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6 Valuable Thoughts About Relationships That Every Millennial Should Understand

6 Valuable Thoughts About Relationships That Every Millennial Should Understand

Dating nowadays is tricky. Defining whether you’re “talking” or “seeing each other” or “dating” seemingly has never been more complicated. For every decent relationship that last a few months, you get several dozen that are utter disaster from the get-go. But it does not have to be that way. Because of how complicated relationships and dating have become, we have compiled a list of dating tips that Millenials need to understand.

1. The person who cares more loses.

It’s tough to think of dating as a game, but the way relationships play out nowadays, it totally is. The person who cares more, invests more, does more, does not succeed in relationships anymore. This is likely because relationships are supposed to come naturally, and when you are acting out of character by caring more, it will reflect in how you treat your partner.

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2. Good relationships are not good all the time or all at once.

Our generation has a serious need for instant gratification. Whether it’s via online shopping or video entertainment or whatever else, Millenials are primed to order what they want and then receive it immediately. Relationships are not like that at all. They have peaks and valleys and last longer, and they don’t just arrive and overwhelm all at once. This is a tough one for Millenials to learn, but real relationships are more than just instant.

3. You can’t reset a relationship.

I remember being a kid and playing The Sims on my computer with my sister. We would build a house, start a family, and play it out. Inevitably, something would go wrong, and we would simply be able to restart the game from the beginning. In relationships, it is not like this. You have to be delicate and careful, considerate, involved, and directed at all times. Once something happens a relationship, it stays, and you cannot get rid of it. The only option is to work through it.

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4. The person they are on social media is not the person they are in real life.

Social media allows each of us to individually curate what we share and to develop a persona that is nearly the ideal person we wish we could be. Before getting into a relationship, we all need to realize that the person who is physically in front of us is the only real person we are trying to date. No matter how many happy photos there are on Facebook or how many celebrities they’ve selfied with on Instagram, they are just the person sitting across from you at dinner, no more, no less.

5. Chivalry is not dead, but it can be used as a test.

This one is mostly for guys. It’s 2015, and many girls will say that they don’t need doors held or for the man to get the check. But if it’s a real date that may lead to a real relationship, be casual about the bill and see if she is willing to split the tab. If she is, it’s likely she not just here because of the free meal and to stave off boredom, but rather because she is actually interested in you and a relationship. This won’t work everywhere, but, if it does, you can start putting a few eggs in the proverbial basket if you want.

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6. It will never be like in the movies, and it shouldn’t be.

If ever your dating life starts feeling like a John Hughes movie, maybe you should take a break. And if at any point, your relationship feels like that of the Nicholas Sparks movie The Notebook, you should probably end it. Those relationships are interesting because they are dramatic and unrealistic, and if anything you encounter resembles that, the person on the other end is probably mentally ill. I mean, in The Notebook, Ryan Gosling’s character refurbishes an entire house in the hopes that Rachel McAdams will notice. Is there any circumstance in which that would be normal in real life? I didn’t think so.

Featured photo credit: Couple Holding Hands/Fred Randolphkab via flickr.com

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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