Advertising
Advertising

3 Proven Ways To Succeed At Work Today

3 Proven Ways To Succeed At Work Today

When I began my career as a letter carrier, I knew that was my entryway into the federal workforce. But I also knew that IT was not my final destination. If I wanted to advance in my career, I had to do what my co-workers were not willing to do. So I volunteered for extra work assignments, helped my supervisors with their workload, and whenever I saw a void, I quickly filled it. In less than three years, I was supervising the very office that I had started out in as a letter carrier. And not only that, I had the respect and cooperation of every employee in the building because they saw my strong work ethic.

Do you want to advance in your chosen career field? If so, then take the following examples as a lesson.

1. Look for ways to add value.

In his book, Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success, author Adam Grant shows that those who give in business are the ones that get ahead. When you proactively seek out ways to add value for others, you set yourself up to receive what you want in the future.

Advertising

Venture capitalist David Hornik, profiled in Grant’s book, gives entrepreneurs a chance to present ideas to him. If he’s intrigued, he backs the deal with his own money. He also gives in other ways. He openly shares information on his blog and even responds to emails from complete strangers. That’s how I was able to interview him. Hornik believes that success comes when you routinely pay attention to the needs of other people and find a way to fulfill that need. As Albert Einstein once said, “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” When you strive to be of value, your success is sure to follow. Who can you add value to in your company?

Action Item: Set an alarm on your cell-phone and block out 15-20 minutes once a week to jot down new ideas you can begin implementing at your workplace that will help add value to your employer.

2. Give with no expectation to receive.

I recently subscribed to the email list of Selena Soo. She is a publicity and business coach. In a case study she sent me, she mentions that she went from $0 to $157,000 in her first year as a coach. How you might ask? She did it by giving. That was a game-changer for her. When she realized giving with no expectation of return was the way to ethically get ahead, she did just that. She shares how she helped New York Times Best-Seller Ramit Sethi. He asked her for some feedback on his new website, and instead of just saying she liked version A or B, she dissected his website with some friends and sent him a detailed report with her feedback. She didn’t have to do this, but she did. She gave him more than what he asked for and was able to stand out. When she needed his assistance in the future, he was more than happy to help.

Advertising

What can you take away from Soo’s example? At your place of employment, how can you give more? How can you do more of what is expected of you? What would you want someone to do for you? Why not do that for someone at your job, whether it’s a co-worker or your boss?

Action Item: Get into the habit of skimming a lot of publications. Bookmark articles of interest and send the articles to key people in your organization with an email saying: “FYI, thought this might interest you.”

 3. Focus on helping others succeed.

The 2015 Dream Project Symposium is the brainchild of CEO Teneshia Jackson Warner. This is not just your ordinary business conference, but a symposium for all individuals who dare to dream bigger for their lives and businesses. I had the opportunity to interview Warner, and she made one bold move that can help anyone be successful in their job.

Advertising

“One day while at a conference, I bumped into Russel Simmons,” Warner said. “I knew this was my opportunity, so I pitched myself to him and told him I wanted to volunteer to work for him in exchange for an opportunity to learn from him. He gave me his fax number, when faxes were in vogue, and for 30 days straight, I faxed him my resume.” It worked. She eventually began working for Simmons as a volunteer and gained valuable experience that led to her starting her own business.

Did you happen to catch what Warner did that helped her to succeed? She volunteered. She discovered that you have to give first in order to get. One of my favorite quotes is by Zig Ziglar, which says, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” When you help others succeed by volunteering to help them, you will be remembered by them. After Warner helped Simmons for free, wouldn’t you know that he became her very first client? How can this help you in your career? Who could you help? What could you volunteer to do?

Action Item: Identify who you can help in your job. Research what they need help with. Make a list of how you can add value. Do it. Rinse and repeat. Remember, it can be as simple as forwarding an article that interests them, saying thank you, or congratulating them on a job well done.

Advertising

 

 

 

Featured photo credit: Steve Wilson via flickr.com

More by this author

meiko patton

Founder - Never Ever Give Up

How to leverage your pain as a servant In Order To Achieve Lasting Success: 10 Tips To Become An Attractive Person 7 Scientifically Proven Ways To Increase Your Influence The Best Way Federal Employees Can Spend Their Extra 4 Hours off on Xmas Eve A Bucket, a Dipper, and You: 5 Strategies for Managers and Supervisors

Trending in Communication

1 Take Back Your Personal Power (Part 1) 2 Take Back Your Personal Power (Part 2) 3 When You Start to Let Go of Your Past, These 10 Things Will Happen 4 How to Learn to Let Go of What You Can’t Control 5 10 Simple Steps to Let Go of the Past

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

Advertising

At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

Advertising

1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

Advertising

How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Read Next