Losing a father can be a huge emotional burden. We all grieve and show our losses differently. For many who have gone through something like this, the impact can be everlasting. It best to remember certain things as you show your love to someone who has lost a father.
1. They struggle with a lot of frightening emotions.
Someone who has just lost a father struggles with intense feelings. Some of these could be feelings of disappointment, depression and guilt. Through this period, the person feels alone and lost. Sometimes they want to be left alone to deal with his or her grief.
2. They want to have their father back.
No matter what anyone says, they will want to have their lost father back. Nothing is as comforting as seeing him again. Yet something they can hold on to are his memories and the wonderful times he spent with them. Sometimes that “fatherly” presence can be shown by you, the loved one, to them.
3. They need to be understood.
Going through a period of mourning and grief can be mysterious and carry a lot of intense emotions. During this period, they pass through several phases in trying to deal with their emotions and grief. Try to understand that they may seem a bit unstable during this time.
4. They want to relive the memories.
Every now and then, they will want to talk about how much their lost father meant to them. The sweet and spectacular things he did and what made him a great dad to them. Reliving the memories about their father is a way for them to heal and reconnect.
5. They are able to define loss.
Losing a father means losing someone significant in your life. At this point, they know what loss means and how terrible it can make you feel. Every moment they spend now becomes fragile, and they treat persons and things they are still connected to with deeper emotions. Through this period they are able to explain to themselves and to anyone who wants to listen what loss means.
6. They can forgive.
Never have they understood the depth of forgiveness better. Phrases like “thank you” and “I am sorry” means a lot to them at this point. And it is not just in them listening to it, but also in them stating it.
7. They are open to help.
Whatever can be done to make them continue the journey of life inspires and strengthens them. They are open to help and assistance from others who are ready to render such.
8. They understand the fragility of life.
No matter how courageous they may have seemed, they now understand the true nature of existence; that no matter how desperately you cling to something or someone, people can suddenly leave. Beyond this, they want to appreciate everyone who is still around and important in their lives.
9. They want to be respected.
Losing a father is a painful psychological experience. Whatever they’re going through or they desire should be respected. Loving someone who has lost a father means valuing their wishes, opinions and beliefs on their loss.
10. They are mentally and emotionally strong.
It is easy to think or accept that someone who has lost a father is weaker due to their struggle. It is easy to also think that they are afraid and may have lost their sting due to such a terrible experience. But such conclusions and affirmations can be wrong. People who have lost a father are strong, formidable and conscious of what has been lost. They can wake up to keep on going and appreciating every moment that is spend with their friends, family and loved ones. Through this process, they are reborn and understand why and how they have to continue living the legacy or the values that were instilled in them by their fathers.
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