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The Morning Routine Of Emotional Momentum

The Morning Routine Of Emotional Momentum

I’ve tested various morning routines and am constantly switching my approach to find the best morning routine for emotional momentum. After several attempts, this 6 step morning routine has helped me the most. The reason this is so effective is because it is VERY easy to do.

Your brain is constantly looking to conserve energy. Morning routines that require 100 jumping jacks as you roll out of bed are hardly sustainable. A large energy expenditure like that is better suited when momentum has been built toward it. That’s where this morning routine comes in. It is intended to build momentum and set the emotional tone for the day allowing you to create emotional momentum to take on any task required of you.

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1. Make Your Bed

I’m borrowing this tip from a University of Texas commencement speech delivered by U.S. Navy Adm. William H. McCraven. You want to know what all Navy Seals do every morning? They make their bed. Making your bed each morning is a seemingly inconsequential task, but it holds enormous potential in the momentum it provides you.

It’s a small task but it will give you the momentum to do another small task and then another and then another. Before you know it, you’ll have completed massive accomplishments throughout the day. Each accomplishment will lay foundation for the next, and soon you’ll start to realize that integrity isn’t an idealistic character trait, but a definition of self.

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2. Tell Yourself You Slept Well

Researchers at Colorado College studied the strange placebo effect of telling participants that they slept well. What happened when they told participants that they had above-average REM sleep? Voila! They performed better on cognitive tests. What about the reverse? They tested that too. Participants led to believe that they didn’t sleep well performed worse, even when they actually did sleep well! I’ve tried this for a year as well and can empirically state that this is true. When I told myself that I slept well with full belief, I was more alert in my work tasks for the day (even if I had only slept 3-6 hours).

3. Be Grateful

Find a moment to say thank you. Thank the universe. Thank every cell in your body. Thank nature. Thank your God or Gods. Thank whatever you believe in. You woke up today. Today, you are once again alive. You were given this amazing opportunity to experience Earth. This is your day. No challenge can be greater than the nearly insurmountable obstacles that took place for your genes to be here. Thank the complex functioning that your body is performing to stay alive beyond your level of conscious control. You are breathing. Your heart is beating. Be grateful.

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4. Ask One Very Powerful Question

A powerful question lays the foundation for the rest of the day. If you started the day with “Today is going to suck”, guess what is going to happen? Your mind is directed by the questions that you ask of it. If you were to ask one powerful question to direct the day, what would it be? I like to use, “How can I make this day amazing?”. My mind starts racing to answer the question.

Maybe it’s eating a salad. Maybe it’s saying hello to a stranger. Maybe it’s writing, or reading, or snowboarding, or calling my parents, or any other possible answer. But I trust that my brain has the right answer. After this, I’ll repeat “Today is going to be amazing” over and over and over again. I will say it with full conviction until I feel it. I don’t care to know it logically; I need the visceral reaction of feeling it. At that point, nobody can take it away.

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5. Love Yourself

Seriously. You need to start the day by filling yourself up. Too many people wake up with an emotional vacuum they try to fill with other people’s emotions. They seek attention because they haven’t given themselves attention. They become needy for connection and love because they haven’t given themselves connection and love. You need to find a way to fill yourself up with your own happiness and love so much that you become an abundant source of happiness for other people. Your happiness is no one’s responsibility other than your own.

I like to do this by partying in my room or creating a party in my head. Again, trust your subconscious on this one. Love yourself in whichever way feels right for you. Don’t worry if people give you weird looks or comments when you say that you love yourself. Those are the ones that are in pain. Love yourself enough that you don’t need their acceptance. Ask yourself, “If I wanted to love myself even more, how would I feel it right now?” If you make loving yourself a habit, you will not only change yourself; you will change the world.

6. Insert X

This is the blank slate where you decide what comes next. This is where you start building your day out. Is the next step writing? Is it reading? Is it a portuguese lesson? Is it pushups or the gym? Is it getting to work? Is it drinking two glasses of water (recommended)? You decide what you’d like to do next. It’s your life. If at any point in the day, your emotions start dropping down, repeat steps 3, 4 or 5 as needed. The more you practice them, the more you become them.

Featured photo credit: www.canstockphoto.com via canstockphoto.com

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The Morning Routine Of Emotional Momentum The Morning Routine Of Emotional Momentum

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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