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10 Life Lessons you Will Only Understand After Failing

10 Life Lessons you Will Only Understand After Failing

One thing that we all need to learn from a young age, is how overrated failing actually is. It’s a big problem for many of us to fail and can seemingly be life changing. However, failure is a key part of developing as a person and will usually require you to go through a suitably challenging experience to get to the stage where you really start to feel the price of failure hitting you.

If you want to keep yourself on the straight and narrow and learn about life, consider the following lessons that only become clear after you’ve failed;

Failing Isn’t THAT Bad

The first lesson that you will learn that failing really isn’t that big of a deal. Sure, it will hurt on the day but you can quickly get over failure and bounce back. It’s all about being able to get into the mindset that failure isn’t that big a deal. You can always pass again in the future, and you will know what mistakes you made. Passing when you had no real right to is far less beneficial to you than failing when you were supposed to – it’ll help you learn more and prepare even better.

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Admit Your Failures

A key life lesson is being able to hold up those hands and admit that you got it wrong. It’s hard to do and many of us aren’t willing to it, but being able to do so is a vital part of becoming a more rounded, engaging person.

You Need To Change, Not The World

Many of us will blame everything else around us that we possibly can for our own failures; the reality is, though, that your failures are caused by yourself and yourself only! You need to be prepared to make serious changes to succeed.

Chase The Dream

The worst thing that you can do is get used to the idea that failure = boredom and mediocrity. Failure should work as the ground floor for your ambitions to take off and have you chasing after the things in life that you seek and desire most.

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Nobody Knows Everything

You might know a few people who claim they do, but nobody on this planet is an expert at everything. What you failed at might just not be for you – there’s no shame in that. Get used to failure and not being the genius, it’s very common!

Learn From Those Mistakes

The main lesson you will learn from failing, though, is that you will need to learn from those mistakes to go again and be a success in another part of the world or at something else entirely. With our help, you can easily forge the kind of path that you need to start today; you just need to be willing to show a bit of humility and accept that you need to learn from your previous mistakes.

Time Is Gold

You will soon learn that running around helping CEO A and MD B isn’t worth your time. If you want to be noticed in this world you need to do it through taking action. Treat your team as a rare commodity that nobody else should have a demand over; time is precious, and is your biggest asset.

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Push The Boundaries

Many of us think we are trying but in reality we are just getting started. To make sure you can push yourself though you need to taste the bruising feeling of defeat first and foremost to understand just what we need to do when we want to succeed.

Never Shut Up

Failure comes from being meek and not being clinical with what you think and what you want to tell people. To get over this problem you need to speak your mind, be forceful, and never let anyone else set the agenda for you. Take the time that you need to learn how to assert yourself; it’s only possible through seeing your meekness cause you various problems.

Enjoy The Ride!

The last thing you need to do in this world is inhibit yourself. Enjoy the ride that you are on regardless; this is something that failure will teach you moving forward, making your life much more comfortable. 

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Featured photo credit: http://www.thequotepedia.com via thequotepedia.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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