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Alcoholics Tell Us How They Feel And Think About Drinking

Alcoholics Tell Us How They Feel And Think About Drinking

Being an alcoholic can be a lonely and frustrating experience. Often, you feel like no one else has gone through what you are going through. The fun and buzz that you may have experienced when you first started drinking is long gone, and often all that is left is a feeling of despair and helplessness.

But there are many who have gone through the hard process of quitting. For them, it has been a long and difficult road.

For those of you who manage to reach sobriety, there can often be mixed feelings. Below are some comments made by alcoholics. They are divided into three categories based on how it feels to be an alcoholic, how hard it is to quit drinking, and how good it feels when you do manage to quit.

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How it feels to be an alcoholic

1. Alcoholism is lonely

Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 5.36.30 pm
    source: https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-an-alcoholic

    2. The fun is lost

    Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 5.40.48 pm
      source: https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-an-alcoholic

      3. The misery only becomes more horrible after I wake up

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      its shit
        source: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/3j4ukp/what_does_alcoholism_look_and_feel_like/

        4. I hate the whole human race when I was drunk

        mrhyde
          source: https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-an-alcoholic

          5. I felt like I was a failure

          looks like
            source: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/3j4ukp/what_does_alcoholism_look_and_feel_like/

            It’s hard to quit drinking

            6. It can take years. But it pays off in the end

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            Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 6.01.09 pm
              source: http://www.iflscience.com/brain/what-happens-alcoholics-brains-when-they-quit-drinking

              7. I can never have another drink

              people still
                source: https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-an-alcoholic

                8. The worst and longest nightmare

                nightmare
                  source: http://www.drugfreeworld.org/real-life-stories/alcohol.html

                  9. Talking to other alcoholics helps

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                  its been over six years
                    source: https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-an-alcoholic

                    It feels great after quitting drinking

                    10. It’s miraculous to be a recovering alcoholic

                    buried mother
                      source: https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-an-alcoholic

                      11. I’m giving my health, looks and reputation a chance to get better

                      first day
                        source: http://soberistas.com/page/personal-stories

                        12. Great thanks to the friend who helped

                        fast-forward again
                          source: http://soberistas.com/page/personal-stories

                          13. Busy work can help

                          i realise i am incredilbly strong
                            source: http://soberistas.com/page/personal-stories

                            If you have experienced being an alcoholic and have managed to become sober, then the feeling of a life regained is a reward in itself. If you are still drinking, quitting may seem like a daunting task. It may feel like you are beyond help or too far gone, but as you can see from other people’s comments, there is a way forward. It is possible to take that step and embark on the road towards recovery.

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                            Rebecca Beris

                            Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

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                            Last Updated on July 10, 2020

                            How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

                            How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

                            We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

                            We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

                            So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

                            Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

                            What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

                            Boundaries are limits

                            —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

                            Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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                            Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

                            Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

                            Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

                            How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

                            Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

                            1. Self-Awareness Comes First

                            Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

                            You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

                            To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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                            You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

                            • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
                            • When do you feel disrespected?
                            • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
                            • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
                            • When do you want to be alone?
                            • How much space do you need?

                            You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

                            2. Clear Communication Is Essential

                            Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

                            Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

                            3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

                            Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

                            That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

                            Sample language:

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                            • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
                            • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
                            • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
                            • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
                            • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
                            • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
                            • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

                            Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

                            4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

                            Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

                            Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

                            Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

                            We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

                            It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

                            It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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                            Final Thoughts

                            Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

                            Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

                            Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

                            The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

                            Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

                            Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

                            They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

                            Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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