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10 Reasons to Love a Friend Who Always Speaks Their Mind

10 Reasons to Love a Friend Who Always Speaks Their Mind

It seems like we all have one. That friend who says what she’s thinking, no matter where you are or who might be listening.

Blunt friends can wear you out. But they’re also kind of awesome.

Here are 10 reasons to show your straight-talking friends some love.

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1. They say what you wish you could say.

Honesty is messy business, but somebody’s got to do it. It’s handy to have a friend who will say what everyone’s thinking. It allows you to feel heard and validated without ever opening your mouth.

2. They don’t worship what people think about them.

People pleasing friends will turn their backs on you when that’s what it takes to fit in. But an authentic friend who speaks his mind is used to bucking trends. He’ll stick by you when fair weather friends have wandered off.

3. They’re more normal than you think.

It’s easy to label blunt friends as “rude” or “uncultured,” but there’s another lens to look through. They’re honest. They’re authentic. And that’s not weird; it’s just different. In a world of posers and followers, friends who speak their mind stand out. Instead of trying to change our friends, sometimes we need to imitate them by being more honest and authentic ourselves.

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4. Their compliments mean more because you know they’re real.

Some “friends” are nice to your face and brutal behind your back. Nothing they say really matters because you never know if it’s truthful. But a friend who speaks her mind? Well that’s an opinion you can count on. She doesn’t pass out idle compliments. She says what she means, which makes her meaning mean more.

5. They point out your blind spots.

Casual friends will cheer you on, even when you’re making a terrible mistake. We need brave, honest friends who are willing to give us their perspective and sometimes to challenge our thinking. Trying to succeed at life without an honest friend is like trying to skydive without a parachute. Bad idea.

6. They want what’s best for you.

Just because your friend gives honest feedback doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. He’s just trying to help the best way he knows how. Remembering that can help you discover the value in what he has to say, instead of getting hung up on the way he says it.

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7. They’re passionate about doing what’s right.

Straight-talkers are driven by conviction. They believe in saying what needs to be said, even when it’s not popular. This earnest way of life can be a sign of wonderful qualities, such as bravery, commitment, and an appetite for healthy change.

8. They’re not afraid to get a taste of their own medicine.

Friends who speak their mind are sometimes considered rude, but honest conversation is a two-way street. You have the opportunity to be real with them, just like they’re real with you. So speak up! Let them know what you really think.

9. They’re the type of people who change the world.

Cultures have been changed time and again by courageous people who aren’t afraid to share their thoughts. Sometimes, you’ll wish your friend would just keep his mouth shut. But instead of trying to reinvent his personality, give him feedback on how to share his opinions more respectfully. This will make your life more enjoyable, and it will help prepare your friend for a day when his honesty could have a big impact.

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10. They’re hard to find.

Guys and gals who speak their minds are a rare breed. Most of us just smile and nod. If you happen to be friends with one of these special people, consider yourself lucky. And let them know how much you value their friendship.

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Kyle Young

Operations Manager, GoinsWriter

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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