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7 Beautiful Lies I Wish I Had Never Told My Children

7 Beautiful Lies I Wish I Had Never Told My Children

Telling our kids lies sometimes just pops in spontaneously. We just want to make them feel soothed and calm or special and optimistic. The truth is that doing this may not work in their interest all the time.

Let us focus on making the best out of our children by letting them focus on possibilities rather than the mirage. All those misleading statements we may have made to make things better for them may not be painting an accurate picture of reality.

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1. “When I was your age, I never would have done that.”

It is abominable to make my child think that I was the perfect kid. I may just have been as lousy, frustrating and difficult when I was his age, or even worse. Reality demands that we tell our children the truth of who we were, rather than making them feel that we lived superhuman lives when we were kids.

2. “It won’t hurt. I promise.”

We do tell our kids this type of lie when we take them to the hospital and the doctor is going to give them a shot. This becomes an obvious lie in no time. When the needle is pierced into their skin, it hurts. It hurts a lot. And they don’t simply become distrustful of us; they also become distrustful of the doctors.

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3. “We will come back later.”

We are never coming back. This lie only gives them false hope. Yes, the kid wants to stay and he/she is grumbling about how it is so unfair to be taken away that we feel that the only way out is to throw in this type of lie to calm their nerves.

4. “I don’t know.”

Yes, our kids ask us a lot of dumb and challenging questions. Sometimes it is so frustrating trying to answer every question that they have and providing them knowledge they so desperately seek.

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When I tell my kids this lie, it is just because I really want to get them off my back. Perhaps I should encourage their inquisitiveness and tell them the things I really know and the things I don’t know, instead of shooting them down because I we really do not want to deal with the question.

5. “Looks don’t matter, it is what is on the inside that counts.”

This doesn’t apply in many cases. If you are dealing with humans, most times they will judge you by what they see. There are several studies to prove that what is on the outside conquers what is on the inside. This is why attractive people are perceived as more confident, competent and sociable.

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6. “You are special.”

We make our kids think they have some superhuman attributes that make them special or better than the other person’s child. The truth is that our children are no better than the other person’s child. They are unique but they are not special, because every child could be better or worse than your child at something.

It is better for us to make them focus on their gifts and strengths and fostering those to make the world a better place rather arrogantly telling them that they are special.

7. “It is not whether you win or lose, just work hard and play the game of life.”

I don’t suggest you tell your kids this. The truth is that life is not fair, and the person who plays the game of life hardest may eventually not get rewarded. What is on the scoreboard could portray a different reality than what is being played on the court. Let your children focus on improving their skills rather than merely working hard. Yet, let us not forget to tell them that hard work provides a better result than not working at all.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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