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15 Rules That Will Deepen Your Relationship

15 Rules That Will Deepen Your Relationship

When it comes to relationships, there are certain rules that should be met if you want to deepen your connection. With everything in the media, we can easily forget what is important in a relationship and what isn’t; we might focus on superficial aspects of the other person such, as how much money they have to spend on you or how sexy their body is. Although having money and being attractive are both good qualities in a partner, a relationship isn’t all about superficial things.

Below are some rules that can help deepen your relationship:

1. Be Real.

It seems like common sense, but we tend to shape ourselves based on the other person. Since we want to impress the other person, we may do things or say things that we usually wouldn’t. Being real will help determine if the two of you are a good match. Wouldn’t you rather find out now if it’s worth your time instead of investing years of your time and energy? Be real with the other person. Show them the real you, not the fake you.

2. No Games.

This rule is connected to the first rule of being real. When it comes to a relationship, you can either play around or invest yourself in deepening the relationship. When you play games, your relationship will most likely fall apart. Why invest your heart into the other person, when the other person is all about playing games? This will result in dishonesty, lack of trust and arguments later down in your relationship. When it comes to strengthening a relationship, it’s vital to develop trust, honesty, effective communication and commitment.

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3. Know and understand the difference between men and women. 

This rule is very important when establishing a relationship. Men and women are born differently and psychologically, we tend to have different characteristics. Most men enjoy their alone time when they are stressed and uptight, whereas many women enjoy talking out our feelings so that we can let them out. When you don’t acknowledge the differences between men and women, you may butt heads and become frustrated. Eventually, you might just give up because you don’t know what else to do. When you’re able to understand the differences, you will better understand your partner and thus be able to strengthen and deepen your relationship. I highly recommend reading the book, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” by John Gray. He has helped me in my marriage in understanding more about myself and my husband.

4. Know your partner’s love language. 

When you are in a committed relationship, it’s important to understand the way they feel love, and how they express it. When you understand  your partner’s love language, you will be able to speak their language. It’s also  just as important in knowing your own love language. How do you feel most loved? Maybe it’s through spending quality time together, or by physical touch. A lot of couples lack intimacy and love because they are speaking different love languages to their partner. Once you’re able to speak fluently in your partner’s love language, you’ll be back on track of developing and deepening your relationship. I suggest that you go to your local library and take out the book, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

5. Effective communication. 

This goes back to the rule of knowing and understanding the difference between men and women. When  you can understand your partner, you’ll be able to communicate effectively with them. Men and women react to stress and life differently, and since women tend to express more of their emotions and enjoy talking in order to solve problems, they expect their partner to also talk and share their emotions. Learning how to be an effective communicator with your partner will help strengthen your relationship.

6. Turn off the TV! 

There is nothing wrong with watching TV with your partner every so often, but when it gets to a point where you are finding yourself always watching it after work, you will form a bad habit that will be difficult to break. Once you allow TV to be part of your relationship, how can you possibly develop greater intimacy? Turn off the television and do something fun! Go outside and ride a bike together or even just sit down on the couch and play a board game. Whatever the two of you enjoy doing is a much better habit to form than sitting and watching television. Nourish your relationship!

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7. Take care of yourself.

When it comes to being in a relationship, we can sometimes focus so much of our energy and time towards the other person that we forget about taking care of ourselves. Make sure that you take the time to focus on developing your own mind, body and soul. Don’t let go of who you are just because you’re in a relationship. Continue to love, respect and develop yourself.

8. Honesty.

If you are planning on investing your time and energy into your relationship, being honest  is a core rule. When there is no honesty, you will establish a weak foundation and eventually things will fall apart. Being honest and truthful will help establish a strong foundation in your partnership.

9. United Front.

When you and your partner are out in public, keeping a united front will help strengthen your relationship. Who wants to hear all your dirty laundry and on top of that seeing the two of you argue? It not only expresses to others the type of connection that you two have but will also cause problems within your relationship. Keeping a united front means you will work as a team and never embarrass your partner when out in public, as doing so will make your partner uncomfortable and will create resentment. Commit to having a united front so no matter what comes your way, you’ll know that you can get through it together.

10. Show your appreciation.

All of us want to be appreciated with what we do, especially in our relationships. Showing our appreciation for what your partner does will help deepen the connection between the two of you. Imagine if your partner expresses  their love but you never show your appreciation. What will happen? Your partner will eventually not want to express his love because he doesn’t feel that it makes any difference. When you are able to acknowledge what they do, they will feel more motivated to continue loving you and supporting you. Once you take their love for granted, they will eventually stop loving you. Express your appreciation every day, even a small gesture such as thanking him for coming home early so that the two of you can have a nice dinner together. Whatever it may be, show your appreciation and love that you have for your partner. Trust me, they will feel motivated to continue loving you and supporting you.

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11. Create Fulfilling Routines.

It seems like as the days go by, our relationships get pushed from the foreground to the back burner while daily life stresses take precedence. When we create fulfilling routines in our relationship, we are able to reconnect with what made us fall in love with our partners in the first place. A fulfilling routine can be as simple as always going to bed at the same time and waking up early at the time same. This may be challenging, but when you commit to sleeping at the same time and waking up at the same time, you can spend some quality time before starting the day and before you go to bed at night. Another fulfilling routine would be to walk together in the mornings. Creating fulfilling routines are meant to reconnect with your partner, especially if the both of you have busy schedules.

12. Dates!

A great way to add more flavor into your relationship is to go out on date nights. It doesn’t even have to be at night, it can be at any time of day! As we go through life, we can easily forget about what brought us together. What do you enjoy doing with your partner? There are casual dates like staying at home and cooking together or you can have more of a formal date like getting all dressed up and going out to eat, or going for a hike and a picnic. The point behind this rule is to reconnect with your partner. Don’t talk about bills or life stresses on your date: just be free and have fun. Smile, laugh and enjoy your partner’s company.

13. Grow together.

Couples often grow apart, which leads them to a point in their relationship in which they don’t feel that it’s worth investing any more time in. Be consciousness and supportive of what your partner wants to accomplish. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget to truly stay connected with what our partner wants to achieve.

14. Be patient.

Sometimes our partners make mistakes and we automatically get upset or frustrated. It’s important for you to be patient and encouraging rather than being negative and critical. You partner wants you help, but it’s how you approach the situation that makes a difference. When you’re patient, it encourages your partner to want to change with your help.

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15. Be on the page same with finances.

If you have a joint account or share your finances, make sure that both of you have a similar philosophy when it comes to money. The #1 cause for divorce is financial issues. Learn to be open when it comes to talking about money and how the both of you can best work as a team. Practice effective communication and have financial goals set in place, and focus on what matters to the both of you. Maybe you both enjoy going to the Bahamas every other year, or maybe you enjoy giving lavish Christmas gifts. Set aside a fund that you build throughout the year, so when Christmas time comes along or flights go on sale, you can use the build in your fund accordingly. Be a united front with your finances and communicate effectively.

These rules should be looked at as a stepping stone to developing your relationship, and are meant to help establish a strong foundation between you and your partner. We all have flaws and mistakes, but when we can follow these rules in our relationship, we will better understand our partner and also ourselves. When you’re in a relationship, not only do you develop the connection with your partner but you also connect deeper within yourself. You grow just as much as your relationship grows. Be an inspiration for your partner: motivate them, challenge them to reach their fullest potential, and the end of the day, be happy.

One a final note: “What do you love most about your partner?” 

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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