“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”
Are you reminiscing about the days of your bygone youth with your friends and feeling nostalgic? Maybe the times you spent with your friends together during your college years, bunking classes and going to watch movies is all passing before your eyes. I know how much you miss the days when you were happily drunk together, or the moment you secretly lit that first joint in your dorm room. You feel the need to reconnect and share the same joy and ecstasy with your friends and you don’t know how to go about it, right?
Life is a journey and a lot of things change. You change. You take your own course in life and lose contact with old friends. Your friends finish school and take their own ways in life. However, the bond that existed between you and your friends makes you want you to rekindle the same relationship again.Advertising
Technology has made the world a small place to live in. Check out these 5 simple ways to reconnect with your old friends.
1. Join the alumni association
If you are looking to reconnect with your friends or your lab partner in high school or college, joining the alumni association is one of the easiest ways to do so. Most high schools keep track of their students even after their graduation and keep detailed information about their workplace, phone number, and current address. Try contacting them and, if you’re in luck, you are sure to find your friends. However, some schools and colleges might not be able to share information over the phone due to privacy issues which will require you to visit the institution and get the details in person.
Everyone has an email today and it’s almost certain that you have your friends’ email addresses somewhere in your old diaries or notes from your college years. Perfect. All you need to do is find the email of your friends that you want to get connected to and start hitting the keyboard.Advertising
Confused on how to start the email? Pick a subject like “Hey Dan, It’s Mark” and start writing the message saying that you’ve been trying to reconnect for a while and just wanted to say hi. Easy!
3. Facebook Message
Facebook is the world’s biggest form of social media today, with over 728 million daily users. Everyone’s on Facebook and it’s one of the easiest places you can find people to connect with. Even if you don’t know the email of your friend, you can find them just with their name. Even though you might get a lot of search results for the same name, you can find your friend through their profile picture. All you need to do next is add them or shoot them a message saying that you wanted to know what they’ve been doing lately.
Not just that, you can also keep updated with the progress of your friends by seeing their status updates, images, and videos that they’ve shared (if any).Advertising
4. Phone Call
Another option that you have to reconnect with your old friends is the telephone. All you need to do is pick up the phone, dial the number, and speak to them. If you don’t have their number, try calling their office (if you know where they work) or you can also use search engines like Google to figure out their current digits.
This might be an old school idea, but the voice of your friend, even if you leave a message, will keep you boosted and energized — and more likely to continue pursuing this reconnection.
5. Find a public database
A lot of information regarding people is available in public records and database that are available to access online for free. Sites listing Free Public Records allow you to find details regarding addresses, places of work, and relations for free. You can also call the city hall or the municipal government of the place your friend last lived to get details regarding their phone number and address, though it might take a lot of time.Advertising
Another free and simple-to-use database is a site called Pipl.com, which gives you information about the place of residence of your friend, with just his or her name, in a matter of seconds.
Getting in touch with your old friends can bring in a lot of excitement and nostalgia, all at the same time. Make sure to reminisce about the old moments while also planning to connect with them further and make new memories in the future.
Featured photo credit: Pinky Promise via pixabay.com
The Gentle Art of Saying No
It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.
But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.
What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.
But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:
- Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
- Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
- Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
- Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
- Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
- Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
- Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
- Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
- Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
- It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.
Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com