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10 Tips On Making Online Dating Work For You

10 Tips On Making Online Dating Work For You

We live in an era where virtually everything happens online. From shopping to studying, to even dating. Online dating has been around for quite some time now and there’s a good chance that you’ve tried it at some point of your life.

The thing about online dating is, it seems to work so well for some, but not so much for others. If you really think about it, that really is true for any kind of dating. There are a few things you can do to completely change your online profile. Here are some tips on how to make these changes and make online dating work for you.

1. Be honest.

One of the most important things you need to make sure is that you are being honest about everything you say about yourself in your online profile. Most people can spot a lie when they see one, and believe me, if you feel the need to lie about something, they’ll find other inconsistencies that will soon reveal your lie.

And even if they don’t immediately, they will eventually. And trust me when I say this, there is no better way to damage someone’s impression of you than holding on to a lie. So if you want more action, just being honest could be a start.

2. Be authentic.

Nothing repels people more than unauthentic people; even the ones that are unauthentic themselves want an authentic partner. So you need to keep this in mind while building your profile. And don’t worry, we all have things to put in our profiles that can demonstrate that we are authentic.

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It doesn’t have to be something like “love climbing Everest every summer” or “love traveling to other planets”. Authentic living is a lifestyle, not a list of accomplishments. The things you really love are the things that make you stand out as authentic. So avoid following the herd, and just be yourself.

3. Avoid clichés.

“Long romantic walks on the beach.” Ugh. Clichés are the worst. We live in an era where inauthentic people have a serious shot at seeming authentic simply by copying other people they observe on TV, the movies or the internet. And that’s where clichés are born.

If there’s only one thing you can do from this list, make it this. If it is someone boring you’re looking for, clichés could work. Sometimes. But I’m guessing you’re someone who has a better self-image, because why else would you be on Lifehack? Just be yourself. You’re awesome, trust me.

4. Be specific.

Don’t be that guy who “likes doing stuff” or “likes to chill” or “likes hanging out”. Sure everybody loves doing stuff, or hanging out, but listing unspecific interests such as these may not be a great way to convince someone to do those things with you.

And there is nobody here among us who hasn’t at least a few specific interests or experiences they can list. Love feeding ducks at the park on Sundays? Why be embarrassed about it?

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If a meaningful relationship is what you crave, trust me, you are more likely to find that through meeting someone who would love to feed those ducks with you than through meeting someone to just “hang out” with.

5. List sociable hobbies.

One thing you should know about everyone who has an online profile like you is that they crave socialization. I mean, think about it. Why else would anyone be there? Anyone pretending otherwise is a phony, and you should keep away from those people.

Anyway, make sure you list a lot of sociable hobbies. Make sure, you include more items like “travelling and meeting new people”, “going to the movies” etc. and less items like “worshiping the devil”. Hey I’m not one to judge, I’m just trying to help make online dating work for you.

6. Keep everything short and sweet.

Don’t over evaluate. Keep it short. Keep it sweet. Anyone who likes your profile picture and wants to learn more about you should be able to do so in a glance. And if you have a 1000 word personal history up there, most of them are going to pass on you.

Because that’s all you are to them at that point, another passable candidate. To make sure you stand out and don’t get passed on, make sure all your written descriptions are short. But just being short won’t do, you need to find that magical combination of words that are both short and sweet.

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7. Choose a good photo.

I cannot emphasize this enough. And as shallow as it may sound, appearances do matter, especially in your online profile with which you’ve intended to impress a complete stranger. So choose the right dating profile picture.

And maybe you’re incredibly insecure about your appearances, which is why you’ve decided to go with that blurry photo from three years ago. But trust me. That might have worked in junior high, but no adult is going to pick someone with a blurry photo of them throwing a gang sign. So just be confident, take a good shot, and put it up. It’ll work like a charm.

8. Proofread.

Make sure you proofread everything you decide to put in your profile. It’s not like you’re going to get a second chance from a complete stranger. Anything from a typo to bad grammar choices or perhaps just too much detail can turn a stranger away.

They’re a strange lot, these strangers. Incredibly hard to impress, but should you follow some of these tricks, potentially just as easy to impress. So make sure your profile, whatever you’ve put in it, is spotless.

9. Update your profile regularly.

If you want to stay in the game, you need to update that profile of yours regularly. Change the photo every time you take one that looks better than the last. Just don’t go all narcissistic. Also update your hobbies and experiences regularly.

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Done something exciting lately? Why shouldn’t that be on your profile? I mean you are more likely to find someone through adding exciting new items to your profile regularly than you are otherwise. Just don’t get to that point where you’re skittish about not having updated it in the last 3 hours. Just keep it alive!

10. Respond quickly.

And finally, I can’t emphasize this enough. Respond as soon as you can! Check your account frequently, and reply to any interest you may have received. Do not play- I repeat- do not play hard to get. This person hardly knows you and doesn’t care yet if you’re the chosen one.

If they can’t reach you soon enough they’ll toss you away. So unless you’re really occupied with something far more important, don’t ignore messages or invites. It could be the love of your life that got away. That’s not a risk I would want to take.

Featured photo credit: Wikimedia via upload.wikimedia.org

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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