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10 Tips On Making Online Dating Work For You

10 Tips On Making Online Dating Work For You

We live in an era where virtually everything happens online. From shopping to studying, to even dating. Online dating has been around for quite some time now and there’s a good chance that you’ve tried it at some point of your life.

The thing about online dating is, it seems to work so well for some, but not so much for others. If you really think about it, that really is true for any kind of dating. There are a few things you can do to completely change your online profile. Here are some tips on how to make these changes and make online dating work for you.

1. Be honest.

One of the most important things you need to make sure is that you are being honest about everything you say about yourself in your online profile. Most people can spot a lie when they see one, and believe me, if you feel the need to lie about something, they’ll find other inconsistencies that will soon reveal your lie.

And even if they don’t immediately, they will eventually. And trust me when I say this, there is no better way to damage someone’s impression of you than holding on to a lie. So if you want more action, just being honest could be a start.

2. Be authentic.

Nothing repels people more than unauthentic people; even the ones that are unauthentic themselves want an authentic partner. So you need to keep this in mind while building your profile. And don’t worry, we all have things to put in our profiles that can demonstrate that we are authentic.

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It doesn’t have to be something like “love climbing Everest every summer” or “love traveling to other planets”. Authentic living is a lifestyle, not a list of accomplishments. The things you really love are the things that make you stand out as authentic. So avoid following the herd, and just be yourself.

3. Avoid clichés.

“Long romantic walks on the beach.” Ugh. Clichés are the worst. We live in an era where inauthentic people have a serious shot at seeming authentic simply by copying other people they observe on TV, the movies or the internet. And that’s where clichés are born.

If there’s only one thing you can do from this list, make it this. If it is someone boring you’re looking for, clichés could work. Sometimes. But I’m guessing you’re someone who has a better self-image, because why else would you be on Lifehack? Just be yourself. You’re awesome, trust me.

4. Be specific.

Don’t be that guy who “likes doing stuff” or “likes to chill” or “likes hanging out”. Sure everybody loves doing stuff, or hanging out, but listing unspecific interests such as these may not be a great way to convince someone to do those things with you.

And there is nobody here among us who hasn’t at least a few specific interests or experiences they can list. Love feeding ducks at the park on Sundays? Why be embarrassed about it?

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If a meaningful relationship is what you crave, trust me, you are more likely to find that through meeting someone who would love to feed those ducks with you than through meeting someone to just “hang out” with.

5. List sociable hobbies.

One thing you should know about everyone who has an online profile like you is that they crave socialization. I mean, think about it. Why else would anyone be there? Anyone pretending otherwise is a phony, and you should keep away from those people.

Anyway, make sure you list a lot of sociable hobbies. Make sure, you include more items like “travelling and meeting new people”, “going to the movies” etc. and less items like “worshiping the devil”. Hey I’m not one to judge, I’m just trying to help make online dating work for you.

6. Keep everything short and sweet.

Don’t over evaluate. Keep it short. Keep it sweet. Anyone who likes your profile picture and wants to learn more about you should be able to do so in a glance. And if you have a 1000 word personal history up there, most of them are going to pass on you.

Because that’s all you are to them at that point, another passable candidate. To make sure you stand out and don’t get passed on, make sure all your written descriptions are short. But just being short won’t do, you need to find that magical combination of words that are both short and sweet.

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7. Choose a good photo.

I cannot emphasize this enough. And as shallow as it may sound, appearances do matter, especially in your online profile with which you’ve intended to impress a complete stranger. So choose the right dating profile picture.

And maybe you’re incredibly insecure about your appearances, which is why you’ve decided to go with that blurry photo from three years ago. But trust me. That might have worked in junior high, but no adult is going to pick someone with a blurry photo of them throwing a gang sign. So just be confident, take a good shot, and put it up. It’ll work like a charm.

8. Proofread.

Make sure you proofread everything you decide to put in your profile. It’s not like you’re going to get a second chance from a complete stranger. Anything from a typo to bad grammar choices or perhaps just too much detail can turn a stranger away.

They’re a strange lot, these strangers. Incredibly hard to impress, but should you follow some of these tricks, potentially just as easy to impress. So make sure your profile, whatever you’ve put in it, is spotless.

9. Update your profile regularly.

If you want to stay in the game, you need to update that profile of yours regularly. Change the photo every time you take one that looks better than the last. Just don’t go all narcissistic. Also update your hobbies and experiences regularly.

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Done something exciting lately? Why shouldn’t that be on your profile? I mean you are more likely to find someone through adding exciting new items to your profile regularly than you are otherwise. Just don’t get to that point where you’re skittish about not having updated it in the last 3 hours. Just keep it alive!

10. Respond quickly.

And finally, I can’t emphasize this enough. Respond as soon as you can! Check your account frequently, and reply to any interest you may have received. Do not play- I repeat- do not play hard to get. This person hardly knows you and doesn’t care yet if you’re the chosen one.

If they can’t reach you soon enough they’ll toss you away. So unless you’re really occupied with something far more important, don’t ignore messages or invites. It could be the love of your life that got away. That’s not a risk I would want to take.

Featured photo credit: Wikimedia via upload.wikimedia.org

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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