Sigmund Freud said people could be categorized by the bodily orifice which gave them most pleasure. If you didn’t already know that, you may be going “Wait, WHAT!?”
Sir Albert Einstein’s concepts of relativity were ridiculed by certain prominent universities who said his theory was more in the realm of art and imagination rather than science. He was really laughed at when he dared to challenge Newton’s theory and said light had a dual nature (wave particle duality).
Johnny Depp said in an interview that he does not like to watch his movies. He said: “It’s my job to be behind the camera and give my best. And then… there’s that guy out there!!” He said he has not watched any of his own movies!
I know a celebrity singer, composer, and lyricist who says: “Love is nothing but a game of logic, it’s all in the pituitary gland, It’s a game where everyone wants to win!“
You may have your opinions on the people above. You may hate them or you may love them. But one thing is for sure: you cannot ignore them.
They are what I will call the “Divergents” of our society, as opposed to the many “Conformists” we have around us. They shock us with their concepts, their actions, and their attitudes.
It’s not always a good thing, but it always attracts attention!
I know a girl who fell in love with a guy the first time he spoke to her.
He never thought about approaching her because she was somehow always “way out of his league” — or so he thought. He drew a remarkable pencil sketch of the girl just to be able to talk to her one day. Well, he did talk to her, and she could not help but resist that gesture.
For time immemorial, people have felt that enormous inherent attraction towards wonderful weirdness, towards divergence, towards things that do not seem normal.
If I told you that Thailand is a beautiful place, you would probably think of going for a visit one day. However, if I said that Thailand has a monk who died 300 years ago and his body has still not decayed, that it’s a place where men and tigers have learned to live together, you would think “Really? I must go see that right now!”
If I told you that anger is a bad emotion, you would say “Yeah, I agree.” On the other hand, if I said that “Anger can be extremely productive for you,” You would say “Wait a minute — how?”
People with ways of thinking that do not match up with the crowd become incredibly attractive. They stand out.
You cannot help but be interested. You find yourself wondering “What is he like? Why does he think that way?”
This curiosity makes you want to know them more, to stick around, to go deeper.
Desire for the forbidden
“Even the sweetest meat will seem nauseating if served on a full belly, you need to wait till they ask for it.” — Socrates.
In an experiment in the United States, it was shown that cookies taken from a jar which has only two cookies in it seem to taste more delicious than when taken from a jar full of cookies.
This and other experiments have proven over time that things which are scarcely available or extinct seem more desirable — regardless of their usefulness. Think of the online gimmicks telling you: “Last day of sale!” or “Grab yours before it goes out of stock!” They poke your interest by creating a want in your mind that is due to scarcity. Even if you don’t actually want it, you are forced to think: “I’d better grab it before someone else does!”
Most of us are attracted to the forbidden, the mysterious, the scarcely available, even if subconsciously. People who are divergent seem somehow mysterious. Some admit it, others don’t, and some do not realize this. But the attraction is real.
The point is that having a mysterious exterior can make you immensely attractive. Even a twister, no matter how bad it really is, can seem attractive from a distance.
How to use this law of attraction
So, is this just a lecture on psychology or is it useful information? We need to know what’s in it for us!
Well, I am a sailor. As a group, we usually do not deal in useless theories. So, how do you use this concept to your advantage?
This is one of the lesser-known secrets, and it can give you a fresh start to your life. If you understand how we are subconsciously attracted to that madness, the attraction behind that weirdness which we apparently keep getting amazed or maybe even annoyed by, you can use this to change your world.
How do you start a conversation? The classic “How do you do?” with a handshake and a shoulder shrug for an adult and the even more cliché “Hey, what’s your name?” for a kid?
This time, try things differently.
I once started a conversation with a girl by saying “Let’s talk about love is a great album! Have you heard of it? Celine Dion is simply awesome!” I was told later that this unusual introduction made me highly attractive.
Meeting a girl for a brief moment and need to create an impression? Ask her which chocolate she likes. Tell her that this will help you understand her.
When you meet a kid, ask him “Hey — where did you get that wonderful shirt? I love it!”
These may seem like weird conversation starters, but they really work! They have the ability to generate instant attraction.
Instead of starting your presentation with something cliché like “The topic of my discussion will be global warming…” start with something that catches everyone’s attention in a single shot, like: “If you were on top of Mount Kilimanjaro 50 years back, you would have seen ice all around you. Right now, only 10 percent of that remains. As we speak, a large Glacier in Greenland is breaking off in parts and joining the waves of the North Atlantic. With these things in mind, I wish to talk about global warming today.”
I have to address various mass audiences, and I find that it is actually quite easy to keep an audience glued to your words if you know how to create an impression and if you clearly have a hold on what you are saying.
Remember: your first impression is a make-or-break deal. The audience is going to have a clear view etched in their subconscious mind about 10 to 30 seconds into seeing you, and they will try and hold on to that view for as long as they can.
How can you assess yourself on the first impression you make?
Here are a few things you can check to judge the the first impression you’ve made on your audience:
- Are people laughing out loud or are they nodding their heads? This is a good sign.
- Are they changing their posture to pay more attention to you, such as bending towards you and not looking around the room? If so, you’ve done quite well.
- If they shift body positions, look down to indicate their discomfort, or they shift to a completely separate topic altogether, you’re not doing so well.
Needless to say, the impression you create can fall flat on the ground if you do not back it up with enough substance.
There was a restaurant in my part of town. It was a huge place. There were several sections and it incorporated a wide array of cuisines from different parts of the world. If you walked into this place, you could literally walk into different stalls serving food from all over the globe.
This was a tremendous hit… for a few days. People were attracted to the idea and they flocked in by the hundreds to see how this worked. The ambiance was every bit as amazing as the concept.
There was only one problem: the food was not great. The people who visited did not return for another meal. Soon, the place closed down.
The fact is that people come to a restaurant because they want to eat. Food is the heart of a restaurant. The attraction or gimmick can bring people in, but it cannot keep them there.
I have seen some really amazing couples in my day. These guys and girls were coveted by all, loved by everyone because they were remarkably attractive — not only because of their looks, but also because of their attitudes. We all thought they were meant to be together forever.
However, the only couple who remained together after college was the one no one paid attention to. There was nothing remarkable about them except that they were with each other through thick and thin. It seems they had the soul of a true relationship. The heart of a relationship is in the bond that you share — that’s the endgame!
In these and other countless examples, you can see that it’s easy to create the impression, to induce an attraction. You can impress anyone you want if you know the right methods. However, to stay for the long term, you need real stuff — to have substance. If you do not have substance to offer, your impression will fall flat on the ground in no time.
If you start your seminar with a round of applause, you have done great to create a tremendous first impression. This attraction will help you a lot. Now, you have to follow it up with true substance so that at the end of your speech, when you are stepping down from the podium, the audience is equally mesmerized and clapping even harder.
In the end, the true message is this: The start is very important, but no matter how well you start, what really matters in the long run is your endgame.
Photo Credit: Twister at Sea by Captain D