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How To Communicate So Your Child Will Listen

How To Communicate So Your Child Will Listen

We all love to share and inspire our children with our wisdom and knowledge. To effectively deliver our wisdom and have our messages successfully delivered to them, is the real challenge. No matter how old your child is, there are ways that can help you connect better with them. Part of an effective communication is when the message we are trying to deliver is taken seriously by our children. We want them to be able to relate and understand what we are trying to tell them. What would our wisdom mean, if our children are not consciously and attentively listening to us? This comes down to a secret. It is all about listening.

If we are consciously aware of the way we communicates with our children, we can increase our chances of being heard. One of the most common mistakes we make is prioritizing what we have to say over what they have to say. So, here’s the trick. If we want our children to listen to us, we have to listen to them first! Of course, we have more experience in life. And yes, we know better, in most cases. After all, we have had way more life experience than them. However, we need to understand this: good communication goes both ways. Before we pour our wisdom over them, we have to first listen to what they have to say. It sounds fairly simple. In many cases, you might even think, “Why does what they have to say matter?” The truth is, they do matter.

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Understanding our children is so crucial in building a healthy and happy relationship with them. Listening attentively, with minimal to zero distraction, will help our children feel appreciated. When they are being heard, they will realize that what they share really does matter to us. One of the many things that parents often neglect is how much their children appreciate having their parents having interest in what they have to say. Listening not only lets you get closer to your child, but also shows them how much their thoughts are valued. Your child will appreciate your genuine concern for them. When you listen to your child, you will be able to understand where they are coming from, their real intentions, and their concerns. You will be able to enter their world, and they will tell you things that you might not usually know about them. Relating to them will no longer be a problem. Since you listen to them, they will listen to you. You can then use your wisdom and knowledge to help them grow. Connecting with your child will be so much easier once you hear them out first.

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Listening may seem like a simple thing to do; however, listening attentively can actually be a challenge to many people. The pace of modern society has us stuck to the constant activities that we have to constantly attend to daily. Often, we might find it hard to concentrate and focus on one thing at a time. However, if our children are important to us, we should really focus our time on them. To be able to sit down and share moments of a good conversation with them are as important as making your child eat well or do well in school. You will be amazed when your child starts sharing things that they have never shared with you before.

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True communication happens when you begin to learn to truly listen. For them to listen to us, we have to first listen to them. Remember, we are the role model for our children. What they will soon become tomorrow strongly reflects on what we are to them today. What they do is strongly influenced by what we did. If we practice a good listening attitude, our children will also learn to listen to us, and become the person we raise them to be.

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Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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