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15 Ways a Feminist Dad Makes You Stronger

15 Ways a Feminist Dad Makes You Stronger

Even the most stoic, manly man will wilt at the first sight of his newborn daughter. From that moment on, a certain softness will slowly overcome his hardened exterior little by little as his baby girl grows into an independent woman. He’ll immediately want the world for his child, and want her to be able to accomplish everything she sets her mind to. Fathering a daughter makes men realize just how important females our to our families, and to our world in general. Feminist fathers:

1. Split up all the chores.

There is no such thing as “men’s work” or “women’s work” to a feminist father. He has no qualms doing the dishes or cooking dinner, and would never want your mother to think it’s “her job” to do anything around the house. He takes responsibility around the house, regardless of the task.

2. Teach you about sports.

Just because your a girl doesn’t mean your father won’t teach you how to throw a football, or kick a soccer ball. He knows how important it is for boys and girls to get exercise, and he doesn’t think women should just be relegated to the sideline as cheerleaders.

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3. Go to your “girly” events.

But he doesn’t fault you for being into ballet, either. If dance or art is more your speed, he’s more than happy to support you there, too. He’ll be the one pointing up at the stage when you come out, with a big smile on his face as he proudly watches you do your thing.

4. Teach you “guy” things.

Why wouldn’t he teach you how to change your oil just because you’re a girl? Surely you’re not afraid to get your hands a little dirty, and you’ll need to know how to do it at some point. Feminist fathers don’t see tasks as masculine or feminine; they see them as human tasks that we all must learn in our lifetime.

5. Teach the importance of math and science.

It’s pretty sad how many people think of math and science as “male” subjects. Feminist fathers see the potential for both his sons and daughters to be the next Einstein who ends up changing the world through their complex reasoning and critical thinking skills.

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6. Care about all of your accomplishments.

He doesn’t emphasize certain subjects and events while minimizing others. Everything you accomplish, in his eyes, is incredibly important, and is one step closer to you being an independent woman who can fend for herself in life.

7. Foster your independence.

Along with the previous point, feminist fathers push their daughters to try their best without help from anyone else. They know society will anticipate weakness from young women, so he’ll push you to buck the system and show them you can make it on your own.

8. Support you every step of the way.

That doesn’t mean he pushes you too far, especially if you’re not ready to take the step. Your feminist father always takes care of you; in small ways, you’ll always be his little girl.

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9. Push your comfort zones.

Feminist fathers teach you to never be comfortable with what you have, and always strive for more. Just because society thinks you should stay in a bubble doesn’t mean you have to, and fathers should push their daughters to expand their comfort zones as much as possible in order to succeed.

10. Know how to be silly.

No father can truly say they were a good dad unless, at one point in their lives, they dropped what they were doing, put on a tiara, and had a tea party with fifteen stuffed animals. Feminist fathers aren’t afraid to break gender roles and be silly with their kids, even if they risk their wives posting pictures on Facebook.

11. Show their emotions.

Good fathers aren’t afraid to let their children see them laugh, cry, or get upset. They control their temper and anger, but they also show their daughters how to deal with uncomfortable emotions. By not hiding behind a veil of stoicism, they show their kids it’s okay to feel blue sometimes, and they shouldn’t need to run away from their feelings.

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12. Listen to you.

The best fathers take the time to listen to what you have to say. They take a genuine interest in your life, and offer good advice based on the situation. They will never let you feel as if they have bigger problems to worry about, because you are the most important thing in their life.

13. Stand up for what’s right.

Feminist fathers live by their word. They never play the “do as I say, not as I do” card. When they see something they know is wrong, they speak up about it. By doing so, they teach their children the importance of being the change they wish to see in the world, and that anyone can make a difference.

14. Teach you to go out and grab life.

Great fathers teach their daughters not to wait for someone to come sweep them off their feet so they can finally have the life they want. They teach their kids to work hard for what they deserve, and know that being passive will get them nowhere.

15. Treat their wives as their equal.

As I said before, feminist fathers live as they say to live. By treating their wives as their equals, they set the example for their sons and daughters that everyone should be treated with the same amount of respect, regardless of their differences. When sons and daughters grow up having two integrious role models to follow on a daily basis, they’ll surely grow up to find success.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm8.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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