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10 Things Only People Who Grew Up In Metropolitan Cities Would Understand

10 Things Only People Who Grew Up In Metropolitan Cities Would Understand

Metropolitan cities can be among the happiest or the loneliest places to grow up. It all depends on the way you see things. To most people, it can be a combination of both.

Among other things, you’re raised in a culture that encourages you to both work and play hard. And it is this very bifurcated lifestyle that makes you so different from the rest.

Having been born and raised in a metropolitan city myself, here is a list I have compiled of 10 things only people who grew up in metropolitan cities would understand.

1. You were raised playing a sport of some sort.

If you grew up in a metropolitan city, it’s highly likely that you grew up supporting a local sports team.

And in hopes of one day being among your heroes, you probably spent a lot of your days playing the sport either with your friends or better yet, as a part of an amateur team.

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So at some point in your life, if not for a prolonged period, you’ve virtually been fixated with the sport.

2. You have loyalty to certain local brands.

Big metropolitan cities may be a major market for large international companies but there are plenty of local brands as well. It doesn’t matter if they have established themselves globally or not, you have a soft corner for them.

You never cease to love these brands and they are parts of your connection to the city. You feel attached to the city when you use something that came out your local enterprise, in a distant land.

3. You have lived behind doors with multiple locks.

Life in big cities is loud. It’s not to mean that life in big cities is scary all the time. But more than once you must have lived behind doors with multiple locks. Remember that time when gang wars broke out around the corner?

Big cities are full of hustle and tussle and sometimes circumstances get crazy. For safety concerns, you and your family might have spent some nights inside a house with multiple locks on the door.

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4. You feel that being different is good.

“You laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at you because you’re all the same.” You must have lived by this Jonathan Davis quote as someone who grew up in a big city.You want to stand apart from others in the crowd.

The love for something different extends beyond personal motivation as well. You don’t want resort yourself to same sort of routine all the time. You always want to explore things new and march into the unknown.

5. You grew up really fast.

Kids in big cities seem to grow really fast. With so many people living around you as you grew up, it was very easy for you to be exposed to many of the ways and adversity of adult life. And with your parents busy in their vocations, you might also have needed to act like a grownup from the early stages of life.

Whether it be in the form of learning to drive, getting a taste of alcohol or going on a first date, you must have experienced the stuff of grown-ups at a pretty early age compared to kids from smaller cities.

6. You have seen the evolution of advanced technologies.

Metropolitan life is always in demand of change. It always wants to experience something new. And it’s served in that manner pretty aptly as well. The newest of technologies make their presence first known in these big cities as son as the are invented.

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Over the years, you must have seen the advancement of technologies at your city and in your life. You have lived through the early years of the internet, the growth of e-commerce, the emergence of social media and rise of smart phones. Things always keep changing in your cities.

7. You have read at schools with racial diversity.

The populace of metropolitan cities are generally diverse. People from different ancestries, races and cultures gather in such cities from all around the world. So as a student, you must have read at schools with racial diversity.

Having grown up in a racially diverse environment, you’re positive towards people of different cultures. Your friend circle is highly likely to be diverse in nature. Such is not the case in small towns where certain races are dominant.

8. You learned to use public transportation at a very young age.

Your folks were off to work and couldn’t always drive you to your destination. In those circumstances, you learned to use public transportation from a very tender age.

Whether it was going to school every day or visiting a relative or going to some fun event, you had to take public transportation at a very tender age. You should have plenty of vivid memories on buses as a child.

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9. You never had a legitimate reason to feel bored.

Boredom in a metropolitan city is very rare or almost doesn’t happen. There are too many things you can participate in. Feeling bored? There are plenty of fun things to do in these cities.

Visiting fun parks, discos, gaming parlors and late night parties are some of the common things people do to avoid boredom.

In those times you felt bored, you have visited malls, taken a free outdoor yoga classes, visited a stadium and cheered for your favorite football team or enjoyed street food.

10. You never had to wait long for your favorite band to come to town.

This is the most joyful reason to grow up in metropolitan cities. Whether you are a fan of international bands like AC/DC, Green Day, Metallica or local bands in your country, prepare yourself, they may visit your city anytime.

You may also get the chance to get an autograph or even to take pictures with them if you are lucky enough. Different bands frequently visit metropolitan cities enlarging your joy of being part of the city. Of course, you may have to struggle and skip work or school though to get a ticket.

Featured photo credit: Metropolitan City (Wikipedia) via upload.wikimedia.org

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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