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6 for 20: The Biggest Mistakes You Can Avoid

6 for 20: The Biggest Mistakes You Can Avoid

What a phase our Twenties can be. Our mind goes from “you’re still young” to “get your shit together,” all in a matter of months. As we get older, we tend to dwell more on the mistakes we made than the mistakes we didn’t make.

From the day we were born, we listened to our parents. Some stopped at the age of 14, others stopped at 25. More than half of us didn’t even listen to the advice that was given (still love you mom and dad). You make a mistake, people tell you, “I told you so,” you roll your eyes and that is the LAST thing you want to hear. No matter how many times we are given advice or opinions, we will never listen until it has actually happened. It is okay, it’s called being human. But there comes a time in your life where if you are making the same mistakes over and over again, it’s time for a change.

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I will be the first to admit, as a 20 something, this early journey of mine has been quite a ride and trust me, I know for a fact, I have a lot ahead of me. Of course, I have made mistakes. Have I learned from some of those? Probably not. Will I ever want to change or avoid making that mistake happen a fifth time? Absolutely!

With the being said, here are 6 common mistakes that happen in your 20s that could have been avoided:

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Not Caring For Your Health

All those happy hour specials and $2 Tuesday’s at the local bar. Or the late night munchies so you stop by Taco Bell. And maybe you want that 6th cigarette because you are “stressed”. You might think you can handle it now, but you’ll pay for it later.

Getting Credit Cards

For some reason, we think credit cards are free money because we can pay it back later. It is pretty much free money until you get the bank statement with a due balance of $500. Simple advice really, don’t get yourself into debt. One is enough as it’s easier to keep track of and manage. Also, with one credit card, once you pay the payments on time, within 5 months, your limit can increase.

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Not Traveling

There is a saying: “you make time for things you want to do.” Traveling should be one of them. Stop with the excuses, there are numerous sites online who can email you deals on airline flights. Kayak.com, Priceline.com and Expedia.com. Explore this beautiful planet you live on. There is so much in this world that goes unseen and experienced. Let go and escape your world.

Dating

Before anything, there is no right or wrong way of dating. However, there is a smart way of dating. Stay away from the games. I am talking about playing with someone’s emotions or not being clear on what you want out of a relationship. Settling in a relationship that you are not happy with because you are afraid to be alone. Take the time to get to know someone before closing the connection. Be honest with yourself and figure out what you want.

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Giving Back

Going out to eat but leaving the waiter/waitress $1 because they forgot to fill your water up. Or spending $200 on a pair of jeans but not wanting to donate $2 to a children’s hospital. If you can afford this you can afford to give back $3 to a meaningful cause. Even if you received horrible service from your waiter/waitress, everyone has bad days. Most waiter/waitress make about $4-$5 an hour, it is not easy. Also, It won’t hurt to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

Featured photo credit: motion/Noelle Buske via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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