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10 Things Only People Who Are Hard On Themselves Can Understand

10 Things Only People Who Are Hard On Themselves Can Understand

Everyone knows the feeling of being under pressure — having deadlines at work, throwing an event, trying to achieve lofty goals.

But for some of us, most of the pressure comes from ourselves. We push ourselves to achieve more and more, and the idea of failure stresses us out. We love the feeling of doing a great job, but we often beat ourselves up over the little things.

If you are too hard on yourself, you will be able to relate to these 10 things.

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1. We don’t like asking for help, but we are more than happy to help anyone who needs it.

We don’t like to ask other people for help because we worry that they will think we are incompetent. We strive to be capable and independent, but we are more than happy to help anyone who needs it — and we would never judge them for asking for help.

2. We want to live life to the fullest.

We don’t want to have an average life; we want to have amazing, happy, successful lives. We are hard on ourselves because it takes a lot of work to achieve greatness.

3. We hate failing.

No one likes failing, but we really, really hate it. We are always thinking about our goals and how to avoid failure, and this attitude has benefits. We often manage to predict mistakes so we can avoid making them, but when we do make a mistake, it really gets us down.

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4. We can’t stop thinking about constructive criticism that we have received.

If anyone offers us constructive criticism, we listen up and remember it for months. It can often be hard to hear at first, as we don’t like to hear anything negative about ourselves, but we will always eventually follow the advice — anything to improve our skills.

5. Compliments make us feel awkward.

Even though we work really hard, we are always surprised to receive a compliment. We often worry that the other person is just being nice to us, so we will turn red and try to be as modest as possible. We are much more likely to say “forget about it, it’s no problem” than “thank you!”.

6. We say sorry a lot.

If we let someone down, we apologize immediately. We understand that we have made a mistake and the only thing to do is apologize and try to fix it. Even when the other person forgives us, we struggle to believe that they actually have, because we expect other people to be hard on us too.

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7. We fixate on past mistakes.

People who are hard on themselves always remember their mistakes because they hope that keeping the mistakes in their mind means they are less likely to make the same mistakes again. Sometimes it’s tough, but it’s also useful — we never make the same mistakes twice!

8. We are over-thinkers.

When we imagine a scenario, we always think of every single possible outcome. This means we often worry about problems that may never happen, but we can also think about our bright future and all of the possibilities it contains.

9. We give ourselves pep talks.

We give ourselves positive pep talks to prepare for everything from job interviews to cooking a new recipe. We tell ourselves that everything will be fine, and it normally it is — probably because of our awesome pep talk.

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10. We are not hard on other people, only ourselves.

We are tough on ourselves, but we really hate the idea of being mean to other people. We know how difficult it can be to receive criticism and we don’t want to hurt or upset them. Instead, we try to be positive and encouraging to other people so they feel happy about their achievements.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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