Advertising
Advertising

7 Signs You Are Charismatic Even Though You Don’t Feel You Are

7 Signs You Are Charismatic Even Though You Don’t Feel You Are

It’s unfortunate that many of us do not give ourselves the credit that we deserve. Yet, we recognize and commend others for their gifts. We automatically recognize charisma the moment it enters the room, but we don’t see the same in ourselves or notice our own gifts, charm and attractiveness.

However, it is so important to appreciate yourself. Only when you appreciate yourself fully can you come out of the shadows and step into your true self. If you embrace who you are and all you have, then you’ll have all you need. You might not be as gifted as everyone else or have charisma 24/7, but you are just as sufficient.

Advertising

Here are seven signs you are charismatic even though you don’t feel you are.

1. You have a genuine spark of life that rubs off on others.

Charismatic people exude joy and enthusiasm about life. Other people feel inclined to invite them in experiences they are having because they just make you feel good and happy. They are lively and genuinely upbeat. If you take obvious pleasure in experiences, that’s a good sign. “Honest signals” is a term that refers to nonverbal cues that social species like us use to fine-tune our communication. Studies show that what makes honest signals unique is how they impact the person you’re talking to. The more happy and upbeat you are, the more-so your conversation partner becomes, says Professor Alex Pentland – who led a research ream to measure charisma’s power. Basically, Pentland’s work shows us: if you’re happy, it rubs off on others.

Advertising

2. You believe in something powerfully, and share that belief with others.

Charismatic people believe in something so strongly that they just can’t keep silent about it. They share that belief with others. Their passion and conviction oozes right out and their energy shines through to others. If you believe in something passionately, and your conviction is consistent with your action, that passion will trigger powerful emotions in those around you and make them feel happy to join the cause. That’s another good sign, right? Even if it triggers emotions and influences only one person to follow, it’s still a sign of charisma. You stand out the most when you are championing a cause or belief your passionate about.

3. You are a great storyteller.

Charismatic people are great at telling stories. They have a way with words. Their voice, their inflection, their mannerisms, everything is pleasant and easy to listen to. Moreover, their humor, metaphor and symbolism entertains while also informing. If you love a good story and can express drama and intrigue in a captivating way that others around you want to hear more, then you have something special in you. Your ability to spin a yarn that many of those who happen to listen can relate to is powerful. It can deeply connect, attract and influence people’s actions. That’s definitely a sign of charisma.

Advertising

4. You are empathetic.

Charismatic people are genuinely empathetic. They care about others as much as they care about themselves, if not more. You can see, hear and feel their energy comes from a place of empathy and wanting to improve other people’s state. They focus their eyes, ears, and soul on you. They listen to your problems and want to help. It has been said that when Bill Clinton speaks to you, he makes you feel like you are the only person on the planet. If you make others feel special; if you make them feel safe; if you make them feel loved; if you make them feel heard – that is a good sign. People are drawn to, connect with and follow you because they get strong, positive emotions in your presence.

5. You speak your mind.

Charismatic people don’t let a conversation go silent because they held back what was on their mind out of petty fears like, “What if I say something that makes me look stupid?” Or, “What will this person think of me?” They speak their mind openly and confidently. They don’t seek validation from others. That’s how they manage to appear so natural and sure of themselves. If you are self-confident, assured and not afraid to say what’s on your mind or speak in front of people, that is a sign of charisma. You talk openly about things, but you also listen intently.

Advertising

6. You acknowledge discomfort or threat and process it calmly — inwardly.

Charismatic people stay calm even in uncomfortable or threatening situations. They don’t get really nervous, squirmy or start talking all agitated. They are comfortable being uncomfortable. Can you imagine James Bond being nervous? You can’t. Come on, he’s James Bond. How can he be nervous? But that does not mean he is not scared to death dodging bullets and jumping out of flying aircrafts. His heart beats faster and faster every time, but he doesn’t show it on his face, voice or body language. He is fully aware that he could die, but he doesn’t break down into a nervous fit. If you acknowledge discomfort or threat when you encounter it, and process it inwardly, while calmly working on a solution – that’s a positive sign. It inspires others to remain calm and follow your cool and collected lead through difficulties.

7. You take risks in being vulnerable.

Charismatic people are more willing than most others to take conversational risks. They often abandon conversational scripts about discussing the weather and instead go a level deeper. They reveal something personal – even quirks. Sharing their quirks with others actually enhances their appeal and charisma. It shows people they are real. They aren’t fake and predictable. If you often take risks in being vulnerable with people, it is a mark of strength not weakness. That is a defining characteristic of people with charisma. For example, Oprah laying bare everything from her troubled childhood to her weight battles on national TV comes to mind. Your strength shines through your cracks and your vulnerabilities.

Bottom line:

Charisma is within. We all have it. You really don’t have to be Marilyn Monroe, Oprah or Brad Pitt to attract people towards you. If you accept this premise, then the question is not: “How can I have charisma.” The question is:“What are some of the ways in which I can reach within, tap into my charisma, and bring more out of myself in order to connect with more people?”

Featured photo credit: Charles Roffey via flickr.com

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

How to Construct a Killer Meeting Agenda That is Simple and Effective 25 Brain Exercises for Memory That Actually Help You Remember More 5 Types of Leadership that Help You Build a High Performance Team 10 Amazing Health Benefits Of Beer You Probably Never Knew 15 Funny Idioms You May Not Know (And What They Actually Mean)

Trending in Communication

1 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently 2 The Key to Happiness and Leading a Fulfilling Life 3 15 Inspiring Ideas to Boost Your Motivation for Success 4 Joy Vs Happiness: What’s the Difference and Can We Achieve Both? 5 How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on April 23, 2019

13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

Let me begin by being 100% frank with you – everyone is capable of happiness.

Happiness is first a choice but it also takes persistence to maintain. Happiness is our birth right and my mission is to help as many people as I can live their happiest life.

My mission is to spread the message that everyone deserves happiness.

To live a happy life; however, you must do the work, gain the necessary knowledge, and increase your awareness.

You must fully embody this state and begin to think and feel happiness on every level of your being.

Often times, excuses present themselves and our mind gives us the reasons why we can’t be happy:

“I am too busy right now to focus on happiness”

“I will be happy when I finish school, when I have the money, when I am in the right relationship, when I have kids, when my children are older….”

“I would have had a happy life if this traumatic event had never happened”

“I don’t deserve happiness”

EVERYONE deserves happiness. The reason that you are here right now is because you have a purpose and you are on the earth to enjoy your journey.

Think BIGGER than your excuses. Push FARTHER than your complaints.

Don’t be pulled away from greatness. Get uncomfortable. At least these are what happy and successful people do on a daily basis.

This article highlights the top 13 tips and tricks of how happy people think and feel.

If you would like to begin embodying this life-changing state, then… Here are the 13 ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently:

1. Happy People Put Happiness First

Happy people have made the decision that their end goal is happiness.

Every situation, event, bad day ultimately ends with happiness.

To them, happiness is equivalent to sleep and water – it is a necessity to their life. To live an unhappy life is to have never lived at all.

The happy person asks,

“What would be the point of living if every day and moment were filled with negativity?”

Advertising

“Why would I deplete my energy on negativity when I expend less to be positive?”

They make happy-based decisions which means in EVERY MOMENT they choose happiness.

If their circumstances can’t change then they instead change their perspective, they look for the silver lining in the negative.

Happy people don’t let negativity steal their moments away – a positive mindset always prevails.

If you ask a happy person how their day was, they will always answer your question with a highlight or a lesson learned.

2. Happy People Embrace Pain

I know what you are thinking –

“No one is ALWAYS happy”

or …

“Even happy people get in bad moods”

and …

These statements are absolutely accurate.

Happy people aren’t always happy and they DO get into bad moods. They get overwhelmed, they feel defeated, and their feelings get hurt.

Happy people aren’t invincible and they feel pain just like everyone else. The only difference between happy people and people who let negativity run their lives is that…

Happy people quickly acknowledge their pain and they make a decision to find a way to transform their pain into something greater. They also use these 13 simple ways to shake off the sadness.

Happy people admit the negativity they feel and they do what it takes to get back into their natural state: happiness.

When your end goal is happiness, then you will find a way to achieve it no matter how much strength you have to muster.

3. Happy People Have a Happy Self-Image

We all have an image in our minds that we subconsciously live up to.

The reason that change is so hard is because our subconscious mind is programmed to live by how we define ourselves.

How are you currently defining yourself?

For happy people, they see themselves with a smile, positive outlook, and/or a bounce in their step. When an event or situation arises that brings in a negative emotion, they quickly change their state to resemble their natural self-image.

Advertising

When happy people are in a bad mood, it feels unusual to them because feeling negative isn’t aligned with how they see themselves.

When they feel upset, they acknowledge the negativity and look for a solution to bring their emotions to the level of how they perceive themselves.

Look at how you define yourself today – your mind and body are always trying to live up to the definition it is taught to believe.

Your body’s job is to keep you in a “normal” state because this is where it feels most comfortable.

If your self-image is happy, then your mind and body will naturally be brought back to where it feels at home. Your actions will be a clue to how you define yourself.

4. Happy People Have a Strong Support System

The happiest people know that it takes a village and they lean on others for support.

Happy people feel comfortable reaching out for help when they feel that their resistances are overpowering them. They quickly sense their negativity and they tell somebody.

Happy people ask for assistance when they can’t figure out a problem. Seeking help takes strength and it never gets in the way of their self-worth. Happy people appreciate the wisdom that their support system provides.

They have strong connections with the people who are close to them. They never trudge through tough times alone because jeopardizing their happiness for too long would be detrimental to their well-being.

5. Happy People Safeguard Their Minds from Negative Triggers

Warding off negativity is almost impossible when we live in a society that lives by what went wrong and feeds off of what could go wrong. News travels instantaneously so it would be unrealistic to shut this out of your life completely.

However, one strategy that happy people use to safeguard their minds is regulating their environment.

We have a lot of control on how we allow our environments to affect us. We can control our social media feed, the television shows and movies we watch, the books that we read, the people that we spend our time with, and the places that we hang out.

If happiness is your end goal, then take a good look at what is bringing you down. What triggers your unhappiness? See if there is anything in your environment that can be changed……

What we listen to, read, and who we hang out with influence our mind, what we think about, what we worry about, our reactions, and behaviors.

Happy people know what triggers a feeling of negativity and it feels out of alignment for them so they do what it takes to avoid it.

They might regulate their social media news feed to reflect the information that brings them positive energy. They might regulate the people that they spend their time with. It is important to hang out with like-minded people.

What are you triggers? How can you avoid the negativity in your environment?

These are ways that happy people regulate their environment and safeguard their minds.

6. Happy People Know When to Say “No”

Happy people know when to sit one out and say “no.” They do this to protect their happiness and well-being.

Life gets overwhelming – a lot of people need our attention and the to do list can seem never ending.

Advertising

Happy people give themselves permission to take the day off and they feel comfortable with saying “no” when their stress levels begin to climb. They understand that those around them aren’t benefiting from someone who is frazzled, overwhelmed, and tired.

A happy person identifies their negative emotion and then they quickly treat it to bring themselves back to their “normal” state, so that they can be at their best for not only themselves but for those around them, too.

A simple “no” can ultimately mean many more “yes’s” in the future because happiness has a long battery life. You can take a look at Leo Babauta’s article The Gentle Art of Saying No and learn to say no.

7. Happy People Are Good Evaluators

Happy people can quickly sense when something is off with themselves or others. They are very intuitive to happiness levels. When someone isn’t quite right, they are the first ones to notice.

Being able to evaluate happiness means that you can identify when negativity is lingering around for too long.

We all have bad days; however, the happy person evaluates often and quickly intervenes.

In other words, happy people frequently evaluate their state and immediately change when their pessimism is overshadowing their joy.

8. Happy People Bring Other People Up

What goes on inside of us is mirrored into our physical world.

What we think about literally consumes our life and is displayed in our work, relationships, and attitude.

Happy people naturally feel good inside and about themselves so they treat others the way that they treat themselves. It never feels forced to give a compliment or to help out a stranger.

When we are truly happy with ourselves, everyone around us has a better experience. Happy people are kind to themselves and because of this, it feels natural to them to want to make others’ happy, too.

9. Happy People Go After Their Dreams

Happy people are always following the joyful path. They make happy-based decisions and because of this, they always end up where they want to be.

It’s absolutely impossible to be happy by following an undesirable path, which is quite opposite for unhappy people.

Most people journey through life on a path they think they are “supposed” to be own. Warning signs (negativity) are often ignored because they truly believe that these feelings are a normal part of life.

Negativity is NOT normal.

The happiest people investigate the negativity in their life and quickly analyze the results. This process allows them to get back on the joyful path which ends in a desirable outcome.

Follow your happiness and your dreams will come true (If that isn’t motivation then I don’t know what is!)

In addition to happiness, here are 14 amazing things that happen when you live your passion.

10. Happy People Never Sweat the Small Stuff

The only expectation that the happy person has is that they remain in a joyful state.

They rarely have expectations for the events and people in their lives because they know that this is a sure way to get let down.

Advertising

The happiest people take life as it comes – you could say that they roll with the punches. When you don’t have expectations, thenyoue can just sit back and watch how beautifully life unfolds.

Happy people understand that bad things are inevitable, they are a part of life – The car will break, the kids will make mistakes, people will be late, and dinner will burn.

If it’s not anything seriously affecting their lives, then they don’t give their energy to it.

11. Happy People Rarely Have to Prove That They Are Right

Happy people remember that it’s more important to live up to what they believe. When you live your life aligned with your belief system, then there is no need to explain or prove yourself to others.

Differences in opinions are inevitable, but the happiest of people know it’s wasted energy to defend their position.

It is more effective to simply show people, through actions, how you think, feel, and what you believe.

Energy is saved, arguments are diminished, and credibility/respect are gained when we live by what we believe.

12. Happy People Smile (Even When They Don’t Want To)

Smiling is one of the healthiest things we can do; and happy people use this simple trick quite often.

It has been proven that smiling has the ability to boost your immune system, decrease stress levels, and can even make you look younger. The benefits of smiling have even been backed up by science.[1]

Better yet, smiling is contagious. When you engage in a quick smile, you are likely to brighten someone else’s day along with your own. It is no wonder why happy people smile often!

13. Happy People Live Life in the Present Moment.

When we are genuinely happy, we are living for the moment.

Happy people let go of the past, enjoy the present, and look forward to the future. They take the moments for what they are worth – they only invest their energy in what feels right to them.

Everyone is capable of living a happy-centered life. You deserve a life that you desire – your dream life. All you have to start doing is make happy-based decisions TODAY.

In every moment, decide on what makes you happy – decide on what gets you excited. Stop doing what you don’t love, don’t listen to the people that you dislike.

If you are engaging in something that isn’t bringing you joy, then quit doing it. Listen to your heart, stop ignoring the warning signs (negativity) because they are there for a reason.

I have observed, studied, and interviewed some of the happiest and most successful people along with some of the most miserable and self-loathing.

It starts with one decision – happiness.

The happiest, most successful people choose happiness with EACH and EVERY decision. And you can start doing this today.

Featured photo credit: Autumn Goodman via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Harvard Business Review: The Science Behind the Smile

Read Next