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10 Habits of Likable People That You Can Learn to Make More Friends

10 Habits of Likable People That You Can Learn to Make More Friends

Human beings are social animals. We want to be liked in order to survive in a community. Even the biggest introvert needs to be liked by at least one person, otherwise it’s a really lonely world out there for them.

If you find yourself not being included in work lunches or Friday evening plans, you may want to do something that you probably already do more often and with a conscious thought process to make yourself more likable. There are certain habits that people who are likable often have.

1. They are not a “know-it-all”.

Likable people don’t jump into conversations and act like they know everything. They listen to other people and ask appropriate questions. They tend to make people feel good about themselves. Others find themselves gravitating to them for advice or just small talk.

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2. They mind their own business.

Likable people are not a snob but they generally don’t give their input where it is not needed. It is quite annoying when you have a person in the office who eavesdrop on conversations and provides their opinions when they aren’t invited to do so. Likable people know when you are needed and when it is a good idea to keep a low profile.

3. They don’t hold grudges.

Likable people let things go especially when the argument is inconsequential. They have learned over time to be the bigger person which makes them win people’s admiration. Others like them because they have a clean slate with them.

They are not a pushover because they let others know what they have crossed the line but they also don’t hold it against them in the long run.

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4. They are patient.

Likable people give people opportunities, room to grow, and space to inherently make mistakes. They know that everything in life has a learning curve and they give people around them a chance to grow into themselves. This makes people trust them. They are often the one others come to for help around the office if something isn’t working.

5. They give genuine compliments.

Likable people notice things about others which means they are not self-centered. Often they smile to others genuinely because they are happy to see them.

When people remember these compliments, they remember these likable people.

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6. They notice the good things about people.

Sometimes, it is difficult to work with people who have different personalities especially when they are so different from our own.

Likable people are able to see the good in people and focus more on it than on the bad which has opened many opportunities for them. They are able to capitalize on the good things and people feel appreciated around them.

7. They don’t jump into conclusions.

There is nothing more annoying than someone who doesn’t know all the facts forming an inappropriate or unfair conclusion. Likable people take in the details and weigh all the facts. That way they don’t come off as unfair or biased.

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People respect and like them more because they take time to analyze issues before making premature conclusions.

8. They are genuine.

It is becoming harder to meet genuine people these days which makes a genuine person more likable. These people are not phony and they don’t entertain fake people.

A genuine person gives constructive criticism. Others often come to them when they have an issue to resolve because they know a genuine person truly care about them. Once these people have built a reputation for being genuine, anything they say or do for others comes from a good place. When others need help, they know they can count on the genuine ones to provide adequate support without taking all the credit.

9. They are generous.

A likable person is not stingy with good things. If they find a discount or deal, they share it with the people around. They are the type of person who brings snacks from the places they have been on vacation to the office. If there is something they can do to help someone, they ffind a way to extend themselves which makes people like them more. They help when needed without being overbearing.

10. They are a confidant.

Someone who can keep others’ secrets is very likable. They do not betray confidences and people trust them. They know how sensitive information can be and they don’t let the people who trust them down.

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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