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10 Things to Remember If You Love a Person Who Lost a Father

10 Things to Remember If You Love a Person Who Lost a Father

Losing a father can be a huge emotional burden. We all grieve and show our losses differently. For many who have gone through something like this, the impact can be everlasting. It best to remember certain things as you show your love to someone who has lost a father.

1. They struggle with a lot of frightening emotions.

Someone who has just lost a father struggles with intense feelings. Some of these could be feelings of disappointment, depression and guilt. Through this period, the person feels alone and lost. Sometimes they want to be left alone to deal with his or her grief.

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2. They want to have their father back.

No matter what anyone says, they will want to have their lost father back. Nothing is as comforting as seeing him again. Yet something they can hold on to are his memories and the wonderful times he spent with them. Sometimes that “fatherly” presence can be shown by you, the loved one, to them.

3. They need to be understood.

Going through a period of mourning and grief can be mysterious and carry a lot of intense emotions. During this period, they pass through several phases in trying to deal with their emotions and grief. Try to understand that they may seem a bit unstable during this time.

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4. They want to relive the memories.

Every now and then, they will want to talk about how much their lost father meant to them. The sweet and spectacular things he did and what made him a great dad to them. Reliving the memories about their father is a way for them to heal and reconnect.

5. They are able to define loss.

Losing a father means losing someone significant in your life. At this point, they know what loss means and how terrible it can make you feel. Every moment they spend now becomes fragile, and they treat persons and things they are still connected to with deeper emotions. Through this period they are able to explain to themselves and to anyone who wants to listen what loss means.

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6. They can forgive.

Never have they understood the depth of forgiveness better. Phrases like “thank you” and “I am sorry” means a lot to them at this point. And it is not just in them listening to it, but also in them stating it.

7. They are open to help.

Whatever can be done to make them continue the journey of life inspires and strengthens them. They are open to help and assistance from others who are ready to render such.

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8. They understand the fragility of life.

No matter how courageous they may have seemed, they now understand the true nature of existence; that no matter how desperately you cling to something or someone, people can suddenly leave. Beyond this, they want to appreciate everyone who is still around and important in their lives.

9. They want to be respected.

Losing a father is a painful psychological experience. Whatever they’re going through or they desire should be respected. Loving someone who has lost a father means valuing their wishes, opinions and beliefs on their loss.

10. They are mentally and emotionally strong.

It is easy to think or accept that someone who has lost a father is weaker due to their struggle. It is easy to also think that they are afraid and may have lost their sting due to such a terrible experience. But such conclusions and affirmations can be wrong. People who have lost a father are strong, formidable and conscious of what has been lost. They can wake up to keep on going and appreciating every moment that is spend with their friends, family and loved ones. Through this process, they are reborn and understand why and how they have to continue living the legacy or the values that were instilled in them by their fathers.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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