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10 Things to Remember If You Love a Person Who Lost a Father

10 Things to Remember If You Love a Person Who Lost a Father

Losing a father can be a huge emotional burden. We all grieve and show our losses differently. For many who have gone through something like this, the impact can be everlasting. It best to remember certain things as you show your love to someone who has lost a father.

1. They struggle with a lot of frightening emotions.

Someone who has just lost a father struggles with intense feelings. Some of these could be feelings of disappointment, depression and guilt. Through this period, the person feels alone and lost. Sometimes they want to be left alone to deal with his or her grief.

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2. They want to have their father back.

No matter what anyone says, they will want to have their lost father back. Nothing is as comforting as seeing him again. Yet something they can hold on to are his memories and the wonderful times he spent with them. Sometimes that “fatherly” presence can be shown by you, the loved one, to them.

3. They need to be understood.

Going through a period of mourning and grief can be mysterious and carry a lot of intense emotions. During this period, they pass through several phases in trying to deal with their emotions and grief. Try to understand that they may seem a bit unstable during this time.

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4. They want to relive the memories.

Every now and then, they will want to talk about how much their lost father meant to them. The sweet and spectacular things he did and what made him a great dad to them. Reliving the memories about their father is a way for them to heal and reconnect.

5. They are able to define loss.

Losing a father means losing someone significant in your life. At this point, they know what loss means and how terrible it can make you feel. Every moment they spend now becomes fragile, and they treat persons and things they are still connected to with deeper emotions. Through this period they are able to explain to themselves and to anyone who wants to listen what loss means.

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6. They can forgive.

Never have they understood the depth of forgiveness better. Phrases like “thank you” and “I am sorry” means a lot to them at this point. And it is not just in them listening to it, but also in them stating it.

7. They are open to help.

Whatever can be done to make them continue the journey of life inspires and strengthens them. They are open to help and assistance from others who are ready to render such.

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8. They understand the fragility of life.

No matter how courageous they may have seemed, they now understand the true nature of existence; that no matter how desperately you cling to something or someone, people can suddenly leave. Beyond this, they want to appreciate everyone who is still around and important in their lives.

9. They want to be respected.

Losing a father is a painful psychological experience. Whatever they’re going through or they desire should be respected. Loving someone who has lost a father means valuing their wishes, opinions and beliefs on their loss.

10. They are mentally and emotionally strong.

It is easy to think or accept that someone who has lost a father is weaker due to their struggle. It is easy to also think that they are afraid and may have lost their sting due to such a terrible experience. But such conclusions and affirmations can be wrong. People who have lost a father are strong, formidable and conscious of what has been lost. They can wake up to keep on going and appreciating every moment that is spend with their friends, family and loved ones. Through this process, they are reborn and understand why and how they have to continue living the legacy or the values that were instilled in them by their fathers.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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