Advertising
Advertising

The Most Important Thing For A Long Term Relationship That Many People Overlook

The Most Important Thing For A Long Term Relationship That Many People Overlook

None of us are untouched by love. It is a basic human need to be desired and nurtured, and although there are many degrees and standards by which we all live (and love) it is safe to say that we each have an understanding of relationships. They begin when we connect with any other human. But where do they end?

Though not unheard of, long-term relationships are much more rare these days, we are less likely to enter such a hefty commitment. So what do we enter into, and why? And why are we seeing such a high rate of divorce?

Advertising

We often enter into relationships with a heady and optimistic outlook. We are in love! Or at the very least we think we are. Yet we are privy to overlooking the more pragmatic reasons for commitment, and in those moments of passion and daring we can overlook the most important factor:

Are we compatible?

There are two ways to look at it really, but both answers start with the same question. How well do we know ourselves? If we can fundamentally understand what it is we are dealing with, we can proceed with honesty and care and we can generally reach a positive outcome. But we need to know what we are dealing with.
When two people fall in love and enter a commitment, there needs to be a level of understanding. Both need to know who the other is, and they must know the core values of both themselves and their partner. If you begin to learn these things further down the track, things can get complicated quickly.

Advertising

We each have different backgrounds, different views. We belong to different religions, have different ideas on how to raise children and have differing views on politics. We belong to different sports teams (this can be bigger than you think!), have different kinds of relationships with other members of our family, with friends. We need to understand these things about each other before we continue. When we know ourselves, we can teach each other, we can begin the wonderful journey of discovery. And then we are left with two possibilities. We can either be compatible in our views, or we can differ somewhat in our opinions but agree to always respect the others ideas. Compatible, or compatibly in agreement.

Key Values

Divorce rates are high. The most common reasons for divorce are that we get lost in the ‘role’ of our marriage and we lose our identities. Infidelity is also high on the list, as is a loss of intimacy, financial woes, and fighting/ disagreeing. But one of the greatest reasons for divorce is that we get involved for the wrong reasons, or we do not significantly understand what it is we are getting involved with. We leap before we think, and it is only later that we begin to learn that our core values are exceedingly incompatible.

Advertising

The silver lining is that things can be truly helped by communication. If we are honest, and kind, and we talk openly about ourselves and proceed with love and care, we have a much greater chance of something great. A good relationship is an agreement between two people. You work out what works for the two of you — and it is always different — and then you stick to it. It really can be as simple as that. At the end of the day, we can’t know exactly what will happen and things happen in life that change us. Our views can shift, and we can react to situations in ways that we never thought possible. But what we CAN do is be as prepared as possible. Trust our guts. And communicate.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Advertising

More by this author

25+ Quotes That Bring You Inner Peace To Face With Every Challenge What Is Lactose Intolerance And What To Do If You Have It Nutritionists Say Granola Bars Are Just Dressed Up Junk Food Researchers Explain Why People Often Feel Disappointed In The Dating World 3 Effective Home Remedies For Annoying Eczema

Trending in Communication

1 How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up 2 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again 3 Practical Advice for Overcoming Problems in INFP Relationships 4 How to Live up to Your Full Potential and Succeed in Life 5 7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

Advertising

It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

Advertising

3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

Advertising

Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

Advertising

6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

Read Next