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9 Things You Do Better Than Anyone Else If You Are Highly Emotional

9 Things You Do Better Than Anyone Else If You Are Highly Emotional

Emotion is a personality strength, touted as the “go to” soft skill and is professionally and socially desired. It is not a weakness. Are you emotional? If so, stand tall, thrust your shoulders back, and be proud because your emotional predisposition gives you an advantage at important life skills. You’ll easily relate to these facets of highly emotional people as they describe nine things that you do better than anyone else.

1. You Empathize

Emotion allows us to navigate the unpredictable and often hostile social environment. It facilitates the rational judgement of a certain situation by causing a physical reaction and creating lasting memories. Empathy is at the core of interpreting social encounters. An emotional person finds it easier to place themselves in the shoes of others, to empathize with that person. Truly understanding an opposing point of view requires empathy and conflict resolution is lost without it.

2. You Teach

Effective teachers are emotional. Teaching can be viewed in the traditional classroom sense, or in the informal situational sense. Regardless, communicating concepts effectively are easier done with emotion. Research shows that even mild emotional arousal facilitates learning. An individual who is naturally emotional injects that feeling into their conversation and effortlessly distributes their point of view.

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3. You Connect And Develop Deep Relationships

Emotional people are passionate and understand that a life laced with significance requires deep, healthy relationships. Emotional people prioritize relationships because not only do they give meaning to their own life, but also the lives of others. Shared emotion provides strong roots for a relationship to grow upon.

4. You Form Lasting Memories

Close your eyes, think back to the last funeral you attended. Now attempt to recall yesterday’s breakfast. It comes as no surprise that the funeral was easily pictured. Everything from the smell of the parlor to the clothes of the deceased was brought to light. Why? Emotion has a fundamental evolutionary adaptation.

Emotion causes memories to “stick” because it served us best to remember and learn from emotional experiences in the past. Life, death, food, and love were the only things on the mind of our ancestors. It is no coincidence that they are also the cue to spark an emotional episode. You form lasting memories because you are innately predisposed to be emotional. Emotions serve to highlight experiences and learning often depends on it.

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5. You Are Resilient

The ability to bounce back after a fall is an under-appreciated personality characteristic. Emotional people are more resilient because they are more connected with their “why.” Following a set-back, emotion drives an individual to reflect and respond. Emotion turns an obstacle into a lesson.

6. You Are A Great Storyteller

If you haven’t had the pleasure of listening to Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History Series, you are truly missing out. Carlin is a storyteller, and a fantastic one. His narratives describe pivotal events in history. Carlin’s stories are effective at conveying meaning because Carlin injects genuine emotion into the tales he tells. Emotion captivates the listener transporting them from a passive bystander to an active participator. Emotional people are better storytellers because emotion ignites their words with meaning and purpose.

7. You Achieve By Creating

Art that makes you feel is an expression of emotion and is created by an endless intrinsic drive. Creating resides deep within the identity, sharing that same space that your emotional self is found and therefore creativity and emotion are innately linked.

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Devin Westland is a young artist diagnosed with several mental disabilities which require emotion to be self regulated. Art is Devin’s outlet:

“I would have nights where it was so bad I would have to keep my eyes open just to not go insane, because the thoughts I’d seen were so powerful it was almost as if I was inside them… I have learned to deal with these problems a little better, and art truly is a therapy for my brain. It helps release these thoughts onto the canvas, and clears my mind of all the insanity.”

Art, therapy, and emotion are linked for Devin, resulting in art laden with his creativity.

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8. You Prioritize Meaning…

… over materials. Things don’t make a person emotional, memories attached to those things induce emotion. Being emotional means that you cherish and value experience over possessions. Materialistic wealth is shallow and an emotional person considers a meaningful memory priceless.

9. You Lead

Emotion is contagious. Calling others to action requires persuasion. Emotion is the vector to transmit a leader’s enthusiasm to their people on the front line. Emotion also shows decisive conviction. A confident, emotional leader will find that compliance is seamless and unquestioned. Do you think Steve Jobs was emotionally stagnant?

Viewing your emotion as a positive personality trait results in strengthening the characteristics discussed above. Remember, at its  core, emotion causes you to distill more from life making it meaningful and pleasurable.

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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