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Why your Morning Shower should be FREEZING

Why your Morning Shower should be FREEZING

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! My 5:30 AM alarm greets me to a new day. I lift my head from my cushioned pillow, slide off my comfy mattress, and drag my feet through my carpeted floors. I turn off ceiling fan cools down the hot nights and proceed to my bathroom, complete with temperature controlled running water and even a toilet seat cushion. Everything is exactly how I want it…and that’s the problem.

The advances in technology we enjoy today have undoubtedly made our lives better, but we’ve forgotten what it’s like to experience discomfort. It’s too hot? Turn on the A/C. Water’s too cold? Adjust the faucet knob. Heck, we even take average experiences and make them feel great. Your car seat is only normal? Take a heated seat and your butt will feel AMAZING. Discomfort has become foreign to us. We reject anything less than total luxury, but that standard makes us exceedingly risk averse and miss out on HUGE opportunities day after day.

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Why Risk Taking is Important:

People denounce risky behavior. They insist you should “play it safe” or “take the sure path.” That’s bull. Research by behavioral economists Matthias Brachert and Walter Hyll shows that those with a high tolerance of risk create better businesses.

“The results show that entrepreneurs with low risk tolerance before entering self-employment and increased risk tolerance when self-employed have a higher probability of survival than similar entrepreneurs experiencing a decrease in the willingness to take risks.”

Even more, successful entrepreneurs learn to grow more comfortable with risk. Remember, this isn’t a licence to max out your credit cards and buy lottery tickets. Just practice making decisions you’re not 100% comfortable with. What keeps most people from experiencing the benefits taking chances affords? Discomfort. That feeling of anxiety in your chest right before you ask your boss for a raise, or ask that cute girl out. Our cushioned, heated, 100% comfort lives have programmed us to flee this feeling and never take the chances necessary to get ahead. Luckily I have an exercise that’ll teach you to overcome your discomfort avoidance system and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Take Cold Showers:

A cold shower in the morning is the perfect habit to train yourself to gamble more often. Overcoming the intense anxiety of stepping into the shower when you know the water is FREEZING completely breaks the endless cycle of comfort. It’s not so much the shower itself (though there are many benefits to bathing in cold water) but the mental process you go through BEFORE the shower. You feel the anxiety. You feel the discomfort. You flinched when you put your arm in the water. Thoughts of quitting enter your mind. There’s always tomorrow morning right? You’ll be more ready then. No. You quell those thoughts and you get in. You faced the fear and discomfort and pushed through anyway. That’s what makes it effective.

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When I started this habit early in January, it took me thirty minutes (yes a whole half hour!) to get in the shower. Now I enter in mere moments. And the benefits? I feel almost zero stress, have become more outgoing socially (as a staunch introvert) and have created countless opportunities for myself from risks I’ve taken that have worked out in my favor (I’m writing for Lifehack as a high school senior). Interested in trying for yourself? Ahead are some strategies that helped when I started.

Pro Tips for Cold Showers:

  1. Just Jump In: Thinking about the coldness will just give you time to think of reasons not to go. Don’t waste 30 minutes of your life like I did in the beginning. Don’t give yourself time to think. Pull the curtain back and run in.
  2. Ease Into It: Start showering with hot water then switch to cold water after a few seconds. I noticed that I was less resistant to the cold water once I was already wet and feeling good. Use this if you’re really struggling.
  3. Sing a Song: Sounds crazy but singing helps keep your mind off of the freezing water. Again, your brain will only come up with reasons to stop if you allow it to fixate on the discomfort. Pick a song in the shower that you enjoy and know all the words to and sing it all the way through. You (almost) forget and feel like you’re taking a normal shower. Good Morning from Singin’ In the Rain was a lifesaver during my first few showers

Whether you prefer to dive in headfirst or sing a song as you go makes no difference. It’s stepping into the shower, ignoring the initial fear and trepidation, and owning the discomfort that works in your favor. When you master the fear that stems from discomfort you knock down the cell walls. Nothing holds you back from taking the risks necessary to achieve your goals giving you a major advantage over your peers. And don’t worry, you can still sleep on your mattress.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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