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12 Signs That You Really Need a Life Coach

12 Signs That You Really Need a Life Coach

Successful people have sworn by life coaches for years, but a lot of people are still hesitant to hire one. A life coach can help you figure out what you want to do with your life and, more importantly, they can help you figure out how to do it. Many people think that they don’t need help and that they can do everything by themselves. The truth is that it always helps to have support, especially the support of an experienced professional who can aid you in getting where you want to be without wasting any excess time or money.

Here are 12 major signs that you may be in need of a life coach:

1. You Feel Lost

One thing that life coaches are great at is helping people find their way when they are feeling lost and confused. If you have come to a point where you don’t know who you are or what you want, working with a life coach is the perfect starting point for your new life journey.

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2. You Doubt Yourself

If you are doubting yourself, a life coach can work with you and help you to find some clarity. Much of the time we know what we want deep down inside, but we become confused by the world around us and the many “shoulds” that may enter our lives on a daily basis. A life coach can help you realize what your dreams are as well as the best way you can reach them.

3. You Have A Vision, But No Clear Plan

There are times where you may have a goal or vision, but have no clue as to how to achieve it. It is a life coach’s job to guide you through the steps of creating a plan of action so that you can get to where you want to be. A lot of great ideas go unrealized due to a lack of organization and clarity, and the world misses out every time.

4. You Want To Change Your Profession

If you’re looking to break out of your day job and start your own business or enter a new field, the expert guidance of a life coach can give you the confidence and assurance you need to take the necessary leap.

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5. You Need To Improve Your Health

If your health could use some attention and renovating, you may want to hire a health coach. Health coaches can help you plan out your meals and determine which foods will benefit you and which are hurting your body. If you want to get into shape fast, it’s best not to go it alone.

6. You Tend to Forget Things

If you’re always forgetting to do things like pick up the dry cleaning or take out the trash, are you really going to trust yourself wholeheartedly with your future? Having a life coach will help you stay responsible and keep you on track with your goals and dreams.

7. You Don’t Always Follow Through

If you need someone to help keep you accountable, an online life coach is the best person to have at your side. If you tend to give up or downplay the importance of some of your obligations, you may want to have someone there to remind you to finish what you started and help you to stay motivated.

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8. You’re a Procrastinator

Being a procrastinator is never going to get you where you want to be. Reaching your goals takes discipline, action, and it calls for getting things done on time and keeping to your schedule. A life coach can help you change your patterns of behavior and break your habit of procrastinating so that you can move forward and live the life you want.

9. You Don’t Have a Lot of Time to Waste

Does anybody have time to waste these days? The fact of the matter is life can be hectic and people are busy. Wasting time going around in circles, trying to reach your goals, will only take up more of your precious time than you have to give. Working with a life coach will save you time by helping you find solutions faster and by keeping you on your path so that you can get to where you’re going as quickly as possible.

10. You Need to Make More Money

A common dilemma that people are running into is the need for more money when they are barely making enough to survive. It can be difficult to break into your dream job when you are depending on the steady income that your current job provides. A life coach, however, can help you make the money you’re looking for while you do something that you love. They can direct you to resources and provide you with the insight you need to go in a rewarding and profitable direction. It’s a win-win situation.

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11. You are Susceptible to Stress

If you’re someone who becomes easily stressed or frustrated, trying to do things on your own, without any support, will only add to your frustration. You will save yourself a lot of energy, and you will prevent stress and burning yourself out by hiring a life coach to be your support along the way to achieving your goals. Not only will a life coach shed some clarity onto your path, but they can also show you relaxation techniques and exercises to help you deal with your stress.

12. Your Self-Confidence Could Use a Boost

One of the greater benefits of working with a life coach is that a life coach can help you develop your self-confidence. Life coaches work with you on self-assertion and support you as you take risks that make your life better and help your dreams come true. They show you that you are just as worthy of success as anybody else and they stay by your side as you gather the experience you need to believe in yourself and become more self-confident.

If any of the above sounds like you, it may be time to look into hiring a life coach. Many of the most successful people on the planet have had life coaches and continue to receive support from professional consultants. You can only benefit from the services a life coach has to offer, and you will get to where you want to be more quickly when you have someone to lean on for friendship and guidance.

Featured photo credit: Steven Vanden Broucke via flickr.com

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Tom Casano

The CEO and Founder of Life Coach Spotter

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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