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12 Weird Little Things Couples In A Long-Term Relationship Do

12 Weird Little Things Couples In A Long-Term Relationship Do

There comes a point in everyone’s relationship where things just get weird. The level of weird is completely normal to the two of you but to onlookers and friends, it’s almost unacceptable behavior. Here are some things couples in long-term relationships do that are a tad bit weird to the outside world.

1. Your bodily smells are no longer a gray area

After a certain period of time, farts and burps just become amusing. On second thought, the ones that don’t smell like a decaying body or a fresh pile of crap, are amusing. Throughout the course of your relationship, the importance of hiding your farts and excusing your burps have slowly dwindled down because you both are more comfortable with each other. It is just another step deeper into a long-term relationship and this step is inevitable, so don’t try to stop it.

2. You both think it is necessary to narrate your pets life

There is something particularly amusing to the two of you for your animal to have a voice. On more than one occasion, either you or your other half has put words to their actions because it’s funny. They can’t talk, so we must talk for them.

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3. You have seen each other wear the opposite sex’s clothing

This one is something that everyone won’t admit to, especially the men, but everyone has seen and done it. Women across the world have a sweater or two stretched out because someone thought it was funny to prance around in it along with their bra on. Guys have seen many sweaters move from their side of the closet to their other half’s. It is a normal thing in a long term relationship. A stretched out sweater is worth being stretched for the memory of a guy wearing it in combination with a bra and grabbing his imaginary boobs.

4. Morning breath doesn’t bother you as much

When the relationship was new, you creeped your way out of bed to brush your teeth and crawled back in before the other woke up. Now, morning breath is just another natural thing you need to get over because everyone has it and you both have accepted it. Mornings just consist of “Morning babe” with a huge smooch on the lips or cheek, maybe more if it’s a good morning.

5. Binge eating and watching Netflix all day is acceptable in your household

You both have had Saturday mornings where you rolled out of bed, made food, taken your dog out to pee as you narrated him finding his perfect pee spot, cooked breakfast and stayed in your PJ’s watching Netflix. This goes on all day and both of your stomachs are bottomless pits of hunger. This is perfectly acceptable because there is two of you doing it.

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6. You use each other as an excuse to skip out on plans

You both just want to have a night in to watch TV and drink where it’s cheaper than $8 a beer. This is usually when one of you pretends to be the bad guy and has to act like you don’t want to go so the other person looks like they are legitimately trying to make the plans. In another occasion if both of you want to look like the good guy, one of you plays sick. In reality though, you are both terrible people and have accepted this because you rather watch Netflix in your sweats than pretend to be a good person anyways.

7. You can communicate telepathically

There are weird things that you do with your eyes when you are both at social gatherings, getting stopped by sales people or in a crowded place somewhere. There are expressions that mean stay away, I’m having a bad day, I”m hungry. If one of you suddenly lost the ability to either talk or hear, both of you will be fine off of facial expressions.

8. You both laugh when the other falls…and then stop when they don’t get up

There have been times at the beginning of your relationship where the other one falls and you rush to their side. Now, if one of them is…knocked down sideways because the dog ran right into them, for example, you now immediately die of laughter. You both laugh at each other falling down, tripping, or slipping. It is all good fun unless you don’t see them get up.

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9. You both aren’t embarrassed to relive your childhood

The two of you on countless occasions have built forts, played with light sabers through the house, played with Legos, even if you don’t have a child, and have scared each other by hiding around the corners of the house. It’s normal, and it’s fun. Anyone who doesn’t accept this from the two of you are basically put on the list of “let’s make an excuse to get out of plans with them”.

10. You send each other text message when you are in the same area

There have been times where the both of you are sitting on the couch, or sitting at dinner and have sent a text message instead of physically talking. You have also use texting instead of getting out of the current room you are in to get your significant other’s attention.

11. Your bathroom is no longer a sacred domain

There was a point in your relationship where the bathroom was a place of solitude. Now, opening the door and doing what you need to do while your other half is in there is perfectly normal. Unless you’re the type of couple that likes a little mystery in their relationship…and mystery meaning that you don’t want to know what the other’s fresh poop smells like.

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12. You people watch and make up stories

When you go out to eat or go to the mall, small talk is no longer needed because you know a lot, too much actually, about that person. The two of you now focus on people watching and making up stories of their lives to match what they look like. Sometimes it gets to a deeper level of weird and you narrate their conversations.

Featured photo credit: Couple having crazy fun on the beach- Iztok Alf Kurnik via flickr.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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