Advertising
Advertising

7 Ways Humility Can Make You a Leader

7 Ways Humility Can Make You a Leader

When you think of the worst leaders that you’ve encountered in your lifetime, what traits do you recall? Did they lead with a heavy hand? Did they exhibit poor communication skills? Or were they simply know-it-alls with no desire to learn from their peers and employees? What they almost certainly have in common is lack of humility. Unfortunately, humility is commonly not rewarded and self-promotion prevails. What many of these leaders haven’t discovered is that humility is an underrated and powerful leadership trait.

Jim Collins, a renowned management researcher, has invested years into studying what make companies successful. His article, Level 5 Leadership: The Triumph of Humility and Fierce Resolve, published by the Harvard Business Review summarizes his research from a five-year study. Collins learned that out of 1,435 Fortune 500 companies, only 11 reached persistent success with stock returns three or more times the market. What these companies have in common is they have what Collins refers to as Level 5 Leaders at the helm. Level 5 Leaders possess a combination of two important skills: humility and professional will.

Can you learn humility or is it a natural trait? Keep reading to learn 7 behaviors implicit of those who possess humility and how it makes them successful leaders.

Advertising

1. They Don’t Toot Their Own Horns

Jim Collins is quoted as saying “Level 5 leaders are a study in duality: modest and willful, humble and fearless.” Think about the leaders that you respect. Do they boast about their accomplishments, intelligence and experience, or is their understated but obvious confidence enough to build your admiration?

When we ponder the best leaders in history who possess the duality that Collins discusses, Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln, and Eleanor Roosevelt come to mind. These leaders displayed confidence, strength and boldness, without tooting their own horns. They gave credit where credit was due and also exhibited a fierce will to succeed in their missions.

2. They Get Their Hands Dirty

When business leaders are in touch with their employees and customers, they make better decisions about their businesses and build rapport. Leaders in any type of organization and at any level can ultimately be successful by being in touch and joining with the people in the trenches. This practice is referred to as MBWA “Managing By Wandering Around,” which was originally coined by John Young, President of Hewlett Packard, and was made famous by management guru Tom Peters.

Advertising

If you want to stand out in a time when a top-down management approach is popular, make an effort to get to know the people in your organization and step into their roles to understand the events that you would otherwise miss. For example, the undeniable leader Steve Jobs, although considered a narcissist by many, demonstrated qualities of humility by getting his hands dirty. CNN reported that Jobs personally responded to some customer service requests while at Apple.

3. They Empower Those Around Them

Leaders who manage with a heavy hand and don’t gather input from their employees are less successful than those who trust their employees. Contrary to this, leaders who possess humility empower others around them to make decisions. Effective leaders hire the best resources and trust them. When they know they have the right people on board, they follow a bottom-up management style, which empowers employees to assist in the process of making decisions about the actions necessary to attain goals. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.”

4. They Don’t Play the Blame Game

When success occurs, leaders who exhibit humility give credit to their team members and to other factors. If failure occurs, they accept responsibility for it. What many leaders don’t realize is that accepting blame actually empowers them to take responsibility to fix the problem. For example, imagine you’re the leader of a sales organization and your sales team is not performing at a level that’s acceptable. A leader who doesn’t exhibit humility might blame the marketing team for lack of leads, the product team for poor product or others involved in the sales process. A leader who exhibits humility blames oneself and develops a plan to improve performance.

Advertising

5. They Think Long-Term

Leaders who make quick decisions in order to fix something today that will in no way benefit the organization in the long-term are not acting with humility. A great example of making short-term decisions is the common practice of profitable companies downsizing in order to appease shareholders. Typically, layoffs reduce expenses so the numbers are favorable in the short-term, which increases the stock price. This short-term fix doesn’t put long-term profits or employee productivity at top of mind. It typically hurts employee morale, puts more stress on the employees who survive the layoff and hinders progress. Thinking long term keeps companies relevant for employees, customers and shareholders for years to come.

6. They Exhibit Social Responsibility

Corporate leaders who possess humility strive to elicit positive social change. For example, USA Today reported that Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz said, “You can achieve the fragile balance between profitability and the social conscience and as a result of that your company can do better and success is best when it is shared.” For corporations, examples of  social responsibility include providing time off for employees to volunteer, matching employee’s charitable donations, reducing environmental footprints and practicing ethical sourcing. For leaders of smaller groups, volunteering and performing other charitable acts sets an example for others in your organization and shows humility.

7. They Are Dedicated to the Growth of People

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” Leaders who possess humility are dedicated to the professional and personal growth of the people in their businesses or organizations. They don’t hold information close to their vests; rather they practice mentoring and provide guidance to other individuals by passing on important skills, information and other knowledge. They take the time to invest in young employees, next-generation leaders and those who are new to their organization.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Applause/Barney Moss via flic.kr

More by this author

Marilyn Rogers

Marketing Consultant | Content Strategist | Freelance Writer

Five Reasons Why Consuming News Excessively is Bad For Your Health How You Deal With A Problem Largely Reflects Who You Are Study Finds Yoga An Effective Cure For Migraine Headaches Doctors Tell Us How Hiking Can Change Our Brains 8 Tips to Set Up Your Home Office for Serious Productivity

Trending in Communication

1 How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often 2 How to Fight Your Irrational Fears And Stay Strong 3 Feeling Frustrated in Life? 8 Ways to Get Back on Track 4 8 Ways to Change Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviors 5 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 8, 2020

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Advertising

Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’

From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

Advertising

How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.

The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Advertising

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.

4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

Advertising

6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’

If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

Final Thoughts

Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.

Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.

More Self-Care Tips

Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

Read Next