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Do These 20 Simple Things To Treat Yourself With Love and Kindness

Do These 20 Simple Things To Treat Yourself With Love and Kindness

Even the most highly evolved person can remain their own worst critic. As we strive to become more loving and accepting of others, we must first direct the love and acceptance toward ourselves. This is called self-compassion. According to Kristin Neff , a scientist whose research focuses on self-compassion, we need to begin by quieting our own inner critic. She identifies the three components of self-compassion as self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.

Self-kindness is the desire to alleviate suffering. Treating oneself with care and understanding. Common humanity is our ability to see our personal experience as part of a larger human experience. Mindfulness is the ability stay present and avoid emotional extremes or suppression.

Why Don’t People Show Themselves Compassion?

In our busy lives we often want to rush right into problem solving mode before we have actually spent a moment feeling our feelings. Accepting them. And deciding why we feel that way and if it works for us. Why isn’t this self-compassionate way of thinking more prevalent? Some of the reasons people don’t afford themselves compassion and love include:

  1. Confusing self-compassion with a pity party.
  2. Difficulty interpreting the difference constructive criticism and bullying.
  3. Seeing self-care as over-indulgent
  4. Misinterpreting our compassion as excuses for our short-comings.
  5. Believing that the best way to motivate yourself to change is by being critical of you are today.

The good thing is that once you cultivate an attitude of acceptance for yourself you will find these benefits accompany it. For example, self-compassion offers the same advantages as high self-esteem and people who love themselves have steadier emotions. When people who accept themselves are able to discuss their negatives, they are able to buffer the emotional blow by using “we” instead of me as they share common humanity. Other benefits of self acceptance are compassion for yourself, freeing yourself from comparison to others, and increasing happiness.

20 Ways to Treat Yourself with Kindness

If you are convinced that being loving, kind, and accepting of yourself is something to prioritize, here are 20 ways to start treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated. Pick a few to try each day.

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1. Take a walk

2. Indulge in a treat like imported cheese, chocolate or some salty fries

3. Buy a new book

4. Have a picnic lunch

5. Skip a chore you really dislike

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6. Plant a flower

7. Throw yourself a kitchen dance party while you cook

8. Use the good dishes and make your table Martha Stewart worthy

9. Wear your most comfortable clothing

10. Clear your closet clutter and donate the things you don’t need to someone who needs them

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11. Give yourself a facial

12. Smile at yourself in the mirror

13. Listen to an inspiring podcast

14. Start a gratitude journal- list three things you are thankful for every night before you go to bed

15. Buy a better pillow- sleep well and your day will feel more smooth and relaxed

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16. Have coffee with a friend you haven’t seen in awhile

17. Invite someone intriguing but outside your normal social circle to lunch or to dinner

18. Plan a party

19. Register for a retreat

20. Pick one thing you have always wanted to do (like flying lessons or hot yoga) and do it!

Deciding to focus on habits that help you to flourish means knowing a bit about what boosts you happiness. For some it’s time alone, for others, a party. Becoming a student of who you are and what you like will help provide clarity as to how you can use simple hacks to increase your self-acceptance. When you love yourself this energy causes you to become more attractive to others. Remember, you are the priority here. Don’t be a martyr. Put yourself first. As the saying goes “You can’t pour from an empty cup”.

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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