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Divergence: An Amazing Law Of Attraction

Divergence: An Amazing Law Of Attraction

Sigmund Freud said people could be categorized by the bodily orifice which gave them most pleasure. If you didn’t already know that, you may be going “Wait, WHAT!?”

Sir Albert Einstein’s concepts of relativity were ridiculed by certain prominent universities who said his theory was more in the realm of art and imagination rather than science. He was really laughed at when he dared to challenge Newton’s theory and said light had a dual nature (wave particle duality).

Johnny Depp said in an interview that he does not like to watch his movies. He said: “It’s my job to be behind the camera and give my best. And then… there’s that guy out there!!” He said he has not watched any of his own movies!

I know a celebrity singer, composer, and lyricist who says: “Love is nothing but a game of logic, it’s all in the pituitary gland, It’s a game where everyone wants to win!“

You may have your opinions on the people above. You may hate them or you may love them. But one thing is for sure: you cannot ignore them.

They are what I will call the “Divergents” of our society, as opposed to the many “Conformists” we have around us. They shock us with their concepts, their actions, and their attitudes.

It’s not always a good thing, but it always attracts attention!

The Attraction

I know a girl who fell in love with a guy the first time he spoke to her.

He never thought about approaching her because she was somehow always “way out of his league” — or so he thought. He drew a remarkable pencil sketch of the girl just to be able to talk to her one day. Well, he did talk to her, and she could not help but resist that gesture.

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For time immemorial, people have felt that enormous inherent attraction towards wonderful weirdness, towards divergence, towards things that do not seem normal.

If I told you that Thailand is a beautiful place, you would probably think of going for a visit one day. However, if I said that Thailand has a monk who died 300 years ago and his body has still not decayed, that it’s a place where men and tigers have learned to live together, you would think “Really? I must go see that right now!”

If I told you that anger is a bad emotion, you would say “Yeah, I agree.” On the other hand, if I said that “Anger can be extremely productive for you,” You would say “Wait a minute — how?”

People with ways of thinking that do not match up with the crowd become incredibly attractive. They stand out.

You cannot help but be interested. You find yourself wondering “What is he like? Why does he think that way?”

This curiosity makes you want to know them more, to stick around, to go deeper.

Desire for the forbidden

“Even the sweetest meat will seem nauseating if served on a full belly, you need to wait till they ask for it.” — Socrates.

In an experiment in the United States, it was shown that cookies taken from a jar which has only two cookies in it seem to taste more delicious than when taken from a jar full of cookies.

This and other experiments have proven over time that things which are scarcely available or extinct seem more desirable — regardless of their usefulness. Think of the online gimmicks telling you: “Last day of sale!” or “Grab yours before it goes out of stock!” They poke your interest by creating a want in your mind that is due to scarcity. Even if you don’t actually want it, you are forced to think: “I’d better grab it before someone else does!”

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Most of us are attracted to the forbidden, the mysterious, the scarcely available, even if subconsciously. People who are divergent seem somehow mysterious. Some admit it, others don’t, and some do not realize this. But the attraction is real.

The point is that having a mysterious exterior can make you immensely attractive. Even a twister, no matter how bad it really is, can seem attractive from a distance.

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    How to use this law of attraction

    So, is this just a lecture on psychology or is it useful information? We need to know what’s in it for us!

    Well, I am a sailor. As a group, we usually do not deal in useless theories. So, how do you use this concept to your advantage?

    This is one of the lesser-known secrets, and it can give you a fresh start to your life. If you understand how we are subconsciously attracted to that madness, the attraction behind that weirdness which we apparently keep getting amazed or maybe even annoyed by, you can use this to change your world.

    How do you start a conversation? The classic “How do you do?” with a handshake and a shoulder shrug for an adult and the even more cliché “Hey, what’s your name?” for a kid?

    This time, try things differently.

    I once started a conversation with a girl by saying “Let’s talk about love is a great album! Have you heard of it? Celine Dion is simply awesome!” I was told later that this unusual introduction made me highly attractive.

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    Meeting a girl for a brief moment and need to create an impression? Ask her which chocolate she likes. Tell her that this will help you understand her.

    When you meet a kid, ask him “Hey — where did you get that wonderful shirt? I love it!”

    These may seem like weird conversation starters, but they really work! They have the ability to generate instant attraction.

    Instead of starting your presentation with something cliché like “The topic of my discussion will be global warming…” start with something that catches everyone’s attention in a single shot, like: “If you were on top of Mount Kilimanjaro 50 years back, you would have seen ice all around you. Right now, only 10 percent of that remains. As we speak, a large Glacier in Greenland is breaking off in parts and joining the waves of the North Atlantic. With these things in mind, I wish to talk about global warming today.”

    I have to address various mass audiences, and I find that it is actually quite easy to keep an audience glued to your words if you know how to create an impression and if you clearly have a hold on what you are saying.

    Remember: your first impression is a make-or-break deal. The audience is going to have a clear view etched in their subconscious mind about 10 to 30 seconds into seeing you, and they will try and hold on to that view for as long as they can.

    How can you assess yourself on the first impression you make?

    Here are a few things you can check to judge the the first impression you’ve made on your audience:

    • Are people laughing out loud or are they nodding their heads? This is a good sign.
    • Are they changing their posture to pay more attention to you, such as bending towards you and not looking around the room? If so, you’ve done quite well.
    • If they shift body positions, look down to indicate their discomfort, or they shift to a completely separate topic altogether, you’re not doing so well.

    The Endgame

    Needless to say, the impression you create can fall flat on the ground if you do not back it up with enough substance.

    There was a restaurant in my part of town. It was a huge place. There were several sections and it incorporated a wide array of cuisines from different parts of the world. If you walked into this place, you could literally walk into different stalls serving food from all over the globe.

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    This was a tremendous hit… for a few days. People were attracted to the idea and they flocked in by the hundreds to see how this worked. The ambiance was every bit as amazing as the concept.

    There was only one problem: the food was not great. The people who visited did not return for another meal. Soon, the place closed down.

    The fact is that people come to a restaurant because they want to eat. Food is the heart of a restaurant. The attraction or gimmick can bring people in, but it cannot keep them there.

    I have seen some really amazing couples in my day. These guys and girls were coveted by all, loved by everyone because they were remarkably attractive — not only because of their looks, but also because of their attitudes. We all thought they were meant to be together forever.

    However, the only couple who remained together after college was the one no one paid attention to. There was nothing remarkable about them except that they were with each other through thick and thin. It seems they had the soul of a true relationship. The heart of a relationship is in the bond that you share — that’s the endgame!

    In these and other countless examples, you can see that it’s easy to create the impression, to induce an attraction. You can impress anyone you want if you know the right methods. However, to stay for the long term, you need real stuff — to have substance. If you do not have substance to offer, your impression will fall flat on the ground in no time.

    If you start your seminar with a round of applause, you have done great to create a tremendous first impression. This attraction will help you a lot. Now, you have to follow it up with true substance so that at the end of your speech, when you are stepping down from the podium, the audience is equally mesmerized and clapping even harder.

    In the end, the true message is this: The start is very important, but no matter how well you start, what really matters in the long run is your endgame.

    Photo Credit: Twister at Sea by Captain D

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    Last Updated on January 17, 2019

    8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

    8 Simple Mindfulness Exercises to Bring Peace and Happiness to Your Life

    In life, we all need to be conscientious of what we are doing. You don’t need to live a life of stress if you don’t want to. You can achieve peace and happiness in life by carefully building mindfulness exercises into your life’s routine.

    Exercising mindfulness isn’t rocket science and as importantly, you can do it. It will, however, take a few tries to get into the groove of things but once you get it, it is like riding a bike, you will never lose it.

    Trust me. It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. In this article, I will share with you 8 mindfulness exercises that will help you to boost your energy, vitality and live a more peaceful and happier life.

    Why Is It Hard to Live A Peaceful And Happy Life?

    Our Habitat Has Become Too Technological

    The world has accepted the idea that technology is often the cure for all evil. We have accepted, as a society, that everything technological will make us live a better life without fully investigating the many side effects that modernity brings.

    There are a number of technological side effects that have a tremendous impact on your life that the media rarely tells you about.[1] Some of them include self-harm, economic inequality, having less sex, and even suicide. The global community is becoming less happy because of technology.

    How can anybody live a peaceful and happy life when they are depressed? Technology advancements, ladies and gents, is a major reason for why we are living a poor life because it has infiltrated our lives too much.

    According to my research, Americans spend an average of 8 hours a day looking at the computer screen — The average screen time spent on smartphones alone is about 20 hours per week. That’s a lot! No wonder why living a happy and peaceful life is so difficult these days.

    Too Many People Don’t Want to Unplug

    Americans check their phones an average of 80 times during vacation.[2] Some admit to checking their smartphones 300 times every single day. In countries like Brazil, India and China, the situation is no different.

    The reality is that people are constantly plugged into technological devices and this behavior is literally making people all over the globe fight an inner war with themselves, which consequently makes them very sad. As we know, war is the enemy of peace which won’t make anybody happy.

    Listen carefully:

    We have a global anxiety epidemic because people don’t want to unplug from their smartphones and most people aren’t doing anything to fix it. It is a sad state of affairs but very real. This obsession with technology is turning us into perishable robots who live terrible lives.

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    The era of anxiety is here to stay. There is little doubt about it. We can, however, fight back with the best remedy of all — We call it mindfulness!

    Thank God there is an antidote to this whole technological madness. Without further ado, let’s go straight to the mindful exercises.

    8 Mindfulness Exercises to Start Practicing

    There are tons of mindfulness exercises available for you to engage with out there.[3] In the paragraphs below, I will include the best ones I’ve personally tried or have seen my close friends and family members try.

    Are you ready for it? Let’s go!

    1. Pray Daily

    You should pray on a daily basis. Why is that you may ask — Well, because science has told us to do so.

    When people pray, they feel peaceful, almost eliminating anxiety. Worries become secondary, and often gives people energy and hope to cope with the difficulties of life.

    Prayer can make you more confident and focused. Prayer also helps you with self-control, helps to control pain, and can protect you against illnesses and disorders like cancer and high blood pressure. At least, this is what researchers from Harvard Medical School have said.[4]

    Pray. You won’t regret it.[5]

    2. Pay Attention to Your Inner Thoughts

    A lot of people allow themselves to be influenced by their negative thoughts. Be different and resist believing in them. It is a bad habit that can lead to unhappiness.

    By the way, if you do feel this way, chances are high that somebody other than you put these thoughts into your head.

    Here is my secret to combat this cancer — look at things objectively. I bet that if you look at things as they are, you will realize that most if not all of your negative thoughts are only inside of your head.

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    If you pay close attention, you will quickly realize that these voices aren’t worth your time. Believe me — Ignoring them and looking at things with objectivity is often the best course of action.

    This article can guide you to beat negative thoughts:

    How to Stop Automatic Negative Thoughts When You’re Overwhelmed

    3. Smile Often

    Smiling will slow down your heart. It will also relax your body because when you smile, your body releases endorphins which in itself has a number of positive benefits for you as a person.

    Smile often! You may want to smile early in the morning, during the day, and late in the evening. It is amazing what happens to you when you decide to smile instead of being grumpy.

    Surrender your problems to a nice smile. You will notice two things. First, most people just don’t which makes them live a miserable life. Second, if you decide to smile often, you will eventually smile unconsciously which is the ideal.

    The moment that you smile unconsciously, you then know that you are truly happy.

    4. Organize Your Working Desk

    A messy desk will make you less productive and can agitate and overstimulate you. You don’t want that.

    When you clear your desk, you engage in deep inner-thinking and your systematic decision making ends up becoming therapeutic.

    Most people realize that they are most creative when their creative space is clean and organized. The former often makes people more aware of what they are doing which lends to less stress and more productivity.

    Organizing your desk will also make you more energetic and focused because order often decreases chaos which is a condition that often slows down daily progress.

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    5. Celebrate Your Friend’s Victories

    I love this mindful exercise. One of the best ways to live a happy and peaceful life is to celebrate the victories of others. When you do that, you automatically make your friends in a better mood which makes you in a better mood, as well.

    Happiness is contagious! We might as well celebrate others as much as we can. If you find out that your peer has won an award, celebrate with him! If your friend is the recipient of a local charity award, celebrate with her!

    What is also awesome is that when you celebrate with others, they often celebrate with you in return. This, ladies and gentleman, will make you feel fantastic. You can’t go wrong with this one, period.

    6. Listen to Your Spouse/Partner

    God put someone in your life for a reason. You might as well listen to him or her.

    I listen to my wife everyday. In fact, I often ask the following question to her, “Amanda, what are your thoughts about…” or “What am I missing about…” It is shocking what I hear back from her. Without her having much context and perspective, by the art of observation in my own nonverbal behavior and the behavior of others, she accurately gives me incredible insights which helps me out with living my life to the fullest.

    I’m a firm believer that spouses are supposed to engage in interpersonal communication every day. I most definitely do and will continue doing it. You should do the same.

    7. Give Yourself a Break from Technology

    You can’t be in total equilibrium if your computerized devices control your life. You must get away from technology on a daily basis.[6]

    How do you do that? This is my formula:

    First, take this smartphone control test. It is only ten questions but this test will place you somewhere in the human robot cycle continuum.

    If your score is between 25-30, take a break from the computer (or smartphone, pad, laptop/desktop) every twenty minutes and stop being on a computerized device after 8:00pm.

    If you score between 30-35, still take a break every 20 minutes but stop being on these devices at 5:00pm.

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    If you score more than 35, you need to take action immediately.

    Limit computer use as much as possible throughout the day. Give yourself as many breaks from the computer as possible. Are you ready for the challenge?

    8. Go Exercise

    Go exercise at least three times a week. I don’t care if you need to workout early in the morning, late in the evening, on the weekends or during work days. Working out is absolutely imperative for you to live happy and peaceful life.

    The stresses of the modern world are too much for you to neglect this important mindfulness exercise. When you go to the gym, you burn calories, focus on activities one step at a time, your mind relaxes, anxiety decreases, you sweat and often think about topics unrelated to your work place among many other benefits.

    You must exercise at least three hours each week for optimum results. Why? Just take a look at all the benefits of regular exercising:

    12 Benefits of Regular Exercise You Should Know

    The Bottom Line

    It’s in your best interest to learn and put these mindfulness exercises into practice. Now that our habitat has become too technological and many people just don’t want to unplug, engaging in daily prayer, celebrate your friends’ victories, and listening to your spouse are among the best ways to be mindful about what you are doing and how you are living.

    It is possible to live a happy and peaceful life. It only depends on you.

    Go exercise! Take a break from technology and invest in you! Life is too short for distractions.

    More Resources About Mindfulness

    Featured photo credit: Lesly Juarez via unsplash.com

    Reference

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