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6 Valuable Thoughts About Relationships That Every Millennial Should Understand

6 Valuable Thoughts About Relationships That Every Millennial Should Understand

Dating nowadays is tricky. Defining whether you’re “talking” or “seeing each other” or “dating” seemingly has never been more complicated. For every decent relationship that last a few months, you get several dozen that are utter disaster from the get-go. But it does not have to be that way. Because of how complicated relationships and dating have become, we have compiled a list of dating tips that Millenials need to understand.

1. The person who cares more loses.

It’s tough to think of dating as a game, but the way relationships play out nowadays, it totally is. The person who cares more, invests more, does more, does not succeed in relationships anymore. This is likely because relationships are supposed to come naturally, and when you are acting out of character by caring more, it will reflect in how you treat your partner.

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2. Good relationships are not good all the time or all at once.

Our generation has a serious need for instant gratification. Whether it’s via online shopping or video entertainment or whatever else, Millenials are primed to order what they want and then receive it immediately. Relationships are not like that at all. They have peaks and valleys and last longer, and they don’t just arrive and overwhelm all at once. This is a tough one for Millenials to learn, but real relationships are more than just instant.

3. You can’t reset a relationship.

I remember being a kid and playing The Sims on my computer with my sister. We would build a house, start a family, and play it out. Inevitably, something would go wrong, and we would simply be able to restart the game from the beginning. In relationships, it is not like this. You have to be delicate and careful, considerate, involved, and directed at all times. Once something happens a relationship, it stays, and you cannot get rid of it. The only option is to work through it.

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4. The person they are on social media is not the person they are in real life.

Social media allows each of us to individually curate what we share and to develop a persona that is nearly the ideal person we wish we could be. Before getting into a relationship, we all need to realize that the person who is physically in front of us is the only real person we are trying to date. No matter how many happy photos there are on Facebook or how many celebrities they’ve selfied with on Instagram, they are just the person sitting across from you at dinner, no more, no less.

5. Chivalry is not dead, but it can be used as a test.

This one is mostly for guys. It’s 2015, and many girls will say that they don’t need doors held or for the man to get the check. But if it’s a real date that may lead to a real relationship, be casual about the bill and see if she is willing to split the tab. If she is, it’s likely she not just here because of the free meal and to stave off boredom, but rather because she is actually interested in you and a relationship. This won’t work everywhere, but, if it does, you can start putting a few eggs in the proverbial basket if you want.

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6. It will never be like in the movies, and it shouldn’t be.

If ever your dating life starts feeling like a John Hughes movie, maybe you should take a break. And if at any point, your relationship feels like that of the Nicholas Sparks movie The Notebook, you should probably end it. Those relationships are interesting because they are dramatic and unrealistic, and if anything you encounter resembles that, the person on the other end is probably mentally ill. I mean, in The Notebook, Ryan Gosling’s character refurbishes an entire house in the hopes that Rachel McAdams will notice. Is there any circumstance in which that would be normal in real life? I didn’t think so.

Featured photo credit: Couple Holding Hands/Fred Randolphkab via flickr.com

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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