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5 Reasons Middle Children Make Great Leaders

5 Reasons Middle Children Make Great Leaders

Are you tired of all the stereotypes about middle children being overlooked, overshadowed, lazy underachievers? This middle child is! I set out to find proof to offer to my older and younger siblings, as well as the world at large, why middle children make great leaders.

They are skilled peacekeepers.

Middle children have a unique position in the family, being closer in age to both older and younger siblings. Often the eldest and youngest are separated by so many years that they have little in common. They may attend different schools and not live in the home together as long as either does with the middle sibling. The middle child often relates well with those both above and below them on the birth order ladder. These relationships make them perfectly poised to keep the peace in the family.

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They are great negotiators.

Catherine Salmon, Ph.D. and co-author of The Secret Power of Middle Children, notes that middle children become good at negotiating due to their place in the family. She says that the firstborn is usually given more authority by the parents and, being older, they are often larger and stronger and use their size to get their way. The youngest often resort to whining as an effective way to get what they want. That leaves the middle child with fewer options, so he learns to figure out what others want and need, then devises a plan to meet those needs as well as their own.

These skills make middle children great leaders at work and serve them well when they have families of their own.

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They are more willing to follow their passion.

Being sandwiched in between the expectations parents attach to a first born and the often coddled youngest children, the middle child is simply, the middle child. There are few preconceived notions about what the middle child should do or be, other than act as placeholder for the older and younger siblings. For that reason, many believe middles have more leeway to follow their passion. Bill Gates, a middle child with both an older and younger sister, definitely fits the bill of following his passion and forging his own way. Football star Peyton Manning, actress and singer Jennifer Lopez, singer Britney Spears are also notable middles following their passion and achieving great success. (Take that stereotype of middle children being lazy underachievers!)

They are willing to step into positions of power in order to create change.

Most people believe that firstborns hold more positions of authority. It makes sense if you think about how they have more power within the family because of their age and one might assume that would continue into adulthood. But did you know that more than half of U.S. Presidents were middle children, including John F. Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson and Teddy Roosevelt? Two notable change agents were also middles: Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King, Jr.

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They are often nicer people.

According to preeminent birth-order researcher Frank Sulloway, author of Born to Rebel, middleborns often rank highest on agreeableness during personality tests. In today’s culture of connection and transparency, that serves a middle child well. Gone are the days where CEOs made the rules and everyone followed. Today’s society wants leaders they can trust and relate to – being agreeable is a great place to start!

If you are a middle child, stand tall! Don’t feel like your parents neglected you if you got a little less attention than your older or younger siblings. They were simply empowering you to forge your own path and become an amazing leader. Sometimes being underestimated and flying under the radar is a wonderful thing.

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Featured photo credit: 11911-21/J.K. Califf via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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