At one point in our lives, we thought marriage was the happy ending. We all watched the movies, read the books and believed that once we found out one true love, that was it. Eventually we realized that we are living real life and there isn’t a storybook ending that solves all your problems. Marriage is just the beginning of two people’s lives together.
1. “Marriage is like fine wine, if tended to properly, it gets better with age.”
Plain and simple, you can have a good marriage but it will take time and effort to make it better with age. Either the two of you can grow together and stronger as a couple or further apart. Just look at the process of how wine is made. It is quite a bit of effort to even get it to the form that flows freely from the bottle into your cup of happiness, and a little more patience and time to get fine wine.
2. “A marriage is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you don’t just go and buy another house. You change the light bulb”
You all know someone like this, don’t lie. They have had twenty seven marriages and sign prenups like they sign a receipt for a purchase over twenty five dollars. Some people really don’t understand the sanctity of marriage. It is something that you two are promising to each other for an eternity. Sure, not everyone is good for each other but that doesn’t mean you have to just leave the first sign of trouble. Figure out which type of light bulb needs to be replaced (or which problem needs to be fixed) and take time to search for the solution to make that part of the house light up again.
3. “Marriage is like music. Both are playing different instruments and different parts, but as long as you’re playing from the same sheet music, you can create something beautiful.”
Everyone is different and unique in their own way. That is what is so beautiful about marriage, you both can bring so much to the table and use it. As a couple, you learn each other’s hobby (and if you’re competitive, you get good at it), see solutions to problems from a different view, and learn that though you two are individuals, your hearts and minds are in sync… most of the time.
4. “Marriage without friendship is like a bird without wings.”
When you are married, your spouse is your best friend. It may sound cliche to say, and I know it’s very cheesy, but it is completely true. In order to have a marriage work, you need to trust them with your life. That means your secrets, your heartaches, your anxiety and your joy. Your spouse is the first person you call when you need to share some good news, when you need a shoulder to cry on, and a person that will make food runs with you at three in the morning just for fun (although that last option may change with age).
5. “Being married is like having a best friend that doesn’t remember anything you say.”
In addition to the friendship thing, you will have someone that you can tell your stories to over and over again because most likely, they forget some details, or are pretending to. You have done it before, be honest. You have all have responded, “Oh no, you didn’t tell me that story,” because you know your spouse loves telling it.
6. “Marriage is like a garden, it takes time to grow but the harvest is rich unto those who patiently and tenderly care for the ground.”
This plays again into putting work into it. You need to have adventures together and put effort into creating the story of your lives together. What else are you going to be talking about on your front porch drinking iced tea when you’re old? As a married couple, vacations, last minute weekend trips, or simply getting lost is what builds your vault of stories and lessons for you to pass down.
7. “Marriage without struggle is like an unfired clay pot. It is easily made, but it will not stand the test of time.”
Every marriage is going to have their bumps and dead ends. You both need to find out how to turn yourselves back around and keep going. The problems that come with marriage are there to make sure you two are able to work together as a couple through it so when you eventually do decide to create little minions, you have something to let them know you have been through it. Don’t think they won’t be calling you either. Everyone calls their parents for help, no matter what age.
8. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.”
With all that being said, no matter how many tips and tricks you are given to make your marriage work, it really is different for every couple. There is not a set of rules or a right way of creating the perfect marriage because it doesn’t exist. Tips for you may not work like they did for your mom. The best you can do is just take in the knowledge and keep it in your vault. Live your lives together, take the punches as they come, and stop to enjoy the sunshine.
Featured photo credit: Bride and Groom with pink pastel bouquet/ Faith via flickr.com