go lay outside naked on your private balcony or in your yard.

5. It makes you face your fears head on.

People cringe today when you mention the words “get naked.” They are so afraid of it—and today’s children are so ingrained with this—that they must wear layer upon layer to deal with their body image. However, when you are naked, you face your fears of body image and self-acceptance, experiencing some of the best moments of your life.

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6. You will feel better in your clothes.

When you do wear clothes (because not everyone has yet accepted being naked in public), you will start to choose clothing that accentuates the parts of your body that you love. You will begin to notice that maybe that muumuu does not flatter your beautiful curves and start wearing clothes that you love.

7. You will embrace vulnerability.

When you put yourself out there, it is a natural reaction to have fear and worry. However, this is an opportunity to embrace being vulnerable. It allows you to think and get down to the core of what really matters and what is of importance to you. When you strip away all of the excess, you are 100% you and willing to take on anything that comes your way.

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8. You will show the world the real you.

Today, we have many ways of altering our appearance from our true body image when we wear clothing. Some people alter their image so much that they fear getting naked with the person they love. It seems crazy that this could even happen; however, the rise in use of breast-enhancing bras and Spanx products has put this idea into people’s minds. This all goes back to being comfortable with your true body image. If a person really does love you, then they should not love you based upon your image. If they do, then you may even decide that the ever-so-uncomfortable leggings that go up above your waist to hold in all of the imperfections may not be worth it after all.

9. You will have fun.

Well, this could go in all sorts of directions. But when you are comfortable with your naked body and see it as being flattering, then life is more fun. You start realizing that you are beautiful and are willing to do more things that you probably would not have done otherwise—with and without your clothes on.

10. You can have intercourse with the lights on.

Many people are self-conscious about the way they look and decide that the less lighting the better when they are intimate with their partner. It’s nothing new. If you survey your best friends, you will probably come to this conclusion too. They may say that it even gets awkward, because they are more concerned with what their partner thinks of their body than just having and enjoying amazing intercourse. When you love the way you look naked, you will also want to have your partner see you at your best.

What are you waiting for? Start spending more time in the buff today and begin to change the way you think about your body.

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