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This Is What Happens When You Disconnect For 24 Hours

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This Is What Happens When You Disconnect For 24 Hours

If you’re like me, you know it’s hard as anything, un-tethering yourself from your smartphone, iPad and laptop – first at work and then at home. Frankly, to disconnect can be tough as withdrawal (not kidding, folks).

But hey, you know it’s hurting your relationships at home and work. People have told you to your face to stop. But you just can’t. There’s always something pulling you toward that Facebook feed, that Pinterest board, then CNN for news, then TMZ (ok, you’re on your own, if that’s the case). Then once again, a vicious cycle.

Today’s the day. You have decided to “forget” your phone and other electronics, leave them be and see what happens.

It isn’t easy, let me tell you, but the best thing that has happened to me since I started roughly 7 years ago. It gives me back a solid, memorable block of time with family and friends, to reconnect, reflect, recharge, restore my “default setting,” if you will. You see, when I was 25, I started keeping Sabbath – the Jewish Sabbath, in my case. Since then, it’s literally my religion to turn off my phone and all devices from sundown on Friday for 25 hours.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

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1. Your mind will start to clear up from a fog.

Perhaps you can’t remember that last time you found yourself without a working phone or Wifi. Perhaps it was during a hike upstate, up in a plane somewhere or after drowning your iPhone. Sadly, it felt like wasted time. In fact, it was a golden opportunity you missed to rest, to write, reflect, to change things up, to feel more human.

Between the pull of business and the personal, between e-mail and fear of missing out, I’ll be the first to call myself a smartphone addict. However, when that sundown hits on Friday, I turn on “Do Not Disturb” and put the phone away. The endless whirl of tasks and people wanting my attention ceases. The constant pressure of my fear of wasting time begins to lift. My mind and thoughts turn to the Sabbath table, spending time with family. The simple act of eating – and enjoying dinner – with my wife and daughter, sometimes friends is wonderful and human and refreshing. Wine flows, we eat amazing food. Nobody’s in a rush somewhere. When someone asks you how you are, you really take the time to think, reflect and answer thoughtfully. You start remembering just how important family is, how precious your time is with them and friends.

2. You’ll get to infuse your life with novelty again.

The week is all about the auto-pilot. Wake up, then brush your teeth, jump in the subway, get to work, check email, send your updates, then have lunch, back out for coffee around 3 PM, then home at 5 (or later). Once you get home, its not long until you go to bed! And in between, you sneak in Facebook, Pinterest (and TMZ, G-d help you).

Saturday morning, I wake up whenever, no alarm. I spend the best time with my family, eating breakfast, catching up, playing with my daughter, reading a book I’ve long abandoned, a new magazine.

We see the people that we really like – people that like us back, invite us over often, plus new faces. One family gave birth this week, a son. Another’s kid is now engaged. Somebody else got honored at their job. We celebrate the good, reflect on bad things happening and try to make sense of them, leaving with actionable wisdom we can use throughout the week and year. We take a walk. There is a gorgeous garden on the way back home. Imagine everything you are missing in the world around you!

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3. You’ll notice your senses will revive.

Being busy is easy throughout the week. The weekend can be packed, as well, visiting bars and restaurants, flea markets, brunch, whatever. That pull of being connected is still there. You still can’t focus on the awesome dish you ordered – here’s a text! The wine’s aroma is not quite the same – Mom’s calling!

The simple fact of being away from my devices makes me pause and focus on the food and drink and people right before me, their ideas, my own. I stop, reflect, try to make sense of all the madness going on around me. It puts the busy-ness to rest. Because I can’t be bothered by an email or call or buzz or ring, I start remembering the times when I was young and unconnected. This brings me back to NOW, not the next thing today, tomorrow or next week or month. I like the smell of coffee, tossing an idea around, maybe to read a book together with my daughter, horse around with funny faces, sounds, language constructions or whatever else just comes to mind.

4. You’ll see that time will start to slow down.

The Sabbath is no longer than another day. But when you step away and don’t let others push their emails and demands on you, the time just stretches.

Taking a day off from the rat race – and its long tentacles through technology – brings me back to my original, childhood state for a day. I can laugh and read books I like and have long conversations about things that are really interesting to me without feeling guilty that I’m wasting precious time. I pack so much into those daylight hours on Friday night and Saturday that it makes me wonder why the weekdays seem so short, in comparison.

5. You’ll have a fuller and more meaningful because of rest.

I can’t emphasize how critical taking one day off is for having a productive week. The rest of the week is that much more filled and productive because I can’t work and move things forward (except in my mind) on the Sabbath.

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Since I’ve started keeping the Sabbath, the paradigm has flipped on its head. I don’t do Sabbath to make for a more fulfilling week. I do a fulfilling week so I can do the Sabbath properly. Because there’s seemingly less time when I have to take off a day, it makes me more eager to accomplish more during the rest of week  and I do!

6. You’ll forget the week’s stresses.

Hello, sleep! Byebye, red, tired eyes. Byebye, ADD. Byebye, guilt. Today, I rest and all of life’s stresses can go fly a kite. Maybe I’ll go fly a kite, myself!

In all seriousness, just taking a nap in the middle of the day after lunch can totally change your week by letting you catch up from those nights with too little sleep. It will really, truly recharge your batteries and give you amazing energy to tackle whatever your issues are with a renewed strength and resolve.

7. You’ll regain purpose in life and remember the reasons why you’re working like a dog through the rest of the week.

It’s not just for your career advancement, more money, more recognition, more stuff you can buy. It’s for your family, for humanity, for your growth and development as a human being. You have a mission in life – to improve the human condition in your particular, unique way. You want great experiences in your life, not just more stuff. A day off from the pressures of the outside world helps you to return to your roots as a human being – not just a cog in some machine.

8. You’ll have a chance to stop and understand what you’re doing wrong.

Without distractions from work or friends and family, you have a rare chance to do some soul-searching and understand what needs fixing. The acknowledgement and calling a spade, a spade is the first step to lasting change for the better.

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How many times did I have a really bad week and then because of the Sabbath mindset, found a way to move the needle forward on one problem or another? Simply changing my routine a day often uncovered novel solutions or ideas from people I met or a new book or article I read – because I had time and opportunity for it. Breaking my routine and seeing my problems in a different light has been invaluable to transforming myself for the better.

9. You’ll notice improvement in physical and mental health.

Taking the time to cook dinner properly, being surrounded by people you love, ample sleep and real stress relief all have a measurable positive effect on your physical health and mental well-being. Unplugging helps me keep my sanity, focus better, get more down time, plus good food and time with people I enjoy. The rest is commentary.

10. You’ll be more likely to get to work on improving yourself.

This has a tangible difference in pushing you forward after the time you’ve had to rest, reflect and come in contact with new ideas, people and strategies for improvement. You’ll be like a lion rearing to go because you won’t want to go back to being the same person you were a day before. This is how you change things for the better, week after week, regardless of whatever setbacks the week brought you.

Featured photo credit: Death to the Stock Photo via deathtothestockphoto.us5.list-manage2.com

More by this author

Yuri Kruman

Business Coach, Executive Coach + Career Strategist

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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