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10 Reasons to Love a Friend Who Always Speaks Their Mind

10 Reasons to Love a Friend Who Always Speaks Their Mind

It seems like we all have one. That friend who says what she’s thinking, no matter where you are or who might be listening.

Blunt friends can wear you out. But they’re also kind of awesome.

Here are 10 reasons to show your straight-talking friends some love.

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1. They say what you wish you could say.

Honesty is messy business, but somebody’s got to do it. It’s handy to have a friend who will say what everyone’s thinking. It allows you to feel heard and validated without ever opening your mouth.

2. They don’t worship what people think about them.

People pleasing friends will turn their backs on you when that’s what it takes to fit in. But an authentic friend who speaks his mind is used to bucking trends. He’ll stick by you when fair weather friends have wandered off.

3. They’re more normal than you think.

It’s easy to label blunt friends as “rude” or “uncultured,” but there’s another lens to look through. They’re honest. They’re authentic. And that’s not weird; it’s just different. In a world of posers and followers, friends who speak their mind stand out. Instead of trying to change our friends, sometimes we need to imitate them by being more honest and authentic ourselves.

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4. Their compliments mean more because you know they’re real.

Some “friends” are nice to your face and brutal behind your back. Nothing they say really matters because you never know if it’s truthful. But a friend who speaks her mind? Well that’s an opinion you can count on. She doesn’t pass out idle compliments. She says what she means, which makes her meaning mean more.

5. They point out your blind spots.

Casual friends will cheer you on, even when you’re making a terrible mistake. We need brave, honest friends who are willing to give us their perspective and sometimes to challenge our thinking. Trying to succeed at life without an honest friend is like trying to skydive without a parachute. Bad idea.

6. They want what’s best for you.

Just because your friend gives honest feedback doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. He’s just trying to help the best way he knows how. Remembering that can help you discover the value in what he has to say, instead of getting hung up on the way he says it.

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7. They’re passionate about doing what’s right.

Straight-talkers are driven by conviction. They believe in saying what needs to be said, even when it’s not popular. This earnest way of life can be a sign of wonderful qualities, such as bravery, commitment, and an appetite for healthy change.

8. They’re not afraid to get a taste of their own medicine.

Friends who speak their mind are sometimes considered rude, but honest conversation is a two-way street. You have the opportunity to be real with them, just like they’re real with you. So speak up! Let them know what you really think.

9. They’re the type of people who change the world.

Cultures have been changed time and again by courageous people who aren’t afraid to share their thoughts. Sometimes, you’ll wish your friend would just keep his mouth shut. But instead of trying to reinvent his personality, give him feedback on how to share his opinions more respectfully. This will make your life more enjoyable, and it will help prepare your friend for a day when his honesty could have a big impact.

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10. They’re hard to find.

Guys and gals who speak their minds are a rare breed. Most of us just smile and nod. If you happen to be friends with one of these special people, consider yourself lucky. And let them know how much you value their friendship.

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Kyle Young

Operations Manager, GoinsWriter

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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