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Last Updated on August 24, 2020

Your Words Have POWER – Use Them Wisely

Your Words Have POWER – Use Them Wisely

Powerful, positive, and beautiful words can heal and uplift. When spoken with truth, your words have the ability to change lives.Think about how you communicate. Your words can encourage people to achieve greatness. Your words can support and even heal someone’s suffering. Your words can nurture, nourish, and inspire your children.

Sadly, emotions like hatred, fear, anger, frustration, and resentment can be expressed and fueled by words. Whether words are written or spoken, they have the power to break and destroy healthy environments, as well as relationships.

It is vital to always speak your truth, but we must be mindful about what we say and how we say it. Your words can change everything.

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React or respond

If you react and then respond to a situation with really destructive words, the implications can be overwhelming and soul destroying for the recipient. It’s very easy to put voice to our feelings and thoughts; however, it takes control, strength, and absolute integrity to express ourselves in a positive way no matter the situation. Stop and take a breath before you speak when you are stressed.

Be responsible for your words

Really think about the fact that your words hold incredible power both positively and negatively. Everything that is expressed verbally has the power to influence and change the lives of all you share your world with. It is your choice to use words that inspire or destroy. Once said, your words cannot be retracted.

Mind your language

Choose to speak only words that are positive, loving, healing, inspiring, and uplifting. Positive words will transform your life and the lives of those around you. You can create an environment of positive energy right now. Pay attention to your language.

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Positive self-talk

Positive self-talk is a vital step in building self esteem. It is a phenomenal strategy for change. Some of the greatest athletes in the world use positive self-talk to help them achieve their biggest goals. The thing is, you don’t actually need to be a gold medalist to use this strategy. Anyone  can do it!

More often than not, it is so routine to speak negatively about yourself that you are completely unaware of how frequently you do it. You may not even be aware that you are doing it. I wonder if, for the next twenty-four hours, you would take the time to pay attention to your thoughts and also take notice of how you speak about yourself?

What kind of internal dialogue are you running? Furthermore, are you verbalizing it?

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Your inner critic

Pay attention to how often your inner critic is active. By taking note of any negative self talk, this will begin the necessary process of interrupting this destructive habit.

If you speak negatively about yourself, and as you pay more attention to how often this is happening, start asking yourself the following questions:

  • Would I speak to my best friend like this?
  • Would I speak to someone I loved like this?
  • Can I change the situation that is making me feel so down?
  • Am I actively taking positive steps towards feeling better?
  • What resulted from saying something so negative to myself?

Take notice of your self-talk. If your inner critic is loud and out of control, it’s time to silence that negative voice in your head. Negative self-talk can influence your self-esteem, your outlook on life, your energy levels, your relationships, and even your health.

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Quit

Make a commitment to quit the negative self-talk. Just like any toxic bad habit, you can decide to stop this behavior. It may take time, perseverance, attention, and strength to quit negative self-talk completely because for many of us it has become so deeply ingrained, it is almost second nature. Once you are aware that you are doing it, understand that you will need to keep interrupting yourself and your thoughts to stop it altogether. Becoming aware of this behavior is the key to quitting.

Positive words are good for your health

Positive self-talk will:

  • Boost your confidence
  • Improve your mood
  • Eliminate stress
  • Improve heart health and well-being

Your mind is like a garden bed, if you plant powerful and positive seeds your whole being will flourish.

It is your choice. What will you plant: flowers or weeds? Your words have power. Use them wisely.

More by this author

Jo Ettles

Jo Ettles is a published self help author, international writer, speaker and extremely gifted intuitive life coach.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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