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7 Beautiful Lies I Wish I Had Never Told My Children

7 Beautiful Lies I Wish I Had Never Told My Children

Telling our kids lies sometimes just pops in spontaneously. We just want to make them feel soothed and calm or special and optimistic. The truth is that doing this may not work in their interest all the time.

Let us focus on making the best out of our children by letting them focus on possibilities rather than the mirage. All those misleading statements we may have made to make things better for them may not be painting an accurate picture of reality.

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1. “When I was your age, I never would have done that.”

It is abominable to make my child think that I was the perfect kid. I may just have been as lousy, frustrating and difficult when I was his age, or even worse. Reality demands that we tell our children the truth of who we were, rather than making them feel that we lived superhuman lives when we were kids.

2. “It won’t hurt. I promise.”

We do tell our kids this type of lie when we take them to the hospital and the doctor is going to give them a shot. This becomes an obvious lie in no time. When the needle is pierced into their skin, it hurts. It hurts a lot. And they don’t simply become distrustful of us; they also become distrustful of the doctors.

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3. “We will come back later.”

We are never coming back. This lie only gives them false hope. Yes, the kid wants to stay and he/she is grumbling about how it is so unfair to be taken away that we feel that the only way out is to throw in this type of lie to calm their nerves.

4. “I don’t know.”

Yes, our kids ask us a lot of dumb and challenging questions. Sometimes it is so frustrating trying to answer every question that they have and providing them knowledge they so desperately seek.

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When I tell my kids this lie, it is just because I really want to get them off my back. Perhaps I should encourage their inquisitiveness and tell them the things I really know and the things I don’t know, instead of shooting them down because I we really do not want to deal with the question.

5. “Looks don’t matter, it is what is on the inside that counts.”

This doesn’t apply in many cases. If you are dealing with humans, most times they will judge you by what they see. There are several studies to prove that what is on the outside conquers what is on the inside. This is why attractive people are perceived as more confident, competent and sociable.

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6. “You are special.”

We make our kids think they have some superhuman attributes that make them special or better than the other person’s child. The truth is that our children are no better than the other person’s child. They are unique but they are not special, because every child could be better or worse than your child at something.

It is better for us to make them focus on their gifts and strengths and fostering those to make the world a better place rather arrogantly telling them that they are special.

7. “It is not whether you win or lose, just work hard and play the game of life.”

I don’t suggest you tell your kids this. The truth is that life is not fair, and the person who plays the game of life hardest may eventually not get rewarded. What is on the scoreboard could portray a different reality than what is being played on the court. Let your children focus on improving their skills rather than merely working hard. Yet, let us not forget to tell them that hard work provides a better result than not working at all.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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