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Why Starting A Blog Could Change Your Life

Why Starting A Blog Could Change Your Life

I started blogging regularly six months ago and it has truly changed my life for the better. My social calendar is full, I feel like I have a real place in the blogging community, and most importantly, I’m having fun. If you’re thinking about starting a blog but are not sure, here’s why starting a blog could change your life.

1. You’ll make new friends

It gets harder to make meaningful friendships as we grow older and we no longer have the consistency of a school environment to grow relationships. Luckily, the blogging community is full of lovely people ready to welcome you into their group. Once you start blogging, you already have a hobby in common with hundreds of others; and by visiting other blogs you can find people who share your secret love for existential literature or dancing around in your underwear to Beyonce (although that last one is all of us, ammiright?).

Most of the bloggers I have met, whether in person or online, have been really nice people and the community is very welcoming as a whole.

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2. You’ll learn things about yourself

Before I started blogging, I had no idea that I could truly engage people through my writing. I didn’t know that there were plenty of other young women out there who felt as lost as I did, or that there were so many of us who wanted to peek into each others’ make up bags and talk about how hard it is to get a job you love these days.

Your confidence will grow, and you’ll have the chance to do things you never thought you could, whether that be write about a personal subject, attend blogging events or to interview someone you look up to.

3. It’s a great hobby

Before I started blogging, I was always thinking about needing a hobby. I wanted to do something creative in my spare time that could become my ‘thing’. I bought a painting set but never got round to opening it; I signed up for guitar lessons but then I missed the bus and never went again. It wasn’t going very well.

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Then I found blogging. Blogging is such an exciting hobby to have; it can be done from home, it’s free and you can be as creative as you like. You can also blog about anything you like, whether that’s movies, beauty reviews, mental health or your family.

You can start out blogging for free on sites such as WordPress or Blogger, or you can pay for your own domain name and have your very own dot com. Those who are particularly creative can play around with theme designs and headers; and social media savvy bloggers can have fun building their brand online.

4. You’ll become a better writer

The key to getting better at something is practice, and blogging enables you to practice your written communication skills. You’ll get better naturally as time goes on, and you’ll find your voice.

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5. You could make money

Now, if you are going into blogging purely to make money then blogging is not for you. There are opportunities to make money from blogging, but it should not be your biggest priority. Making money from your hobby is a nice added bonus though.

6. It could even land you a new career

Not only is blogging a great hobby, but many bloggers have made a career out of it and now blog full time. This is not easy, though, and many bloggers who do it for a living have to supplement their income in other ways.

If you don’t fancy blogging full time, your blog could still land you a new career whether it’s in copywriting, social media, SEO, fashion or working in beauty. Your blog is a public medium for you to showcase your skills, and as you learn, you’ll gain new skills that could land you the job of your dreams. Many bidding journalists studying at university choose to blog in their spare time, gaining experience and getting their name out there; giving them an advantage when it comes to applying for their first, ever so competitive, entry-level role.

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I recently wrote an article on how blogging can help you get a job in marketing and PR at A Literary Cocktail.

Blogging is an ever-growing industry and as print media diminishes, blogging will only become more popular. What are you waiting for? Sign up, start writing and change your life!

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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