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Divergence: An Amazing Law Of Attraction

Divergence: An Amazing Law Of Attraction

Sigmund Freud said people could be categorized by the bodily orifice which gave them most pleasure. If you didn’t already know that, you may be going “Wait, WHAT!?”

Sir Albert Einstein’s concepts of relativity were ridiculed by certain prominent universities who said his theory was more in the realm of art and imagination rather than science. He was really laughed at when he dared to challenge Newton’s theory and said light had a dual nature (wave particle duality).

Johnny Depp said in an interview that he does not like to watch his movies. He said: “It’s my job to be behind the camera and give my best. And then… there’s that guy out there!!” He said he has not watched any of his own movies!

I know a celebrity singer, composer, and lyricist who says: “Love is nothing but a game of logic, it’s all in the pituitary gland, It’s a game where everyone wants to win!“

You may have your opinions on the people above. You may hate them or you may love them. But one thing is for sure: you cannot ignore them.

They are what I will call the “Divergents” of our society, as opposed to the many “Conformists” we have around us. They shock us with their concepts, their actions, and their attitudes.

It’s not always a good thing, but it always attracts attention!

The Attraction

I know a girl who fell in love with a guy the first time he spoke to her.

He never thought about approaching her because she was somehow always “way out of his league” — or so he thought. He drew a remarkable pencil sketch of the girl just to be able to talk to her one day. Well, he did talk to her, and she could not help but resist that gesture.

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For time immemorial, people have felt that enormous inherent attraction towards wonderful weirdness, towards divergence, towards things that do not seem normal.

If I told you that Thailand is a beautiful place, you would probably think of going for a visit one day. However, if I said that Thailand has a monk who died 300 years ago and his body has still not decayed, that it’s a place where men and tigers have learned to live together, you would think “Really? I must go see that right now!”

If I told you that anger is a bad emotion, you would say “Yeah, I agree.” On the other hand, if I said that “Anger can be extremely productive for you,” You would say “Wait a minute — how?”

People with ways of thinking that do not match up with the crowd become incredibly attractive. They stand out.

You cannot help but be interested. You find yourself wondering “What is he like? Why does he think that way?”

This curiosity makes you want to know them more, to stick around, to go deeper.

Desire for the forbidden

“Even the sweetest meat will seem nauseating if served on a full belly, you need to wait till they ask for it.” — Socrates.

In an experiment in the United States, it was shown that cookies taken from a jar which has only two cookies in it seem to taste more delicious than when taken from a jar full of cookies.

This and other experiments have proven over time that things which are scarcely available or extinct seem more desirable — regardless of their usefulness. Think of the online gimmicks telling you: “Last day of sale!” or “Grab yours before it goes out of stock!” They poke your interest by creating a want in your mind that is due to scarcity. Even if you don’t actually want it, you are forced to think: “I’d better grab it before someone else does!”

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Most of us are attracted to the forbidden, the mysterious, the scarcely available, even if subconsciously. People who are divergent seem somehow mysterious. Some admit it, others don’t, and some do not realize this. But the attraction is real.

The point is that having a mysterious exterior can make you immensely attractive. Even a twister, no matter how bad it really is, can seem attractive from a distance.

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    How to use this law of attraction

    So, is this just a lecture on psychology or is it useful information? We need to know what’s in it for us!

    Well, I am a sailor. As a group, we usually do not deal in useless theories. So, how do you use this concept to your advantage?

    This is one of the lesser-known secrets, and it can give you a fresh start to your life. If you understand how we are subconsciously attracted to that madness, the attraction behind that weirdness which we apparently keep getting amazed or maybe even annoyed by, you can use this to change your world.

    How do you start a conversation? The classic “How do you do?” with a handshake and a shoulder shrug for an adult and the even more cliché “Hey, what’s your name?” for a kid?

    This time, try things differently.

    I once started a conversation with a girl by saying “Let’s talk about love is a great album! Have you heard of it? Celine Dion is simply awesome!” I was told later that this unusual introduction made me highly attractive.

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    Meeting a girl for a brief moment and need to create an impression? Ask her which chocolate she likes. Tell her that this will help you understand her.

    When you meet a kid, ask him “Hey — where did you get that wonderful shirt? I love it!”

    These may seem like weird conversation starters, but they really work! They have the ability to generate instant attraction.

    Instead of starting your presentation with something cliché like “The topic of my discussion will be global warming…” start with something that catches everyone’s attention in a single shot, like: “If you were on top of Mount Kilimanjaro 50 years back, you would have seen ice all around you. Right now, only 10 percent of that remains. As we speak, a large Glacier in Greenland is breaking off in parts and joining the waves of the North Atlantic. With these things in mind, I wish to talk about global warming today.”

    I have to address various mass audiences, and I find that it is actually quite easy to keep an audience glued to your words if you know how to create an impression and if you clearly have a hold on what you are saying.

    Remember: your first impression is a make-or-break deal. The audience is going to have a clear view etched in their subconscious mind about 10 to 30 seconds into seeing you, and they will try and hold on to that view for as long as they can.

    How can you assess yourself on the first impression you make?

    Here are a few things you can check to judge the the first impression you’ve made on your audience:

    • Are people laughing out loud or are they nodding their heads? This is a good sign.
    • Are they changing their posture to pay more attention to you, such as bending towards you and not looking around the room? If so, you’ve done quite well.
    • If they shift body positions, look down to indicate their discomfort, or they shift to a completely separate topic altogether, you’re not doing so well.

    The Endgame

    Needless to say, the impression you create can fall flat on the ground if you do not back it up with enough substance.

    There was a restaurant in my part of town. It was a huge place. There were several sections and it incorporated a wide array of cuisines from different parts of the world. If you walked into this place, you could literally walk into different stalls serving food from all over the globe.

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    This was a tremendous hit… for a few days. People were attracted to the idea and they flocked in by the hundreds to see how this worked. The ambiance was every bit as amazing as the concept.

    There was only one problem: the food was not great. The people who visited did not return for another meal. Soon, the place closed down.

    The fact is that people come to a restaurant because they want to eat. Food is the heart of a restaurant. The attraction or gimmick can bring people in, but it cannot keep them there.

    I have seen some really amazing couples in my day. These guys and girls were coveted by all, loved by everyone because they were remarkably attractive — not only because of their looks, but also because of their attitudes. We all thought they were meant to be together forever.

    However, the only couple who remained together after college was the one no one paid attention to. There was nothing remarkable about them except that they were with each other through thick and thin. It seems they had the soul of a true relationship. The heart of a relationship is in the bond that you share — that’s the endgame!

    In these and other countless examples, you can see that it’s easy to create the impression, to induce an attraction. You can impress anyone you want if you know the right methods. However, to stay for the long term, you need real stuff — to have substance. If you do not have substance to offer, your impression will fall flat on the ground in no time.

    If you start your seminar with a round of applause, you have done great to create a tremendous first impression. This attraction will help you a lot. Now, you have to follow it up with true substance so that at the end of your speech, when you are stepping down from the podium, the audience is equally mesmerized and clapping even harder.

    In the end, the true message is this: The start is very important, but no matter how well you start, what really matters in the long run is your endgame.

    Photo Credit: Twister at Sea by Captain D

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    Last Updated on October 30, 2018

    How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

    How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

    What is success to you? How to be successful in life?

    To some, when they think of success, they imagine wealth; others want power; some just want to make a positive impact on the world.

    All of these are perfectly valid, indeed success is a concept that means different things to different people. Though no matter what success is to you, it almost certainly isn’t something will come easily.

    There are countless guides and books to being successful, however, as success is personal and unique to each individual. The advice contained in these books can often not be relevant. Therefore following the advice of a single individual can often be unhelpful.

    With this in mind, considering the advice of a great many people, people whose ideas of success were different both to each other, and quite possibly, to you can be a good alternative.

    What follows is a list of thirteen of the best pieces of advice from some of the most successful people who have ever lived. If you want to learn how to be successful, these 13 tips are essential:

    1.Think big.

      From Michelangelo Buonarroti, Great Renaissance Artist:

      “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

      There are few artists as influential as Michaelangelo. Today centuries after his death, his work still inspires and connects to people. His work is world famous, just think of his statue of David, or the Mural in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican.

      Imagine then, if he decided not to work as an artist.

      Being a successful artist has always been extremely difficult, imagine if he decided to give up this ambition in favour of something easier?

      Oftentimes, people often decided to put their dreams aside for something more “realistic”. To give up their dream for something easier. This quote teaches us the danger of such a point of view.
      Instead be ambitious.

      2.Find what you love to do and do it.

        From Oprah Winfrey, Media Mogul:

        “You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it.”

        This is a good quote to remember and think about when you’re at work.

        Imagine being as successful as possible in your current job. Ultimately you’ll probably find yourself working extremely hard and this it will take up much of your time.

        If it’s a job you hate, then being successful at it might only mean filling your life with something you hate to do. What’s the sense in this?

        Instead, why not focus on doing something you love? When you’ve found what you’re passionate about, you get the motivation to keep you moving. Success at this means the fulfilment of your dreams.

        Not sure what your passion is yet? You should learn about this Motivation Engine first.

        Even if you’re not successful, you still filled your time with something you love to do. Many successful musicians spent years of their lives doing unpaid performances, the only reason they kept playing was because they loved to perform.

        3. Learn how to balance life.

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          From Phil Knight, CEO of Nike Inc.:

          “There is an immutable conflict at work in life and in business, a constant battle between peace and chaos. Neither can be mastered, but both can be influenced. How you go about that is the key to success.”

          All too often, people think that to be successful, they need to make the object of their success their life.

          If a person thinks their job will lead them to success, then they may spend countless hours per day, and well into the evening working hard.

          However this comes at the cost of rest, your health and having an enjoyable life. Ultimately they may burn out and cease to be successful at their job anyway.

          If success comes from having a strong social life and a good group of friends, their job may suffer; meaning that they may lose their job, and then be unable to afford going out with friends.

          In these ways, success, as Phil Knight says above, is helped by balance. Think of it as a balance between rest and work, or work and play.

          To achieve that balance, this Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life can help you.

          4. Do not be afraid of failure.

            From Henry Ford, Founder of Ford Motors:

            “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

            There is a story, it’s unconfirmed whether it actually happened, yet the message within is none the less true:

            Thomas Edison inventing the lightbulb was the result of several hundred failed attempts. In an interview, he was asked “How do you feel after all of your failed attempts?”

            His response was great, “I didn’t fail, I learned hundreds of ways not to invent the lightbulb”

            He saw each “failure” as a lesson. From that lesson he learned what won’t work, and also might work instead.

            Each failed attempt, each rejection, were key steps on his path to success. It is easy to feel like you should give up after a failure. But perhaps in that failure is a lesson.

            Pay attention to your failures, study them. Perhaps then you’ll learn how to succeed.

            5. Have an unwavering resolution to succeed.

              From Colonel Sanders, Founder of KFC:

              “I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours, nor amount of labor, nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me. And I have done that ever since, and I win by it. I know.”

              This, in many ways relates to the above quote about learning from your failures.

              It’s the easiest thing in the world to give up from a failure. The only way to push on is if you have the true burning desire to succeed, to not be moved or dissuaded from your goals.

              If you are not truly dedicated towards success, then each failure will hurt more, each set back will slow you down.

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              Success is hard; without the unwavering desire to succeed, this difficulty may seem insurmountable. With the desire, it is merely an obstacle to go through.

              6. Be a person of action.

                From Leonardo da Vinci, Renaissance Genius:

                “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

                Though it was said hundreds of years ago, it works just as much today as it ever had. It applies to literally any successful person.

                Think about it, picture someone like William Shakespeare:

                When we think of the time he lived in, we think of the time in a way shaped by him. When we think of Renissance era Italy, we think of Michaelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci.

                Or think about the present day:

                Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Our current way of life would simply be incomparably different if they didn’t accomplish what they did.

                You’re probably reading this article on a device by a company that they either founded or companies influenced by them.

                All these figures were proactive, they saw ways to do things differently and did them. If they let the world shape them, then they’d simply fit into the background. Instead they shaped the world.

                Applying this to you?

                Don’t be afraid of going outside the norm. If you can think of a better way to do something, do it that way. If you fail, try again.

                7. Avoid conflicts.

                  From Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of America: “

                  The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”

                  The best leaders and some of the most influential people (and Theodore Roosevelt is one of the best leaders and one of the most influential people to have lived) were not those who caused commotions, who fought with people or disregarded people; but were people who were friendly to those around them.

                  People liked them. They wanted them to do well.

                  This is key to good leadership.

                  It’s logical. If someone likes you, they want to help you; if you give them a suggestion, they’ll gladly follow through with it.

                  But if someone doesn’t like you, they may either refuse to help or actively get in your way.

                  What’s more, it’s always a good idea to cultivate good relationships. You can never tell who will prove to become someone who’ll be able to help you in a big way, or even be a good and supportive friend.

                  As such, help people and they may help you; and be good to people, and they my be good to you.

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                  8. Don’t be afraid of introducing new ideas.

                    From Mark Twain, Famed Author:

                    “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

                    It is an unfortunate truth that those with the boldest ideas are often disregarded.

                    Most of us are taught from an early age to think and do things similarly to everyone else. This can be great to fill an existing role. But to truly do things differently (and all successful people did things differently), you need to think differently.

                    If you have a new idea, don’t throw it away because it’s new and different; instead, celebrate it. Your strange new idea might one day be the one that leads you to success.

                    9. Believe in your capacity to succeed.

                      From Walter Disney, Founder of Walt Disney Company:

                      “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

                      Success has to be something you can imagine yourself achieving.

                      It is possible that you will come across those who doubt you and your ability to succeed. You must not become one of these people because the moment you cease believing and dreaming is the moment these dreams fall away.

                      Keep dreaming!

                      10. Always maintain a positive mental attitude.

                        From Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of America:

                        “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

                        Like the above quote says, you need to trust in your ability to succeed. This is the only way to cultivate the right mindset.

                        Replace negative thoughts with the positive ones. You need to approach problems, not as obstacles stopping you, but merely tasks that need to be completed for you to keep going.

                        If you stay positive and think like this, setbacks won’t affect you so much, people’s doubts won’t impact you and even the biggest obstacles will seem like minor problems.

                        However with the wrong mindset of doubt, you’ll be much easier to stop.

                        11. Don’t let discouragement stop you from pressing on.

                          From Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of America:

                          “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.”

                          It is an unfortunate fact of human nature — all of us in some way, doubt ourselves. This can be made far worse if others doubt us too.

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                          When surrounded by doubts, giving up can actually seem like a good idea.

                          Don’t pay attention to the doubts. If you are discouraged, ignore it.

                          If this discouragement moves into your mind and you begin to doubt yourself. It is important to ignore this too.

                          Take a look at these 5 Ways to Stop Self Doubt in its Tracks.

                          12. Be willing to work hard.

                            From JC Penny, Founder of JC Penney Inc.:

                            “Unless you are willing to drench yourself in your work beyond the capacity of the average man, you are just not cut out for positions at the top.”

                            You might have heard the quote that “success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration” or you may have heard about the 10,000 hours idea.

                            Whichever way you frame it, they say one thing:

                            True success comes from work.

                            You’ll never become successful if you don’t work towards your goal in life and keep working towards it.

                            Check out this article and you’ll understand Why Hard Work Beats Talent.

                            13. Be brave enough to follow your intuition.

                              From Steve Jobs, Co-founder of Apple Inc.:

                              “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

                              In ancient Greece, there was a group of Oracles who lived in Delphi. Everyone who needed advice or to know their future visited them, from the poorest of society to kings. Above the doorway of the temple were the words “know thyself”.

                              If you strongly believe and desire something, the chances are that you already have an idea how to get there. If not, you may naturally know what things will help you and what things will slow you down.

                              It’s like how your body can detect danger even when things seem safe.

                              Ultimately then, you need to trust your own instincts.

                              Final thoughts

                              What you might have noticed is that many of the above lessons are similar — most are about developing the right state of mind. This clearly suggests that the key to achieving success, in whatever you wish, comes down to the way you approach it mentally.

                              Moreover, no matter what stage of life you’re at now, you can still make a difference and pursue success. You can make resetting your life possible when you do this:

                              How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

                              More Recommended Lifehack Experts in Success

                              • Mandie Holgate — Successful life coach in the UK, helping businesses and individuals achieve greatness
                              • David Carpenter — Lifelong entrepreneur and business owner helping others to realize the American Dream of business ownership
                              • Ray Zinn — An inventor, entrepreneur, bestselling author and the longest serving CEO in Silicon Valley

                              Featured photo credit: Ryan Wong via unsplash.com

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