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6 for 20: The Biggest Mistakes You Can Avoid

6 for 20: The Biggest Mistakes You Can Avoid

What a phase our Twenties can be. Our mind goes from “you’re still young” to “get your shit together,” all in a matter of months. As we get older, we tend to dwell more on the mistakes we made than the mistakes we didn’t make.

From the day we were born, we listened to our parents. Some stopped at the age of 14, others stopped at 25. More than half of us didn’t even listen to the advice that was given (still love you mom and dad). You make a mistake, people tell you, “I told you so,” you roll your eyes and that is the LAST thing you want to hear. No matter how many times we are given advice or opinions, we will never listen until it has actually happened. It is okay, it’s called being human. But there comes a time in your life where if you are making the same mistakes over and over again, it’s time for a change.

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I will be the first to admit, as a 20 something, this early journey of mine has been quite a ride and trust me, I know for a fact, I have a lot ahead of me. Of course, I have made mistakes. Have I learned from some of those? Probably not. Will I ever want to change or avoid making that mistake happen a fifth time? Absolutely!

With the being said, here are 6 common mistakes that happen in your 20s that could have been avoided:

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Not Caring For Your Health

All those happy hour specials and $2 Tuesday’s at the local bar. Or the late night munchies so you stop by Taco Bell. And maybe you want that 6th cigarette because you are “stressed”. You might think you can handle it now, but you’ll pay for it later.

Getting Credit Cards

For some reason, we think credit cards are free money because we can pay it back later. It is pretty much free money until you get the bank statement with a due balance of $500. Simple advice really, don’t get yourself into debt. One is enough as it’s easier to keep track of and manage. Also, with one credit card, once you pay the payments on time, within 5 months, your limit can increase.

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Not Traveling

There is a saying: “you make time for things you want to do.” Traveling should be one of them. Stop with the excuses, there are numerous sites online who can email you deals on airline flights. Kayak.com, Priceline.com and Expedia.com. Explore this beautiful planet you live on. There is so much in this world that goes unseen and experienced. Let go and escape your world.

Dating

Before anything, there is no right or wrong way of dating. However, there is a smart way of dating. Stay away from the games. I am talking about playing with someone’s emotions or not being clear on what you want out of a relationship. Settling in a relationship that you are not happy with because you are afraid to be alone. Take the time to get to know someone before closing the connection. Be honest with yourself and figure out what you want.

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Giving Back

Going out to eat but leaving the waiter/waitress $1 because they forgot to fill your water up. Or spending $200 on a pair of jeans but not wanting to donate $2 to a children’s hospital. If you can afford this you can afford to give back $3 to a meaningful cause. Even if you received horrible service from your waiter/waitress, everyone has bad days. Most waiter/waitress make about $4-$5 an hour, it is not easy. Also, It won’t hurt to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

Featured photo credit: motion/Noelle Buske via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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