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Why You Don’t Have To Aim At Being Mentally Strong

Why You Don’t Have To Aim At Being Mentally Strong

I was mindlessly playing Madden 25 and listening to music when I heard a unique line come bursting through my headphones, “Nothing wrong with not being strong. Nothing says we have to beat what’s wrong.” There I was, a young 21 year old just over indulging in video games during holiday break at college and that line (and song and album) left me dumbfounded.

For a length of unknown time — probably my whole life — people had been explaining to me that I had to be mentally strong and if anything, pretend that I was not whatever I was. What was I? A bit anxious and depressive, yet working through it. What was I portraying? Nothing is wrong, don’t ask, and I am a normal human being. However, thanks to a man by the stage name of El-P, my mental strength was able to grow without forcing myself to have to be mentally strong.

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It’s like this: if an individual is too short to dunk in basketball, why shape them into a player that would try and dunk? Of course, they will need to work with their own set of individual skills that they have to improve their game and make them a force to be reckoned with. That might not be the best analogy, but the mind kind of works in the same light. If you are not mentally strong (don’t worry I am not either) then do not force yourself to pretend to be for the sake of someone else’s words around you. There is no fun in pretending to be someone else, and there is no worthwhile value in that. It is more beneficial to learn how to work with your own mind, specifically.

Let’s say you have the gift (and curse) of having a rather anxious mind. You quickly jump to the worst case scenario and constrict yourself in social situations. You start feeling the collapse in your lungs whenever crowds of people are around, even if they are just passing. It’s okay to be overwhelmed if you have these issues, trying to force yourself to be strong might cause your mind to overreact and turn in on itself. Instead, work with it. If you need to step away for a bit and find personal solace, do it. If you feel the need to mindlessly scroll through social media just to calm the nerves? Sure, it’s an option.

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It’s important to establish a safety net to catch yourself when you are let down or hampered by your will power not being strong enough. Maybe you can message an individual a wordy explanation as to what is happening in your head. You may be showcasing that you are not mentally strong and leaving yourself vulnerable, but if you have already accepted that than your friends will as well. They will work with you without judgement and you shouldn’t have to worry about what they think.

Figuring out how to portray your own mind might sound difficult, but in reality, forcing yourself to live your life as a character is rather tough as well. It’s cold and vitriolic and you will find yourself alienated from the true you, which is worse than having to accept the way your mind is, so it’s safer to collect your presence and share it with the world.

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Last fall, I decided to stop this macho performance I had been putting on display and instead really center myself around my emotional out-pour and start accepting my mind for what it was. I was there, in the mental ditch, after pretending to be strong for so long. It’s like when you are on a long drive and people recommend you to pull over and find a rest area for a bit if you need to. There’s no need to put yourself in a more dangerous arena by attempting to drive when you are weak.

There was a third bit to that lyric from earlier that I saved because I thought it would help wrap my ideas into a nice bow to end this article. “Nothing manmade remains made long.” Think about it, the world around us is not as permanent as we think. Things rot, structure-wise, decaying over the years, so within this world it’s more important if you are out there finding your value and accepting yourself for what you are.

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Make your mark on the world, and maybe a mentally strong mind will not be an issue anymore. I know my head well enough to have forgotten that and instead focus on pursuing what my heart and mind are passionate about.

Featured photo credit: greyerbaby via cdn.morguefile.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

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