Advertising
Advertising

12 Signs That You Really Need a Life Coach

12 Signs That You Really Need a Life Coach

Successful people have sworn by life coaches for years, but a lot of people are still hesitant to hire one. A life coach can help you figure out what you want to do with your life and, more importantly, they can help you figure out how to do it. Many people think that they don’t need help and that they can do everything by themselves. The truth is that it always helps to have support, especially the support of an experienced professional who can aid you in getting where you want to be without wasting any excess time or money.

Here are 12 major signs that you may be in need of a life coach:

1. You Feel Lost

One thing that life coaches are great at is helping people find their way when they are feeling lost and confused. If you have come to a point where you don’t know who you are or what you want, working with a life coach is the perfect starting point for your new life journey.

Advertising

2. You Doubt Yourself

If you are doubting yourself, a life coach can work with you and help you to find some clarity. Much of the time we know what we want deep down inside, but we become confused by the world around us and the many “shoulds” that may enter our lives on a daily basis. A life coach can help you realize what your dreams are as well as the best way you can reach them.

3. You Have A Vision, But No Clear Plan

There are times where you may have a goal or vision, but have no clue as to how to achieve it. It is a life coach’s job to guide you through the steps of creating a plan of action so that you can get to where you want to be. A lot of great ideas go unrealized due to a lack of organization and clarity, and the world misses out every time.

4. You Want To Change Your Profession

If you’re looking to break out of your day job and start your own business or enter a new field, the expert guidance of a life coach can give you the confidence and assurance you need to take the necessary leap.

Advertising

5. You Need To Improve Your Health

If your health could use some attention and renovating, you may want to hire a health coach. Health coaches can help you plan out your meals and determine which foods will benefit you and which are hurting your body. If you want to get into shape fast, it’s best not to go it alone.

6. You Tend to Forget Things

If you’re always forgetting to do things like pick up the dry cleaning or take out the trash, are you really going to trust yourself wholeheartedly with your future? Having a life coach will help you stay responsible and keep you on track with your goals and dreams.

7. You Don’t Always Follow Through

If you need someone to help keep you accountable, an online life coach is the best person to have at your side. If you tend to give up or downplay the importance of some of your obligations, you may want to have someone there to remind you to finish what you started and help you to stay motivated.

Advertising

8. You’re a Procrastinator

Being a procrastinator is never going to get you where you want to be. Reaching your goals takes discipline, action, and it calls for getting things done on time and keeping to your schedule. A life coach can help you change your patterns of behavior and break your habit of procrastinating so that you can move forward and live the life you want.

9. You Don’t Have a Lot of Time to Waste

Does anybody have time to waste these days? The fact of the matter is life can be hectic and people are busy. Wasting time going around in circles, trying to reach your goals, will only take up more of your precious time than you have to give. Working with a life coach will save you time by helping you find solutions faster and by keeping you on your path so that you can get to where you’re going as quickly as possible.

10. You Need to Make More Money

A common dilemma that people are running into is the need for more money when they are barely making enough to survive. It can be difficult to break into your dream job when you are depending on the steady income that your current job provides. A life coach, however, can help you make the money you’re looking for while you do something that you love. They can direct you to resources and provide you with the insight you need to go in a rewarding and profitable direction. It’s a win-win situation.

Advertising

11. You are Susceptible to Stress

If you’re someone who becomes easily stressed or frustrated, trying to do things on your own, without any support, will only add to your frustration. You will save yourself a lot of energy, and you will prevent stress and burning yourself out by hiring a life coach to be your support along the way to achieving your goals. Not only will a life coach shed some clarity onto your path, but they can also show you relaxation techniques and exercises to help you deal with your stress.

12. Your Self-Confidence Could Use a Boost

One of the greater benefits of working with a life coach is that a life coach can help you develop your self-confidence. Life coaches work with you on self-assertion and support you as you take risks that make your life better and help your dreams come true. They show you that you are just as worthy of success as anybody else and they stay by your side as you gather the experience you need to believe in yourself and become more self-confident.

If any of the above sounds like you, it may be time to look into hiring a life coach. Many of the most successful people on the planet have had life coaches and continue to receive support from professional consultants. You can only benefit from the services a life coach has to offer, and you will get to where you want to be more quickly when you have someone to lean on for friendship and guidance.

Featured photo credit: Steven Vanden Broucke via flickr.com

More by this author

Tom Casano

The CEO and Founder of Life Coach Spotter

10 Ways To Believe In Yourself Again When Life Gets Rough The 5 Unspoken Principles Of Goal Setting The Online Life Coach Guide Is Online Life Coaching Worth It? Meditation Demystified: 3 Easy Tips to Get it Right Life Coach Spotter's Find a Personal Life Coach 4 Ways to Find Your Life Coach

Trending in Communication

1 How to Improve Intimacy in Your Marriage and Rekindle the Passion 2 Why You Feel Lonely In Your Marriage And How To Deal With It 3 6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of 4 How To Spark A Positive Mood When Feeling Dull 5 5 Reasons You Will Never Be a Fighter

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

Advertising

2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

Advertising

  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

Advertising

This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

Advertising

6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

Read Next