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10 Things Only Step-Siblings Can Relate To

10 Things Only Step-Siblings Can Relate To

When your parents first remarried, you could never imagine sharing your life with a step-sibling. Now, you can’t imagine life without them. Here are a few things that only individuals with step-siblings can relate to:

You know what it is like to not share the same childhood

Acquiring a new sibling means that you have a lot of catching up to do, since you did not share a childhood. Photos help a lot and so do home videos. It’s surprising, but after a while you get to know each others’ pasts so well that you often forget that you did not grow up under the same roof.

You understand the hardship of constantly having to explain your blended family to everyone

Introducing your new family can be no easy matter. You hate having to explain that your parents remarried and that you have step-siblings now, because to you they simply feel like your biological family. It gets even harder if both parents remarry. It often involves drawing diagrams and using nearby objects to describe your current family situation.

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You deal with a constantly changing number of people at your house

The number of people in your house is always in flux, since all the children rotate between different sets of parents. When you’re at your mom’s house you have three siblings, but when you are at your dad’s it is back down to only you and your sister. It’s confusing to constantly switch family dynamics, but on the plus side it always keeps life interesting.

You get to have the older/younger sibling you’ve always wanted

Deep down you always wanted to have an older sister to steal clothes from and ask all your boy questions. Your wish came true when your mom remarried and you acquired a wise older sister that you would not trade for the world.

Your holidays are a bit more complicated

The holidays will never be simple, but then again when are they ever? Dividing your time between two families can be anything but calm, but on the bright side at least you get double the presents and two holiday feasts.

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You make alliances with your parents during their fights

Fights between your mom and dad are bound to happen, and it’s hard for step-children to not take sides with their own parent. Your mom is used to doing something one way, but your step-dad does not always agree. You feel automatically inclined to defend your mom, even if you do not completely agree with her.

Your birth order gets thrown out the window

You have been the oldest sister to your younger brother for as long as you can remember. That is, until your dad remarried. Now you’re the middle child, and that’s taken a long time to come to terms with.

Your chores became a whole lot more complex

Chores are never an easy thing to assign, but doling out who does what in a blended family what can be a chore in itself. On top of everything else, there’s also the task of combining two different families’ ideas of how chores need to be carried out.

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You know evil step-sisters (and brothers) only exist in fairy tales

Blame it on Cinderella, but step-siblings have a bad rap. The reality is that your new siblings are a whole new support team that has your back no matter what.

You know it takes some time getting used to sharing your mom or dad

One of the hardest parts about having a blended family is learning to share your own mom or dad with your new step-siblings. Over the years it gets easier as you become closer and you could not imagine anyone else as your family.

Step-siblings can create a complex family dynamic, but you know that in the end there is no one you would rather have as your sisters and brothers. After all, you know that family is not defined by blood, but rather those who you could not live without.

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Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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