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10 Things Only People Who Are Hard On Themselves Can Understand

10 Things Only People Who Are Hard On Themselves Can Understand

Everyone knows the feeling of being under pressure — having deadlines at work, throwing an event, trying to achieve lofty goals.

But for some of us, most of the pressure comes from ourselves. We push ourselves to achieve more and more, and the idea of failure stresses us out. We love the feeling of doing a great job, but we often beat ourselves up over the little things.

If you are too hard on yourself, you will be able to relate to these 10 things.

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1. We don’t like asking for help, but we are more than happy to help anyone who needs it.

We don’t like to ask other people for help because we worry that they will think we are incompetent. We strive to be capable and independent, but we are more than happy to help anyone who needs it — and we would never judge them for asking for help.

2. We want to live life to the fullest.

We don’t want to have an average life; we want to have amazing, happy, successful lives. We are hard on ourselves because it takes a lot of work to achieve greatness.

3. We hate failing.

No one likes failing, but we really, really hate it. We are always thinking about our goals and how to avoid failure, and this attitude has benefits. We often manage to predict mistakes so we can avoid making them, but when we do make a mistake, it really gets us down.

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4. We can’t stop thinking about constructive criticism that we have received.

If anyone offers us constructive criticism, we listen up and remember it for months. It can often be hard to hear at first, as we don’t like to hear anything negative about ourselves, but we will always eventually follow the advice — anything to improve our skills.

5. Compliments make us feel awkward.

Even though we work really hard, we are always surprised to receive a compliment. We often worry that the other person is just being nice to us, so we will turn red and try to be as modest as possible. We are much more likely to say “forget about it, it’s no problem” than “thank you!”.

6. We say sorry a lot.

If we let someone down, we apologize immediately. We understand that we have made a mistake and the only thing to do is apologize and try to fix it. Even when the other person forgives us, we struggle to believe that they actually have, because we expect other people to be hard on us too.

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7. We fixate on past mistakes.

People who are hard on themselves always remember their mistakes because they hope that keeping the mistakes in their mind means they are less likely to make the same mistakes again. Sometimes it’s tough, but it’s also useful — we never make the same mistakes twice!

8. We are over-thinkers.

When we imagine a scenario, we always think of every single possible outcome. This means we often worry about problems that may never happen, but we can also think about our bright future and all of the possibilities it contains.

9. We give ourselves pep talks.

We give ourselves positive pep talks to prepare for everything from job interviews to cooking a new recipe. We tell ourselves that everything will be fine, and it normally it is — probably because of our awesome pep talk.

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10. We are not hard on other people, only ourselves.

We are tough on ourselves, but we really hate the idea of being mean to other people. We know how difficult it can be to receive criticism and we don’t want to hurt or upset them. Instead, we try to be positive and encouraging to other people so they feel happy about their achievements.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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