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10 Habits of Likable People That You Can Learn to Make More Friends

10 Habits of Likable People That You Can Learn to Make More Friends

Human beings are social animals. We want to be liked in order to survive in a community. Even the biggest introvert needs to be liked by at least one person, otherwise it’s a really lonely world out there for them.

If you find yourself not being included in work lunches or Friday evening plans, you may want to do something that you probably already do more often and with a conscious thought process to make yourself more likable. There are certain habits that people who are likable often have.

1. They are not a “know-it-all”.

Likable people don’t jump into conversations and act like they know everything. They listen to other people and ask appropriate questions. They tend to make people feel good about themselves. Others find themselves gravitating to them for advice or just small talk.

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2. They mind their own business.

Likable people are not a snob but they generally don’t give their input where it is not needed. It is quite annoying when you have a person in the office who eavesdrop on conversations and provides their opinions when they aren’t invited to do so. Likable people know when you are needed and when it is a good idea to keep a low profile.

3. They don’t hold grudges.

Likable people let things go especially when the argument is inconsequential. They have learned over time to be the bigger person which makes them win people’s admiration. Others like them because they have a clean slate with them.

They are not a pushover because they let others know what they have crossed the line but they also don’t hold it against them in the long run.

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4. They are patient.

Likable people give people opportunities, room to grow, and space to inherently make mistakes. They know that everything in life has a learning curve and they give people around them a chance to grow into themselves. This makes people trust them. They are often the one others come to for help around the office if something isn’t working.

5. They give genuine compliments.

Likable people notice things about others which means they are not self-centered. Often they smile to others genuinely because they are happy to see them.

When people remember these compliments, they remember these likable people.

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6. They notice the good things about people.

Sometimes, it is difficult to work with people who have different personalities especially when they are so different from our own.

Likable people are able to see the good in people and focus more on it than on the bad which has opened many opportunities for them. They are able to capitalize on the good things and people feel appreciated around them.

7. They don’t jump into conclusions.

There is nothing more annoying than someone who doesn’t know all the facts forming an inappropriate or unfair conclusion. Likable people take in the details and weigh all the facts. That way they don’t come off as unfair or biased.

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People respect and like them more because they take time to analyze issues before making premature conclusions.

8. They are genuine.

It is becoming harder to meet genuine people these days which makes a genuine person more likable. These people are not phony and they don’t entertain fake people.

A genuine person gives constructive criticism. Others often come to them when they have an issue to resolve because they know a genuine person truly care about them. Once these people have built a reputation for being genuine, anything they say or do for others comes from a good place. When others need help, they know they can count on the genuine ones to provide adequate support without taking all the credit.

9. They are generous.

A likable person is not stingy with good things. If they find a discount or deal, they share it with the people around. They are the type of person who brings snacks from the places they have been on vacation to the office. If there is something they can do to help someone, they ffind a way to extend themselves which makes people like them more. They help when needed without being overbearing.

10. They are a confidant.

Someone who can keep others’ secrets is very likable. They do not betray confidences and people trust them. They know how sensitive information can be and they don’t let the people who trust them down.

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Last Updated on February 25, 2020

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

“Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world, the disarray. I choose to see the beauty. To believe there is an order to our days. A purpose.” – from the popular show, “Westworld”

It’s different for us all. My personal quest for purpose began with five stages of grief and one startling realization that everything’s endlessly fragile. Adversity, as it happens by rule, found me terribly unprepared, so I decided to take my time. Today, I can honestly say that I’ve grown.

Ugliness and beauty, good and evil, pain and laughter – everything in the universe consists of two forces that are opposing but complementary. In the face of difficulty, that is the only mantra you need.

Here’s how I learned it and why you should too, with five simple rules.

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1. Embrace the Complexity

Quite insidiously, adversities come in all shapes and sizes. Paralyzing physical disabilities, mind-wracking mental problems, ruthless emotional havocs, all leading to the same painful acknowledgement: all the beauty in the world cannot possibly make up for the ugliness that surrounds us. Shattered to pieces, helpless and bare naked, we sit in our therapy chairs, apologizing for being so negative.

Eventually, what it all comes down to is the nature of negative emotion. Our positives overshadow our negatives, thus wrongly teaching us that the road to well-being is paved with nothing but positive feelings and thoughts. How utterly wrong!

“If you’re not failing every now and then, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything innovative”, Woody Allen said.

It’s a classic “learn from your mistakes” rule, but in this case, it implies growing from negative experiences. Make peace with your negativities and embrace beauty and ugliness alike! Accepting this marvellously complex world just as it is will allow you to find purpose in adversity and meaning in misery.

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2. Find Balance, Regain Control

Still, accepting adversity is only the first step toward eventual victory. One can endure only so much trauma in life; if we’re not prepared to deal with difficulties in a productive way, even the minor setbacks can get us off track. Our strengths come from learning, and the best way to learn is through a series of trials and errors. Just like phases of grief or stages of drug addiction, adversities suggest a disabling loss of control, so find your way to regain it.

Some call it the coping mechanism; for others, it’s a spiritual will. However you choose to name yours, know that not all supporting systems are equally beneficial, though each is effective in its own way. Escapism was mine, but it only helped me retain the illusion of beauty. It wasn’t until I opened up toward the ugliness and accepted the naked truth that I was finally free. Whether you choose to dwell in art, religion and spiritualism, thus feeding your resilience from within or to reach out to others for help, choose wisely.

Whatever the means, the second rule is a golden one: find your inner balance and stick to it. Eventually, it will lead you out of the vicious circle.

3. Fight with Patience

My bargaining turned in depression with a single touch. Fearless and free, my dance instructor timidly put her hands on my shoulders and I realized, for the first time, just how tense, stiff and cloistered I was. And just like that, I started letting go. Adversities have their sneaky ways, but in my experience, becoming aware is what hurts the worst. It took me a year to recover from this little moment of self-discovery, and I know remember it as the edge of the rabbit hole.

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Some sufferings are impossible to console; I know that now. The only way to get through is to, well, get through. Depression and despair are only the beginning of the excruciatingly unnerving process that ravages the mind and shrivels the soul, and once they strike, there is no easy way back. So, fight them with patience. When your head starts spinning and your feet lose ground, go to your happy place. Over there, you’ll be reminded that nothing is forever, not even our little existential psychosis.

Take a deep breath and say “om”. When things cannot be combated, they have to be endured, so practice patience and learn to let go. Finally, keep repeating to yourself that this too shall pass.

4. Keep Swimming

Nothing is impossible, in the end. Your negative thoughts will gently pour into your positive ones, just as two streams come together to become a river. In the event of the inevitable disaster, one can only be as calm as still water. Suffering teaches patience, and the latter gives rise to flexibility. Ultimately, what is life than a series of unfortunate events and a handful of bright moments in between? If adversities are impossible to avoid, than learn to glide through as smoothly and patiently as water does with rocks.

Even if spirituality isn’t exactly your cup of tea, you have to admit that this is one solid metaphor. Staying adaptable in the face of change will soothe your panic attacks and keep you sane and sober-blooded. Even if you fail, you’ll know exactly how to breathe and face what’s in front of you once it eventually strikes again. Stay calm and visualize a better tomorrow; if anything else, it will give you strength to dive deep and weather the storm. And, in case there’s somebody’s hand to reach out to, grab it firmly and don’t let go.

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Being flexible against adversities takes a lot of learning, just as staying brave demands a lot of courage. It’s a long, arduous step-by-step routine, and you can reach the end only by swimming on. Persist, even when you fall.

5. Never Stop Searching for Inspiration

And, if it’s a guidance you need, where else to seek it than in experiences of others? Find it in art, in people around you, in chance encounters. The pure beauty of perseverance can be discovered where you expect it the least, so never stop searching for inspiration. If self-help literature soothes your pains and clears your mind, don’t let cynics discourage you. Your path toward reconciliation is nobody’s but yours to choose.

Ever heard of Nick Vujicic? Or Nando Parado? Inspiring people sound their yawps over the roofs of the world, sometimes voiceless, sometimes limbless, sometimes both. Born without arms, Jessica Cox became the most unusual certified pilot in the world, and you can rarely see her without a smile on her face. If you’ve already ripped all of your bucket lists and said goodbye to your dreams and plans, meet Sean Swarner, who’s officially became the first cancer survivor to climb Mount Everest. The stories just go on.

Make your own guidebook! Pen down your positive thoughts, cover your walls with quotes and devise your personal mantras. Whenever things get hard, they’ll be there to remind you of what you need to do. It’s the simplest of all life hacks, and one of the most effective ones.

Find beauty in the world, but never stay blind for its ugliness. However daunting, adversities and emotional pain challenge our inner strength, thus making us resilient and allowing us to grow. As soon as you recognize them as the wind in your sails instead of the devastating storm, the purpose will become simple and clear.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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