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The Morning Routine Of Emotional Momentum

The Morning Routine Of Emotional Momentum

I’ve tested various morning routines and am constantly switching my approach to find the best morning routine for emotional momentum. After several attempts, this 6 step morning routine has helped me the most. The reason this is so effective is because it is VERY easy to do.

Your brain is constantly looking to conserve energy. Morning routines that require 100 jumping jacks as you roll out of bed are hardly sustainable. A large energy expenditure like that is better suited when momentum has been built toward it. That’s where this morning routine comes in. It is intended to build momentum and set the emotional tone for the day allowing you to create emotional momentum to take on any task required of you.

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1. Make Your Bed

I’m borrowing this tip from a University of Texas commencement speech delivered by U.S. Navy Adm. William H. McCraven. You want to know what all Navy Seals do every morning? They make their bed. Making your bed each morning is a seemingly inconsequential task, but it holds enormous potential in the momentum it provides you.

It’s a small task but it will give you the momentum to do another small task and then another and then another. Before you know it, you’ll have completed massive accomplishments throughout the day. Each accomplishment will lay foundation for the next, and soon you’ll start to realize that integrity isn’t an idealistic character trait, but a definition of self.

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2. Tell Yourself You Slept Well

Researchers at Colorado College studied the strange placebo effect of telling participants that they slept well. What happened when they told participants that they had above-average REM sleep? Voila! They performed better on cognitive tests. What about the reverse? They tested that too. Participants led to believe that they didn’t sleep well performed worse, even when they actually did sleep well! I’ve tried this for a year as well and can empirically state that this is true. When I told myself that I slept well with full belief, I was more alert in my work tasks for the day (even if I had only slept 3-6 hours).

3. Be Grateful

Find a moment to say thank you. Thank the universe. Thank every cell in your body. Thank nature. Thank your God or Gods. Thank whatever you believe in. You woke up today. Today, you are once again alive. You were given this amazing opportunity to experience Earth. This is your day. No challenge can be greater than the nearly insurmountable obstacles that took place for your genes to be here. Thank the complex functioning that your body is performing to stay alive beyond your level of conscious control. You are breathing. Your heart is beating. Be grateful.

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4. Ask One Very Powerful Question

A powerful question lays the foundation for the rest of the day. If you started the day with “Today is going to suck”, guess what is going to happen? Your mind is directed by the questions that you ask of it. If you were to ask one powerful question to direct the day, what would it be? I like to use, “How can I make this day amazing?”. My mind starts racing to answer the question.

Maybe it’s eating a salad. Maybe it’s saying hello to a stranger. Maybe it’s writing, or reading, or snowboarding, or calling my parents, or any other possible answer. But I trust that my brain has the right answer. After this, I’ll repeat “Today is going to be amazing” over and over and over again. I will say it with full conviction until I feel it. I don’t care to know it logically; I need the visceral reaction of feeling it. At that point, nobody can take it away.

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5. Love Yourself

Seriously. You need to start the day by filling yourself up. Too many people wake up with an emotional vacuum they try to fill with other people’s emotions. They seek attention because they haven’t given themselves attention. They become needy for connection and love because they haven’t given themselves connection and love. You need to find a way to fill yourself up with your own happiness and love so much that you become an abundant source of happiness for other people. Your happiness is no one’s responsibility other than your own.

I like to do this by partying in my room or creating a party in my head. Again, trust your subconscious on this one. Love yourself in whichever way feels right for you. Don’t worry if people give you weird looks or comments when you say that you love yourself. Those are the ones that are in pain. Love yourself enough that you don’t need their acceptance. Ask yourself, “If I wanted to love myself even more, how would I feel it right now?” If you make loving yourself a habit, you will not only change yourself; you will change the world.

6. Insert X

This is the blank slate where you decide what comes next. This is where you start building your day out. Is the next step writing? Is it reading? Is it a portuguese lesson? Is it pushups or the gym? Is it getting to work? Is it drinking two glasses of water (recommended)? You decide what you’d like to do next. It’s your life. If at any point in the day, your emotions start dropping down, repeat steps 3, 4 or 5 as needed. The more you practice them, the more you become them.

Featured photo credit: www.canstockphoto.com via canstockphoto.com

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The Morning Routine Of Emotional Momentum The Morning Routine Of Emotional Momentum

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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