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7 Clever Responses to Stop Negative People from Whining

7 Clever Responses to Stop Negative People from Whining

You are starting to feel your energy fizzle, as your mood drifts to a dark place. You try your best to stay positive, but ultimately, you end up feeling completely drained and even depressed. You’ve just encountered another negative person that has managed to suck all of the life out of you, with their whining and complaining.

You try your best to be supportive by agreeing with them or even getting annoyed on their behalf. This just seems to get them even more fired up and takes them through the dark cycle of repeating the same stories and the same complaints that you’ve heard many times before. Moods are contagious and you must be proactive to protect yourself from letting negative people bring you down. In order to avoid getting infected by pessimism, you must use clever conversational strategies to redirect their attention away from the source of their negativity.

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Here are 7 clever ways to respond to pessimism that will lighten the mood and keep the conversation flowing in a more positive direction.

1. “Wow, you seem really upset. Let’s talk about something else so you are able to cool down.”

This response shows empathy by offering to change subjects with their best interests in mind. When someone is extremely emotional, it’s best to completely change the topic. Their emotions will be way too high to have any reasonable conversation about the subject that set them off.

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2. “That sounds like a tough spot to be in. How are you going to get past it?”

With this reply, you are acknowledging their struggle. Negative people have a high desire to feel heard. Once you’ve empathized with their situation you can easily redirect them towards thinking of solutions. They will likely have a lot of pride and want to come up with one on the spot. If they say “I have no idea” then you may offer to help them brainstorm some ideas.

3. “I’m impressed at how well you are handling this situation.”

People who complain are usually craving attention. Most of the time, when someone is negative towards others, they are also very negative towards themselves. If you give them the love and praise they are craving, then this could disarm them and break them out of their negative thinking patterns.

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4. “I am so sorry that happened. I wonder if they realize how they made you feel?”

In most cases, people who whine and complain have made a lot of negative assumptions. They sometimes struggle to see things from others’ perspective. They are stuck in a victim mode mentality. When this happens, you can ask questions that get them thinking of possibilities they haven’t considered without directly arguing with them.

5. “What has worked for you in the past when these situations have come up?”

Negative people usually feel deeply disrespected and out of control. By putting them in control of the conversation and asking about their past experiences, you are putting them in the drivers seat. They will love this. This gives them the respect and attention they desire.

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6. “Oh no! Is there anything I can do to help you fix this?

With this response, you are showing them that you are on their team. They are likely feeling alone, which is leading to their negative perspective. Most of the time, they will not take you up on this. You will still make them realize you are on their team. That will go a long way with them.

7. “Wow, it sounds like you are having a tough day! What’s one thing going well for you today?”

This is a good response for someone who is complaining about several things at once. Usually they are stuck in a negative mindset and can’t keep themselves from focusing on negative things. This helps them to reflect on what they have to be grateful for today. It’s tough to be bitter and negative when you are in a grateful state.

In the end, it’s tricky to deal with negative people in a way that transforms their mood to a more positive state. You have to think outside of the box. This takes practices and preparation. You can’t simply confront negativity with more negativity because it will add fuel to the fire. On the flip side, you also can’t meet negativity with unfettered positivity because it feels like a slap in the face. The best way to handle a negative attitude is to acknowledge them and then redirect their focus.

This approach works because it isn’t confrontational and it doesn’t kill conversation. You are helping to give them the love and support they need without draining your own positivity. Try this out next time you encounter someone stuck in a mindset some might consider as whining. Turning around someone’s day will give you both a lot of energy and make a positive impact!

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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