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6 Things I Refuse To Say To My Two-Year-Old Daughter

6 Things I Refuse To Say To My Two-Year-Old Daughter

Kids hear everything. Even when they pretend not to listen, they are taking in every word and tone and nuance that comes out of our mouths as parents.

I have a two-year-old daughter, and it becomes more and more obvious to me every day how much she is soaking up the world around her like a sponge. It is truly magical to watch her learn and explore and develop as she becomes more independent in her own little toddler body.

It is also really scary, because I’ve realized that I’m a huge part of that development.

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Everything I say gets repeated back to me right now in a beautiful, two-year-old voice. It may be a phrase I only said in passing, but she holds tight to it and repeats it over and over again for practice. She mimics my tone, my personality, my expressions. She is forming her own personality and views of the world, and, whether I like it or not, my words have a huge impact on who she will become and how she will see herself.

Here are the six things I refuse to say to my two-year-old daughter.

1. You won’t like that

I don’t want to decide for my daughter what she will and won’t like. I can assume she may spit out that bite of raw broccoli or spicy curry she’s asking for, but I want her to make the decision on her own. The same goes for listening to new music or reading a new book. Too often we make decisions for our kids, assuming we know what their preferences are. Unless it’s a safety issue, I will let my daughter explore and try different things so she can develop her own tastes and ownership over her decisions.

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2. Your daddy forgot to…

Maybe it was daddy’s turn to wash her favorite pajamas or pick up her beloved crackers from the store, but nothing good comes from me putting blame on my partner in front of my daughter. If there is something my husband and I disagree on, I’ll tell my daughter, “Daddy and I will talk about that and make a plan.” Our daughter needs to know our home and our family are constant and safe. When I talk to my daughter about mommy and daddy, it is always “we”.

3. That makes mommy look fat

About six months ago I was doing a quick check in the mirror and, without thinking, said, “Mommy has to change clothes really fast, honey. This makes her look fat today.” I wanted to pull every word back in as soon as it left my lips. I will never again say a disparaging word about my body in front of my daughter. Our society promises to inundate her with plenty of visions of what she “should” look like physically. I want her to see a mommy who loves her own body, appreciates women of all shapes and sizes, and works out to be strong rather than skinny.

4. Act like a big girl

Just this morning my daughter was crying and whining at the table, and my husband and I said, “Honey, do big girls cry at the table? Does mommy cry at the table?” Well, I have, actually. Does that mean I’m not a big girl? If I don’t know what big girls do, then I shouldn’t be asking my daughter to be one. Instead, I’ll use words and explanations with her to explain why I want her to change her behavior. “Honey, we are done eating breakfast now. There is no need to cry, because we aren’t having any more food. Let’s go play with our toys, instead.”

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There are days this will work, and days it won’t, but at least she won’t have a confusing image of some other “big” girl she thinks I want her to be.

5. You are growing up too fast

While I may spend my days wishing I could slow down the clock and soak in this time just a little longer, I will not tell my daughter that. She is too young to understand the sentiment attached to this saying. Instead, she will simply think she is doing something wrong and that I want her to change. Time is moving perfectly in her world, and she is progressing exactly as she should.

6. I love you more than anything in the world

I knew my parents loved me, but I never really understood how much until I had my own child. I think this is the way it’s meant to be. My daughter needs to know she is loved, that she is my priority, that I would do anything to protect her, that I believe in her, that I support her, and that I am always here — no matter what. She doesn’t need to think she alone is responsible for my happiness. She doesn’t need to think it is her job to make me happy. Instead of saying the truth of “I love you more than anything in the world”, I tell her “I love you this much!” and spread my arms as wide as they will go. Then, I hug her tightly while she giggles in my ear and asks for “more, mommy!”

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The words and communication styles I use with my daughter will evolve as she changes and matures. I’ll openly discuss body image and eating habits with her when she’s established her confidence and love of her own body. I’ll be open with her if her dad and I disagree, so she can see that a difference of opinion has no bearing on our love for her or our love for each other. I will look forward to the day she holds her own child and finally grasps how much I really love her.

Until then, I’ll keep these phrases tucked away and out of reach of little, hungry ears. I’ll continue to do my best to navigate this crazy world of raising a daughter. And, after she falls asleep at night, I’ll happily whisper to her, “I love you more than anything in the world.”

Featured photo credit: Greg Westfall via imcreator.com

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home

Your house is more than just a building that you live in. It should be a home that makes you feel welcome as soon as you open the front door.

Making your house feel like a home is not something that simply happens on its own. You need to make some changes to a house when you move in, to give it that cozy, warm feeling that turns it into a true home. To help you speed the process, follow this guide to 10 small changes to make your house feel like a home.

1. Make the Windows Your Own

When you move into a home, they often come with boring Venetian blinds or less than attractive curtains.

One of the best ways you can instantly warm your home and make it showcase your style is to add some new window dressing. Adding beautiful curtains not only improves your home’s appearance, but it can also help to control the temperature.

2. Put up Some Art

If you have a lot of bare walls in your home, it will seem sterile no matter how beautiful your paint or wallpaper is.

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Hanging art on the walls will instantly give it personality and make it feel like home.

3. Improve the Aroma

A house that is not filled with inviting smells will never feel like a home. There are loads of ways you can make your home smell nice. There are tons of air fresheners on the market you can use.

Incense and scented candles are a nice option as well. Don’t forget that baking in a home is also a great way to fill it with an aroma that instantly smells like home as soon as you open the front door.

4. Put out Lots of Pillows and Throws

A great way to make your home look warm and inviting is to place lots of pillows and throws out on the furniture. It is much better to have too many pillows than not enough.

There is nothing like the feeling of sinking into a cushiony pillow that feels like a cloud to make you feel like you are at home.

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5. Instantly Class up Your Closet

If your closet is filled with wire or plastic hangers, it will never truly feel homey. To instantly make your closet feel classy, change out your old hangers for wooden ones.

Not only do they look great, but they are better for hanging your clothes as well.

6. Improve Your Air Quality

One of the most overlooked ways to make your house feel more like a home is to improve its air quality.

The easiest and best way to upgrade the air quality in your home is to change the old, dirty filters in your furnace regularly. Get some air filters delivered to your home so that you always have some on hand.

7. Fill it with Plants

Another way to improve the air quality in your home is to fill it with plants. You should have plants in every room of your home.

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They help to improve the air quality and they look beautiful. As well as making your home appear homier, plants also help to boost your mood and lower your stress levels.

8. Change the Doorknobs

Most people don’t really give their doorknobs a second thought unless they are broken. That is a shame because changing your doorknobs is an easy way to add personality to your home.

Changing your old, boring doorknobs to new ones that are works of art will instantly brighten your home.

9. Upgrade Your Tub or Shower

There is nothing like luxuriating in a whirlpool bath or steam shower to make the cares of the day melt away. Your family deserves a bit of luxury when they are in their bathroom.

Install a new shower or tub today to make your bathroom worthy of a place in your home.

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10. Fresh Cut Flowers

You can make any room in your house feel homier by placing a vase full of beautiful flowers in it. The gorgeous look and intoxicating aroma of fresh cut flowers will immediately brighten your day when you encounter them.

You don’t have to make all these changes at once. Try one or two a day though, and your house will feel like a home before you know it. The trick is to constantly keep adding these homey touches to make your home a place worthy of its name.

Featured photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-wooden-round-analog-wall-clock-on-brown-wooden-wall-121537/ via unsplash.com

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