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10 Reasons to Love a Friend Who Always Speaks Their Mind

10 Reasons to Love a Friend Who Always Speaks Their Mind

It seems like we all have one. That friend who says what she’s thinking, no matter where you are or who might be listening.

Blunt friends can wear you out. But they’re also kind of awesome.

Here are 10 reasons to show your straight-talking friends some love.

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1. They say what you wish you could say.

Honesty is messy business, but somebody’s got to do it. It’s handy to have a friend who will say what everyone’s thinking. It allows you to feel heard and validated without ever opening your mouth.

2. They don’t worship what people think about them.

People pleasing friends will turn their backs on you when that’s what it takes to fit in. But an authentic friend who speaks his mind is used to bucking trends. He’ll stick by you when fair weather friends have wandered off.

3. They’re more normal than you think.

It’s easy to label blunt friends as “rude” or “uncultured,” but there’s another lens to look through. They’re honest. They’re authentic. And that’s not weird; it’s just different. In a world of posers and followers, friends who speak their mind stand out. Instead of trying to change our friends, sometimes we need to imitate them by being more honest and authentic ourselves.

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4. Their compliments mean more because you know they’re real.

Some “friends” are nice to your face and brutal behind your back. Nothing they say really matters because you never know if it’s truthful. But a friend who speaks her mind? Well that’s an opinion you can count on. She doesn’t pass out idle compliments. She says what she means, which makes her meaning mean more.

5. They point out your blind spots.

Casual friends will cheer you on, even when you’re making a terrible mistake. We need brave, honest friends who are willing to give us their perspective and sometimes to challenge our thinking. Trying to succeed at life without an honest friend is like trying to skydive without a parachute. Bad idea.

6. They want what’s best for you.

Just because your friend gives honest feedback doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. He’s just trying to help the best way he knows how. Remembering that can help you discover the value in what he has to say, instead of getting hung up on the way he says it.

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7. They’re passionate about doing what’s right.

Straight-talkers are driven by conviction. They believe in saying what needs to be said, even when it’s not popular. This earnest way of life can be a sign of wonderful qualities, such as bravery, commitment, and an appetite for healthy change.

8. They’re not afraid to get a taste of their own medicine.

Friends who speak their mind are sometimes considered rude, but honest conversation is a two-way street. You have the opportunity to be real with them, just like they’re real with you. So speak up! Let them know what you really think.

9. They’re the type of people who change the world.

Cultures have been changed time and again by courageous people who aren’t afraid to share their thoughts. Sometimes, you’ll wish your friend would just keep his mouth shut. But instead of trying to reinvent his personality, give him feedback on how to share his opinions more respectfully. This will make your life more enjoyable, and it will help prepare your friend for a day when his honesty could have a big impact.

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10. They’re hard to find.

Guys and gals who speak their minds are a rare breed. Most of us just smile and nod. If you happen to be friends with one of these special people, consider yourself lucky. And let them know how much you value their friendship.

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Kyle Young

Operations Manager, GoinsWriter

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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