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8 Signs You’re Highly Empathetic Even If You Don’t Notice It

8 Signs You’re Highly Empathetic Even If You Don’t Notice It

Many people are highly empathetic, but some don’t notice it. They might believe they are different in a profound way, but they aren’t able to define what makes them unique or completely comprehend their emotional experiences. Being highly empathetic means that you can share and identify with the emotions of another person because you can easily step into their shoes. What highly empathetic people have in common is the uncanny ability to sense what others feel and think.

It’s important to distinguish between people who are highly empathetic and those who are empaths. When your emotions and experiences cross over into being indistinguishable from your own, such as you feel others’ physical and emotional pain as if it’s your own, you’re an empath.

Scientists are in the early stages of studying the correlation between empathy and our brains. Thus, as an example, researchers from the Department of Medicine at Penn State University concluded that that there is a neurologic basis for empathy.

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Do you think you might be highly empathetic? Check out these 8 signs and see how many to which you relate.

1. You are a Great Listener

People who are highly empathetic focus on listening, rather than speaking because they want to put themselves in the other person’s situation. In order to truly understand the difficulties or triumphs that the other person is feeling, they want to know all the details about what is happening in the other person’s life. They carefully listen to the words as well as study any non-verbal clues. They’re also mindful, meaning they’re focusing their thoughts in the present moment and staying engaged in the conversation.

2. You are a Source of Advice and Support

Highly empathetic people who are capable of naturally investing in the emotions of others become a source of advice, support and guidance for others — both personally and professionally. Their excellent listening skills help them offer well thought out advice, while making others feel appreciated, accepted and loved. The combination of their ability to listen well and to share in others’ feelings make them excellent counselors. This is why highly empathetic people gravitate to helping professions, such as therapists, teachers and medical practitioners.

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3. You are a Natural Leader

People who are highly empathetic easily build trust with their employees, students and others because of their natural capacity for compassion, excellent listening skills and honest interest in people. Highly empathetic leaders are active listeners, which fosters and cultivates open communication because of the trust that this skill builds. When a culture of trust is established in any type of group, progress and productivity flourish.

4. You Find Social Situations Draining

Social situations can be draining for highly empathetic people and they’re particularly draining for empaths, introverts, and highly sensitive people. Empathy generally provokes both positive and negative emotions, which can quickly make those with these abilities feel exhausted when overstimulated. In fact, according to this study from the University of Haifa in Isreal, social phobia is linked to elevated sensitivity to other peoples’ states of mind.

5. You Put the Needs of Others First

Those who are highly empathetic are inclined to take care of others before taking care of themselves. They completely put themselves in the shoes of the people or animals that they are caring for, putting others first over their own needs. Because they are highly empathetic, they are able to make excellent decisions about how their care affects the other person or animal both emotionally and physically, but might neglect their own needs.

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6. You Can Detect Positive and Negative Vibes

All matter in the universe, including our body, is in a constant state of vibration or movement. Vibrations from our bodies are spread to the space around us. Empaths are able to naturally feel this energy and interpret emotions that others are sending out — both positive and negative. Highly empathetic people can also recognize good and bad vibes, but they might require additional input, such as body language and verbal cues. For example, have you ever walked into a meeting a few minutes late and you know something wasn’t right? You instantly feel down, but there’s no logical explanation for it. Most likely, you are an empath or highly empathetic.

7. You Especially Enjoy Relationships with Your Pets

Animals instinctively know when people truly care about them. They’re attracted to people who are highly empathetic and highly sensitive, as described in this article about things highly sensitive people do differently. Consequently, those who are highly empathetic are able to form symbiotic relationships with their pets and other animals. With that being said, those who have a remarkable ability to understand the mental state in animals, such as the horse whisperer in the book from Nicholas Evans, can be described as “animal empaths.”

8. You are Successful in Sales

Highly empathetic people excel in sales because they’re able to put themselves in the shoes of a prospect and understand that person’s wants and needs. Furthermore, great salespeople build trust with prospects when they show that they truly care about the person’s requirements and desires. Of course, all great salespeople know that trust is essential for developing excellent relationships with clients and prospects, and highly empathetic salespeople have fine-tuned the ability to build this trust.

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Featured photo credit: My beautiful sisters :)/ellyn. via flic.kr

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Marilyn Rogers

Marketing Consultant | Content Strategist | Freelance Writer

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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