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8 Similes Summing Up What Marriage Is Actually Like

8 Similes Summing Up What Marriage Is Actually Like

At one point in our lives, we thought marriage was the happy ending. We all watched the movies, read the books and believed that once we found out one true love, that was it. Eventually we realized that we are living real life and there isn’t a storybook ending that solves all your problems. Marriage is just the beginning of two people’s lives together.

1. “Marriage is like fine wine, if tended to properly, it gets better with age.”

Plain and simple, you can have a good marriage but it will take time and effort to make it better with age. Either the two of you can grow together and stronger as a couple or further apart. Just look at the process of how wine is made. It is quite a bit of effort to even get it to the form that flows freely from the bottle into your cup of happiness, and a little more patience and time to get fine wine.

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2. “A marriage is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you don’t just go and buy another house. You change the light bulb”

You all know someone like this, don’t lie. They have had twenty seven marriages and sign prenups like they sign a receipt for a purchase over twenty five dollars. Some people really don’t understand the sanctity of marriage. It is something that you two are promising to each other for an eternity. Sure, not everyone is good for each other but that doesn’t mean you have to just leave the first sign of trouble. Figure out which type of light bulb needs to be replaced (or which problem needs to be fixed) and take time to search for the solution to make that part of the house light up again.

3. “Marriage is like music. Both are playing different instruments and different parts, but as long as you’re playing from the same sheet music, you can create something beautiful.”

Everyone is different and unique in their own way. That is what is so beautiful about marriage, you both can bring so much to the table and use it. As a couple, you learn each other’s hobby (and if you’re competitive, you get good at it), see solutions to problems from a different view, and learn that though you two are individuals, your hearts and minds are in sync… most of the time.

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4. “Marriage without friendship is like a bird without wings.”

When you are married, your spouse is your best friend. It may sound cliche to say, and I know it’s very cheesy, but it is completely true. In order to have a marriage work, you need to trust them with your life. That means your secrets, your heartaches, your anxiety and your joy. Your spouse is the first person you call when you need to share some good news, when you need a shoulder to cry on, and a person that will make food runs with you at three in the morning just for fun (although that last option may change with age).

5. “Being married is like having a best friend that doesn’t remember anything you say.”

In addition to the friendship thing, you will have someone that you can tell your stories to over and over again because most likely, they forget some details, or are pretending to. You have done it before, be honest. You have all have responded, “Oh no, you didn’t tell me that story,” because you know your spouse loves telling it.

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6. “Marriage is like a garden, it takes time to grow but the harvest is rich unto those who patiently and tenderly care for the ground.”

This plays again into putting work into it. You need to have adventures together and put effort into creating the story of your lives together. What else are you going to be talking about on your front porch drinking iced tea when you’re old? As a married couple, vacations, last minute weekend trips, or simply getting lost is what builds your vault of stories and lessons for you to pass down.

7. “Marriage without struggle is like an unfired clay pot. It is easily made, but it will not stand the test of time.”

Every marriage is going to have their bumps and dead ends. You both need to find out how to turn yourselves back around and keep going. The problems that come with marriage are there to make sure you two are able to work together as a couple through it so when you eventually do decide to create little minions, you have something to let them know you have been through it. Don’t think they won’t be calling you either. Everyone calls their parents for help, no matter what age.

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8. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.”

With all that being said, no matter how many tips and tricks you are given to make your marriage work, it really is different for every couple. There is not a set of rules or a right way of creating the perfect marriage because it doesn’t exist. Tips for you may not work like they did for your mom. The best you can do is just take in the knowledge and keep it in your vault. Live your lives together, take the punches as they come, and stop to enjoy the sunshine.

Featured photo credit: Bride and Groom with pink pastel bouquet/ Faith via flickr.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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