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7 Beautiful Lies I Wish I Had Never Told My Children

7 Beautiful Lies I Wish I Had Never Told My Children

Telling our kids lies sometimes just pops in spontaneously. We just want to make them feel soothed and calm or special and optimistic. The truth is that doing this may not work in their interest all the time.

Let us focus on making the best out of our children by letting them focus on possibilities rather than the mirage. All those misleading statements we may have made to make things better for them may not be painting an accurate picture of reality.

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1. “When I was your age, I never would have done that.”

It is abominable to make my child think that I was the perfect kid. I may just have been as lousy, frustrating and difficult when I was his age, or even worse. Reality demands that we tell our children the truth of who we were, rather than making them feel that we lived superhuman lives when we were kids.

2. “It won’t hurt. I promise.”

We do tell our kids this type of lie when we take them to the hospital and the doctor is going to give them a shot. This becomes an obvious lie in no time. When the needle is pierced into their skin, it hurts. It hurts a lot. And they don’t simply become distrustful of us; they also become distrustful of the doctors.

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3. “We will come back later.”

We are never coming back. This lie only gives them false hope. Yes, the kid wants to stay and he/she is grumbling about how it is so unfair to be taken away that we feel that the only way out is to throw in this type of lie to calm their nerves.

4. “I don’t know.”

Yes, our kids ask us a lot of dumb and challenging questions. Sometimes it is so frustrating trying to answer every question that they have and providing them knowledge they so desperately seek.

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When I tell my kids this lie, it is just because I really want to get them off my back. Perhaps I should encourage their inquisitiveness and tell them the things I really know and the things I don’t know, instead of shooting them down because I we really do not want to deal with the question.

5. “Looks don’t matter, it is what is on the inside that counts.”

This doesn’t apply in many cases. If you are dealing with humans, most times they will judge you by what they see. There are several studies to prove that what is on the outside conquers what is on the inside. This is why attractive people are perceived as more confident, competent and sociable.

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6. “You are special.”

We make our kids think they have some superhuman attributes that make them special or better than the other person’s child. The truth is that our children are no better than the other person’s child. They are unique but they are not special, because every child could be better or worse than your child at something.

It is better for us to make them focus on their gifts and strengths and fostering those to make the world a better place rather arrogantly telling them that they are special.

7. “It is not whether you win or lose, just work hard and play the game of life.”

I don’t suggest you tell your kids this. The truth is that life is not fair, and the person who plays the game of life hardest may eventually not get rewarded. What is on the scoreboard could portray a different reality than what is being played on the court. Let your children focus on improving their skills rather than merely working hard. Yet, let us not forget to tell them that hard work provides a better result than not working at all.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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