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How To Unlock “Her” Confidence: 7 Secrets That All Successful Women Leaders Know

How To Unlock “Her” Confidence: 7 Secrets That All Successful Women Leaders Know

Do you focus on improvement and growth or not making a mistake? This could be the key difference in boldly stating “ I woke up like this!” or “I just rolled out of bed.”

Confidence is the best accessory to put on before stepping out into the world and even the highest, most powerful women struggle with not feeling good enough.

In society, we’re taught men are the leaders and rarely do we see women in powerful positions running corporations and changing the world.

These 7 secrets from successful women leaders throughout history will reveal, why that is a lie and how to create your own mindset of excellence. Even if you choose to maneuver through life with lipstick and high heels on.

1. Self-Care is Top Priority

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successful women

    “I’m getting better, each day, at doing something good for my body, mind and spirit.” – Oprah Winfrey

    One of the most powerful names in television history puts herself as top her priority. Oprah understands that in order to pour into others, her needs will have to be taken care of first. If you are depleted, there is nothing left for you to give to those you care about and sharing your gifts becomes a burden. It is a disservice to the world not to put your best foot forward in life for yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s smart business.

    2. Know What You Want

    successful women

      “Don’t be intimidated by what you don’t know. That can be your greatest strength and ensure that you do things differently from everyone else.” – Sara Blakely (Founder of Spanx – World’s Youngest Female Billionaire)

      Sarah was far from intimidated when she roped in one of the biggest billionaires, Richard Branson to believe in her vision and financially back her foundation. She had a clear vision of her future self. Knowing what you want keeps you from being taken advantage of and turning up empty handed. Even when Sarah didn’t know how to get where she wanted to go, knowing what she wanted to accomplish was enough to form a path and attract the people who could help get her there.

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      3. Pay No Attention to the Critics

      successful women

        “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Eleanor Roosevelt (Longest-serving First Lady of the United States)

        Noted as the controversial First Lady of her time, mainly for her outspokenness on racial issues, Mrs. Roosevelt was a force to be reckoned with because she did what she knew in her heart was right. Having a strong belief in something allows you to take on the world, regardless of any naysayers. Critics are there for one purpose — to remind you where you don’t want to end up, on the sidelines. Keep your head forward and your faith activated.

        4. Be Yourself

        successful women

          “In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” — Coco Chanel

          Raised in an orphanage, she grew up to revolutionize the fashion industry. Chanel undoubtedly challenged the status quo and imprinted her unique mark on the world. The secret sauce to her success was simply, doing things her way, not what she constantly saw in the media and not because so and so did it this way for years, but by solidifying her place in the world as an original. It’s very easy these days to be one of a kind if you stop following trends and do what works best for you.

          5. Invest in Yourself

          successful women

            “I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow. When there’s that moment of ‘Wow, I’m not really sure I can do this,’ and you push through those moments, that’s when you have a breakthrough.” – Marissa Mayer (CEO of Yahoo)

            At age 20, Marissa was heading a Fortune 500 company. Maybe your goal isn’t to head a large corporation or be the next leader of the free world, but to acknowledge your inner leadership qualities. That begins with taking a leap of faith in yourself and applying the knowledge you already possess. Begin to chart a course of action to recognize the gifts you are innately great at and use them! Over time your confidence grows and true leadership is knowing how much more valuable you become when you continuously grow your knowledge base.

            6. Embrace Your Rhythm

            successful women

              “Don’t get seduced by the “overnight” success stories. Most of them are total B.S. My financial and business success has grown slowly, steadily and organically over time. I’m not willing to sacrifice my quality of life to impress people I’ll never meet with “how fast” I can go. Discover your own rhythm.” – Marie Forelo (Coach, Motivational speaker & Author)

              This is most definitely a true hustler spirit story. Marie grew her business from nothing but her YouTube channel. She found out what she was killer at and killed it! This is where paying attention to how you best operate and communicate come into play. Figuring out your natural rhythm of accomplishing goals will create a system to crush them every time.

              7. Determine What’s Important

              successful women

                “I had to grow to love my body. I did not have a good self-image at first. Finally it occurred to me, I’m either going to love me or hate me. And I chose to love myself. Then everything kind of sprung from there. Things that I thought weren’t attractive became sexy. Confidence makes you sexy.” Queen Latifah

                She was able to turn her rapper moniker into a brand while giving women a voice and crossing over to film and television. Queen Latifah had finally realized what was truly important for her continued growth and success. Many times we hold ourselves back from what we want out of life because we haven’t determined what is truly important. Is it how you are viewed by others? Or should you focus on becoming the woman who is confident in her skin?

                Once you’ve decided which one is most important, your confidence will start to peek and life will become one big playing field of possibilities.

                Now that you’ve unlocked “her” confidence, you know how attainable your success really is. Carve your path.

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                Last Updated on July 17, 2019

                The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

                The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

                What happens in our heads when we set goals?

                Apparently a lot more than you’d think.

                Goal setting isn’t quite so simple as deciding on the things you’d like to accomplish and working towards them.

                According to the research of psychologists, neurologists, and other scientists, setting a goal invests ourselves into the target as if we’d already accomplished it. That is, by setting something as a goal, however small or large, however near or far in the future, a part of our brain believes that desired outcome is an essential part of who we are – setting up the conditions that drive us to work towards the goals to fulfill the brain’s self-image.

                Apparently, the brain cannot distinguish between things we want and things we have. Neurologically, then, our brains treat the failure to achieve our goal the same way as it treats the loss of a valued possession. And up until the moment, the goal is achieved, we have failed to achieve it, setting up a constant tension that the brain seeks to resolve.

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                Ideally, this tension is resolved by driving us towards accomplishment. In many cases, though, the brain simply responds to the loss, causing us to feel fear, anxiety, even anguish, depending on the value of the as-yet-unattained goal.

                Love, Loss, Dopamine, and Our Dreams

                The brains functions are carried out by a stew of chemicals called neurotransmitters. You’ve probably heard of serotonin, which plays a key role in our emotional life – most of the effective anti-depressant medications on the market are serotonin reuptake inhibitors, meaning they regulate serotonin levels in the brain leading to more stable moods.

                Somewhat less well-known is another neurotransmitter, dopamine. Among other things, dopamine acts as a motivator, creating a sensation of pleasure when the brain is stimulated by achievement. Dopamine is also involved in maintaining attention – some forms of ADHD are linked to irregular responses to dopamine.[1]

                So dopamine plays a key role in keeping us focused on our goals and motivating us to attain them, rewarding our attention and achievement by elevating our mood. That is, we feel good when we work towards our goals.

                Dopamine is related to wanting – to desire. The attainment of the object of our desire releases dopamine into our brains and we feel good. Conversely, the frustration of our desires starves us of dopamine, causing anxiety and fear.

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                One of the greatest desires is romantic love – the long-lasting, “till death do us part” kind. It’s no surprise, then, that romantic love is sustained, at least in part, through the constant flow of dopamine released in the presence – real or imagined – of our true love. Loss of romantic love cuts off that supply of dopamine, which is why it feels like you’re dying – your brain responds by triggering all sorts of anxiety-related responses.

                Herein lies obsession, as we go to ever-increasing lengths in search of that dopamine reward. Stalking specialists warn against any kind of contact with a stalker, positive or negative, because any response at all triggers that reward mechanism. If you let the phone ring 50 times and finally pick up on the 51st ring to tell your stalker off, your stalker gets his or her reward, and learns that all s/he has to do is wait for the phone to ring 51 times.

                Romantic love isn’t the only kind of desire that can create this kind of dopamine addiction, though – as Captain Ahab (from Moby Dick) knew well, any suitably important goal can become an obsession once the mind has established ownership.

                The Neurology of Ownership

                Ownership turns out to be about a lot more than just legal rights. When we own something, we invest a part of ourselves into it – it becomes an extension of ourselves.

                In a famous experiment at Cornell University, researchers gave students school logo coffee mugs, and then offered to trade them chocolate bars for the mugs. Very few were willing to make the trade, no matter how much they professed to like chocolate. Big deal, right? Maybe they just really liked those mugs![2]

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                But when they reversed the experiment, handing out chocolate and then offering to trade mugs for the candy, they found that now, few students were all that interested in the mugs. Apparently the key thing about the mugs or the chocolate wasn’t whether students valued whatever they had in their possession, but simply that they had it in their possession.

                This phenomenon is called the “endowment effect”. In a nutshell, the endowment effect occurs when we take ownership of an object (or idea, or person); in becoming “ours” it becomes integrated with our sense of identity, making us reluctant to part with it (losing it is seen as a loss, which triggers that dopamine shut-off I discussed above).

                Interestingly, researchers have found that the endowment effect doesn’t require actual ownership or even possession to come into play. In fact, it’s enough to have a reasonable expectation of future possession for us to start thinking of something as a part of us – as jilted lovers, gambling losers, and 7-year olds denied a toy at the store have all experienced.

                The Upshot for Goal-Setters

                So what does all this mean for would-be achievers?

                On one hand, it’s a warning against setting unreasonable goals. The bigger the potential for positive growth a goal has, the more anxiety and stress your brain is going to create around it’s non-achievement.

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                It also suggests that the common wisdom to limit your goals to a small number of reasonable, attainable objectives is good advice. The more goals you have, the more ends your brain thinks it “owns” and therefore the more grief and fear the absence of those ends is going to cause you.

                On a more positive note, the fact that the brain rewards our attentiveness by releasing dopamine means that our brain is working with us to direct us to achievement. Paying attention to your goals feels good, encouraging us to spend more time doing it. This may be why outcome visualization — a favorite technique of self-help gurus involving imagining yourself having completed your objectives — has such a poor track record in clinical studies. It effectively tricks our brain into rewarding us for achieving our goals even though we haven’t done it yet!

                But ultimately, our brain wants us to achieve our goals, so that it’s a sense of who we are that can be fulfilled. And that’s pretty good news!

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                Featured photo credit: Alexa Williams via unsplash.com

                Reference

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