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The 15 Best Compliments You Could Ever Give/Receive

The 15 Best Compliments You Could Ever Give/Receive

You probably have received them and given them as well. They are compliments: expressions of praise or admiration.

Often compliments are centered around one’s physical appearance, body, clothing, hair, makeup, style. You might compliment a male co-worker on his new suit or a friend on the fragrance of her perfume. And while receiving these physical compliments can give you a quick ego boost, the most resounding and heartfelt compliments tend to focus on your character or the innate inner qualities you possess which make you unique!

Receiving a compliment which is spoken with sincerity always ramps up your “feel good” meter.  It demonstrates that another person values your qualities and ideas. But did you know that giving a compliment to someone else can be just as (or even more) powerful to you and create wonderful energy? The pure act of giving a compliment which is genuine boosts your own positivity. Why? Because you will make someone else feel good! That positive energy you just created will most likely be met with a smile or a “thank you”. Then you smile back.  Like attracts like. What a wonderful way to uplift someone’s day !

Here are 15 wonderful compliments to give or to receive:

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1. You are nothing less than special.

This compliment is one of my favorites and was spoken to me long ago  by a dear friend who holds my heart.  It implies that you are adored, loved and admired. Its simply beautiful.

2. You are one of a kind.

These words, when spoken in a positive light, imply that you are very unique, special and unlike others in one or many ways. You are being recognized exactly for that because you possess a noticeable good quality which many others do not. Your uniqueness is being recognized and honored.

3. You always make people smile.

A smile always seems to help in even some of the most despairing situations. These kind words shine your happy-go-lucky attitude and genuine desire to make others feel good. Smiles are contagious, so practice them often.

4. You are always there for me.

If you ever want to express your trust in someone and let her know she can count on you, then this compliment is the one to say. Offering dependability, accountability and a shoulder to lean on during challenges is always a good thing.

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5. You always see the bright side (of things).

Ah, this compliment is a telltale sign about your perspective and how you view and respond to circumstances which may not always be under your control.  Namely, you see the glass as “half full”. You exhibit a positive spirit and can always see the upside (benefits) in any situation.

6. You would make/you are a beautiful mother/father.

Partners often say this to one another when they are contemplating having a family or already have children.  It expresses the acknowledgment that they see kind, caring and loving “parenting” qualities in the other. It honors the giving spirit of a parent.

7. You always throw a great party.

Hosting a party entails a great deal of time, energy and work. If your friend consistently throws a wonderful gathering time and time again, then tell him so.  You are acknowledging his time, expense, social skills, and his uncanny ability to make his guests feel comfortable and allow them to enjoy themselves.

8. You are the best friend/mother/father/wife/husband/partner anyone could ask for.

This compliment could be said to almost anyone as long as its spoken with sincerity. It embodies friendship, care, trust and closeness. Being the “best” in anything means you rank #1!

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9. You never cease to amaze me (spoken in a positive light).

When you give this compliment to another, you are sharing your thoughts about his ability to persever, to be adventurous, or to be unique and consistent  in his actions. Perhaps he justs bowls you over with kindness. Whatever it is he does, he keeps finding ways to impress or astonish you.

10. You set such a great example for others.

If you are told this, be proud. You are exhibiting leadership qualities which others notice and for which you are commended. Not all people are great leaders so revel in someone taking notice of your values and your ability to motivate, inspire and guide others.

11. You raise the bar.

When you raise the bar, you are setting new (and higher) standards. If someone pays you this compliment, she is  implying that you are a high achiever not only able to do your best, but you set new (higher) levels of achievement for others to follow.

12. You always go the extra mile.

Say this to someone to express your acknowledgement that he exceeds the standards. He won’t accept doing “average”. He will go above and beyond what is required of him.

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13. You are always willing to lend a hand.

Express this compliment to friends, family or co-workers who are especially helpful. People who embrace this philothropic nature will go out of their way and perhaps accept personal sacrifices just in order to help someone in need. With their genuine desire to be accomodating and supporting,  they often do so unconditionally.

14. You walk the talk.

Yes, many people like to “talk the talk” but never “walk it”. This compliment signifies your “down to earth” attitude between your words/intentions and your actions. You say what you do and you do what you say. You have grit. You don’t pay lip service. You act in alignment with your intentions and your words.  Those who pay you this compliment believe you  are usually very dependable and have the ability to create much success in your life because you stand behind your words.

15. You have a heart of gold.

This is an oldie but goodie. Having a heart of gold (a precious metal) indicates you are kind, understanding, supportive and giving. Since gold is a rare metal, these words imply that the kindness you possess is rare like gold.

Know that the power of the intention and compliments you give is strong. Highlight other’s strengths, forgive their weaknesses. Accept others’ compliments with grace.

In the words of Dr. Steve Maraboli, “….I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words wherever I go. I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds, and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater.”

Featured photo credit: Carlos ZGZ via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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