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7 Signs You Are Charismatic Even Though You Don’t Feel You Are

7 Signs You Are Charismatic Even Though You Don’t Feel You Are

It’s unfortunate that many of us do not give ourselves the credit that we deserve. Yet, we recognize and commend others for their gifts. We automatically recognize charisma the moment it enters the room, but we don’t see the same in ourselves or notice our own gifts, charm and attractiveness.

However, it is so important to appreciate yourself. Only when you appreciate yourself fully can you come out of the shadows and step into your true self. If you embrace who you are and all you have, then you’ll have all you need. You might not be as gifted as everyone else or have charisma 24/7, but you are just as sufficient.

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Here are seven signs you are charismatic even though you don’t feel you are.

1. You have a genuine spark of life that rubs off on others.

Charismatic people exude joy and enthusiasm about life. Other people feel inclined to invite them in experiences they are having because they just make you feel good and happy. They are lively and genuinely upbeat. If you take obvious pleasure in experiences, that’s a good sign. “Honest signals” is a term that refers to nonverbal cues that social species like us use to fine-tune our communication. Studies show that what makes honest signals unique is how they impact the person you’re talking to. The more happy and upbeat you are, the more-so your conversation partner becomes, says Professor Alex Pentland – who led a research ream to measure charisma’s power. Basically, Pentland’s work shows us: if you’re happy, it rubs off on others.

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2. You believe in something powerfully, and share that belief with others.

Charismatic people believe in something so strongly that they just can’t keep silent about it. They share that belief with others. Their passion and conviction oozes right out and their energy shines through to others. If you believe in something passionately, and your conviction is consistent with your action, that passion will trigger powerful emotions in those around you and make them feel happy to join the cause. That’s another good sign, right? Even if it triggers emotions and influences only one person to follow, it’s still a sign of charisma. You stand out the most when you are championing a cause or belief your passionate about.

3. You are a great storyteller.

Charismatic people are great at telling stories. They have a way with words. Their voice, their inflection, their mannerisms, everything is pleasant and easy to listen to. Moreover, their humor, metaphor and symbolism entertains while also informing. If you love a good story and can express drama and intrigue in a captivating way that others around you want to hear more, then you have something special in you. Your ability to spin a yarn that many of those who happen to listen can relate to is powerful. It can deeply connect, attract and influence people’s actions. That’s definitely a sign of charisma.

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4. You are empathetic.

Charismatic people are genuinely empathetic. They care about others as much as they care about themselves, if not more. You can see, hear and feel their energy comes from a place of empathy and wanting to improve other people’s state. They focus their eyes, ears, and soul on you. They listen to your problems and want to help. It has been said that when Bill Clinton speaks to you, he makes you feel like you are the only person on the planet. If you make others feel special; if you make them feel safe; if you make them feel loved; if you make them feel heard – that is a good sign. People are drawn to, connect with and follow you because they get strong, positive emotions in your presence.

5. You speak your mind.

Charismatic people don’t let a conversation go silent because they held back what was on their mind out of petty fears like, “What if I say something that makes me look stupid?” Or, “What will this person think of me?” They speak their mind openly and confidently. They don’t seek validation from others. That’s how they manage to appear so natural and sure of themselves. If you are self-confident, assured and not afraid to say what’s on your mind or speak in front of people, that is a sign of charisma. You talk openly about things, but you also listen intently.

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6. You acknowledge discomfort or threat and process it calmly — inwardly.

Charismatic people stay calm even in uncomfortable or threatening situations. They don’t get really nervous, squirmy or start talking all agitated. They are comfortable being uncomfortable. Can you imagine James Bond being nervous? You can’t. Come on, he’s James Bond. How can he be nervous? But that does not mean he is not scared to death dodging bullets and jumping out of flying aircrafts. His heart beats faster and faster every time, but he doesn’t show it on his face, voice or body language. He is fully aware that he could die, but he doesn’t break down into a nervous fit. If you acknowledge discomfort or threat when you encounter it, and process it inwardly, while calmly working on a solution – that’s a positive sign. It inspires others to remain calm and follow your cool and collected lead through difficulties.

7. You take risks in being vulnerable.

Charismatic people are more willing than most others to take conversational risks. They often abandon conversational scripts about discussing the weather and instead go a level deeper. They reveal something personal – even quirks. Sharing their quirks with others actually enhances their appeal and charisma. It shows people they are real. They aren’t fake and predictable. If you often take risks in being vulnerable with people, it is a mark of strength not weakness. That is a defining characteristic of people with charisma. For example, Oprah laying bare everything from her troubled childhood to her weight battles on national TV comes to mind. Your strength shines through your cracks and your vulnerabilities.

Bottom line:

Charisma is within. We all have it. You really don’t have to be Marilyn Monroe, Oprah or Brad Pitt to attract people towards you. If you accept this premise, then the question is not: “How can I have charisma.” The question is:“What are some of the ways in which I can reach within, tap into my charisma, and bring more out of myself in order to connect with more people?”

Featured photo credit: Charles Roffey via flickr.com

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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