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This Is Why You Shouldn’t Make Your Bed Anymore

This Is Why You Shouldn’t Make Your Bed Anymore

Hey, fellow anti-bed-makers!

I have some good and bad news to share with you today.

All my life I’ve been in the anti-bed-making group, and now I’ve found a scientific reason why making your bed is bad. Yay! That’s great, right? The article proves that it’s okay, even good, to not make your bed!

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Well, here’s where the bad news comes in.

You see, the reason to not make your bed is repulsive. Frankly, I would rather not think about the creepy critters who have made their home in my bed…

CREEPY CRAWLY MICROSCOPIC CREATURES CALLED DUST MITES THRIVE IN YOUR BED

Dust mites are close relatives of spiders and ticks. They are very tiny, too small to be seen with the naked eye.

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Here are some facts about dust mites from the Allergy & Asthma Foundation of America:

Dust mites are white and have eight legs, like spiders. They “spend their lives moving about, eating, reproducing and eliminating waste products.” Adult mites live for 2 to 4 months, and female dust mites may lay 100 eggs. Yuck!

The Mayo Clinic website says that dust mites don’t drink water. Instead, they absorb water from humidity in the atmosphere.

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THEY LOVE TO EAT YOUR DEAD SKIN

Dust mites survive by eating the dead skin you shed. According to the Allergy & Asthma Foundation of America, the average person sheds 1.5 grams of skin per day, which is enough to feed 1 million dust mites! Can you picture the feeding frenzy? Tons of mini-spider-like dust mites crawling around you while you sleep, gobbling up on the buffet of all the dead skin you shed?

THEY THRIVE AND MULTIPLY IN YOUR BED

They love the warm, humid environment in your bed. They are all under your covers and multiply there while you sleep. Even if your house looks very clean, dust mites have likely infested your bed. Your bedroom is their favorite place in your house, according to studies. And your house likely has millions of dust mites even if it looks impeccably clean. Millions of them. All. Over. Your. House.

PROBLEMS THEY CAUSE

Even if your house isn’t visibly dirty, you can suffer from problems due to dust mites. Dust mites are a common cause of asthma in kids. According to this article, they are the most common cause of allergies related to house dust. Mayo Clinic’s website states that chronic inflammation of tissues in your nasal passages caused by allergy to dust mites can obstruct your sinuses, which may increase your likeliness of developing sinus infections.

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WHY YOU SHOULDN’T MAKE YOUR BED

According to researcher Dr. Stephen Pretlove, “Something as simple as leaving a bed unmade during the day can remove moisture from the sheets and mattress so the mites will dehydrate and eventually die.”

Fewer dust mites means less grossness, less allergies, and less asthma – sounds like good news all around to me!

OTHER WAYS TO GET RID OF DUST MITES

This article has a variety of additional recommendations for decreasing the amount of dust mites living in your home:

  • Vacuuming only removes about 5% of them, because they burrow deep into your pillows, mattresses, furniture, and carpet. Special vacuum cleaner filters can help keep them from circulating back into the air, though.
  • Cover your mattress and pillows in dust-proof, zippered covers. These special covers have pores too small to let mites inside.
  • Wash blankets and sheets in hot water (at least 130 degrees F) to kill the mites. Do this weekly. Cold water can leave up to 10% of the mites alive.
  • Decrease humidity in your home by using a dehumidifier.

Well goodnight everyone, sleep tight, and don’t let the dust mites bite…

Featured photo credit: Bed linen/Marla Morri via flickr.com

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Dr. Kerry Petsinger

Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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