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5 Reasons Your Drinking Destroyed Your Relationship

5 Reasons Your Drinking Destroyed Your Relationship

Let’s be blunt for a moment: being broken up with sucks. With each new relationship we get our hopes up that this may finally be the one; unfortunately, that sets us up to be wrong more often than not. While that hope for a bright future with your partner is by no means a bad thing, it’s important to keep a level head and truly consider your compatibility with your lover- otherwise, the end is nearly inevitable.

Sometimes relationships must end for the sake of love; other times it’s incompatibility in personalities or habits. In these cases, it may be beneficial to take a moment for self-reflection- especially if the problem seems to be a reoccurring trend in your love life. So think back: what are the most common reasons your relationships ended in the past? Clinginess? Emotional unavailability? Personal hygiene issues? Drinking?

Wait, what was that last one? Drinking? Well, that’s definitely something to look into: here are 5 reasons your drinking destroyed your relationship.

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You Prioritized Alcohol Over Your Lover

This one might seem pretty obvious- I mean, you would notice if you were neglecting your lover, right?

Right?

Not necessarily. Just as focusing on our careers can sometimes blind us to the other aspects of our lives which are suffering, alcohol abuse makes it hard to see anything else in our lives. Addiction is a disease of the mind for a reason- it completely hijacks your mind, rearranging your priorities. Even the most powerful love can be diminished in the face of feeding the demon of substance abuse.

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Thinking back, does that put things in perspective? Did you ever forget an important date due to your drinking? Or did you cancel your time together because you were nursing a hangover? Can you imagine how one could get the idea that they are not a priority when their significant other would rather drink than spend time with them? Good! Now make sure your next partner doesn’t have to feel that way.

You’re a Different Person When You’re Drunk

What’s the number one reason people enjoy drinking alcohol? For the lack of inhibitions, right? Having alcohol in your system makes it easier to do and say things we wouldn’t do otherwise. For some it’s about being able to relax in social situations which would normally induce anxiety; for others, it makes the party more fun. Everyone responds to alcohol differently- and the way you react to alcohol may be a problem.

Be truthful to yourself: are you an angry or aggressive drunk? Sexually inappropriate? Excessively emotional? If your partners frequently express that your personality changes when drinking are causing conflicts in your relationship, take heed; especially if these personality changes are paired with violence. 80 percent of domestic violence cases include the ingestion of alcohol.

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You Stopped Doing Anything That Didn’t Involve Alcohol

Do you find that you were once much more active and outgoing, but now you don’t have the same drive to get out and see things? You may account it to aging, but if perhaps you should re-examine that stance: could it be your alcohol consumption? Your body’s attempts to purge itself of alcohol after you overindulge can leave you sapped of energy, after all. If you no longer have the energy to enjoy hiking or going to the beach with your partner, but still find time to hit up a bar or liquor store, don’t be surprised when your lover decides to call it quits.

Consistency is the key to maintaining a romance, and if part of your bond is a mutual enjoyment of extroverted activities and you no longer wish to due to being preoccupied with alcohol, they may elect to find someone with a bit more attention to spare.

Your Sex Drive Plummeted

For some people, sex isn’t an important factor in their romantic relationships- but for others, it is very important. Unfortunately for you, your binge drinking and regular blackouts lead to neglecting your partner’s physical needs- there’s just nothing sexy about flopping on the bed like a wet fish.

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In men, too much alcohol can lead to sexual dysfunctions which make sex pretty much a moot point.

Your partner may feel that your sex life is a physical extension of your feelings toward one another; if your drinking is interrupting or causing a complete stop in that mode of expressing your love, they may feel neglected and unwanted. Of course, you are not obligated to provide this intimacy if you are genuinely disinclined, but don’t be too surprised when your partner announces they can no longer tolerate the rift your alcohol-fueled performance issues caused and they are opting out of the relationship.

You Communicate More with the Bottle Than with Your Partner

At the very basis of a functioning, healthy relationship is the ability to communicate openly with your partner about any and everything. That means no secrets or lies, and respecting your partner enough to include them in decisions which will effect both of you and your relationship. A breakdown in communication is a giant red flag that things may be going south.

Of course, you didn’t see those signs; you were too busy communicating with your best friend at the bottom of a bottle. Often, when one has a lover with an alcohol abuse problem, one tends to internalize blame, thinking their shortcomings are the cause of their loved one’s addiction. While of course we know this isn’t true, that thought process leads to heartache, bitterness, and, ultimately, the termination of your relationship.

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Last Updated on June 23, 2019

20 Things People Regret the Most Before They Die

20 Things People Regret the Most Before They Die

Close your eyes and imagine that you’re at your own funeral—a bit morbid I know, but there’s a reason for it. Now think about what you’d like people to say about you. What kind of a life do you want to lead? People die with all kinds of regrets. Don’t be one of them.

1. I wish I’d cared less about what other people think.

It’s only when you realise how little other people are really thinking of you (in a negative sense) that you realise how much time you spent caring and wasting energy worrying about this.

2. I wish I had accomplished more.

You don’t have to have won an Oscar, built up a business or run a marathon, but having small personal accomplishments is important.

3. I wish I had told __ how I truly felt.

Even if the “one” doesn’t exist, telling someone how you truly feel will always save you from that gut wrenching”but what if…” feeling that could linger for life if you stay quiet.

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4. I wish I had stood up for myself more.

Sometimes, it’s too easy to think that if you go all out to please everyone you’ll be liked more or your partner won’t run off with anyone else. I think age probably teaches us to be nice but not at the expense of our own happiness.

5. I wish I had followed my passion in life.

It’s so easy to be seduced by a stable salary, a solid routine and a comfortable life, but at what expense?

6. I wish our last conversation hadn’t been an argument.

Life is short, and you never really know when the last time you speak to someone you love will be. It’s these moments that really stay clear in peoples’ minds.

7. I wish I had let my children grow up to be who they wanted to be.

The realisation that love, compassion and empathy are so much more important than clashes in values or belief systems can hit home hard.

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8. I wish I had lived more in the moment.

Watching children grow up makes you realise how short-lived and precious time really is, and as we age, many of us live less and less in the present.

9. I wish I had worked less.

There’s always a desire to have loosened up a bit more with this one and the realisation that financial success or career accomplishment doesn’t necessarily equal a fulfilled life.

10. I wish I had traveled more.

It can be done at any age, with kids or not but many talk themselves out of it for all kinds of reasons such as lack of money, mortgage, children, etc. When there’s a regret, you know it could have been possible at some stage.

11. I wish I had trusted my gut rather than listening to everyone else.

Making your own decisions and feeling confident in the decisions you make gives us fulfilment and joy from life. Going against your gut only breeds resentment and bitterness.

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12. I wish I’d taken better care of myself.

Premature health problems or ageing always makes you wonder if you’d eaten healthier, exercised more and been less stressed, would you be where you are today?

13. I wish I’d taken more risks.

Everyone has their own idea of what’s risky, but you know when you’re living too much in your comfort zone. In hindsight, some people feel they missed out on a lot of adventure life has to offer.

14. I wish I’d had more time.

Many people say time speeds up as we age. The six weeks of summer holidays we had as kids certainly seemed to last a lifetime. If time speeds up, then it’s even more important to make the most of every moment.

15. I wish I hadn’t worried so much.

If you’ve ever kept a diary and looked back, you’ll probably wonder why you ever got so worked up over X.

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16. I wish I’d appreciated ___ more.

The consequences of taking people for granted are always hard to deal with.

17. I wish I’d spent more time with my family.

Some people get caught up with work, move to other parts of the world, grow old with grudges against family members only to realise their priorities were in the wrong place.

18. I wish I hadn’t taken myself so seriously.

Life is just more fun when you can laugh at yourself.

19. I wish I’d done more for other people.

Doing things for others just makes life more meaningful.

20. I wish I could have felt happier.

The realisation that happiness is a state of mind that you can control sometimes doesn’t occur to people until it’s too late.

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