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How To Communicate So Your Child Will Listen

How To Communicate So Your Child Will Listen

We all love to share and inspire our children with our wisdom and knowledge. To effectively deliver our wisdom and have our messages successfully delivered to them, is the real challenge. No matter how old your child is, there are ways that can help you connect better with them. Part of an effective communication is when the message we are trying to deliver is taken seriously by our children. We want them to be able to relate and understand what we are trying to tell them. What would our wisdom mean, if our children are not consciously and attentively listening to us? This comes down to a secret. It is all about listening.

If we are consciously aware of the way we communicates with our children, we can increase our chances of being heard. One of the most common mistakes we make is prioritizing what we have to say over what they have to say. So, here’s the trick. If we want our children to listen to us, we have to listen to them first! Of course, we have more experience in life. And yes, we know better, in most cases. After all, we have had way more life experience than them. However, we need to understand this: good communication goes both ways. Before we pour our wisdom over them, we have to first listen to what they have to say. It sounds fairly simple. In many cases, you might even think, “Why does what they have to say matter?” The truth is, they do matter.

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Understanding our children is so crucial in building a healthy and happy relationship with them. Listening attentively, with minimal to zero distraction, will help our children feel appreciated. When they are being heard, they will realize that what they share really does matter to us. One of the many things that parents often neglect is how much their children appreciate having their parents having interest in what they have to say. Listening not only lets you get closer to your child, but also shows them how much their thoughts are valued. Your child will appreciate your genuine concern for them. When you listen to your child, you will be able to understand where they are coming from, their real intentions, and their concerns. You will be able to enter their world, and they will tell you things that you might not usually know about them. Relating to them will no longer be a problem. Since you listen to them, they will listen to you. You can then use your wisdom and knowledge to help them grow. Connecting with your child will be so much easier once you hear them out first.

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Listening may seem like a simple thing to do; however, listening attentively can actually be a challenge to many people. The pace of modern society has us stuck to the constant activities that we have to constantly attend to daily. Often, we might find it hard to concentrate and focus on one thing at a time. However, if our children are important to us, we should really focus our time on them. To be able to sit down and share moments of a good conversation with them are as important as making your child eat well or do well in school. You will be amazed when your child starts sharing things that they have never shared with you before.

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True communication happens when you begin to learn to truly listen. For them to listen to us, we have to first listen to them. Remember, we are the role model for our children. What they will soon become tomorrow strongly reflects on what we are to them today. What they do is strongly influenced by what we did. If we practice a good listening attitude, our children will also learn to listen to us, and become the person we raise them to be.

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Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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