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Here’s What You Need To Know About Making Friends At Work

Here’s What You Need To Know About Making Friends At Work

Is making friends at work a good idea? There are those who will tell you that you should keep work and friendship separate. But the statistics from the Gallup Organization tell us that if you have friends at work, then you are much more likely to be engaged, committed, and successful. Given that the average American is going to spend 122,400 hours in the workplace, it is sensible to make the most of it. So, here are 9 ideas to help you make the right friendships at work.

1. Take your time and look around you

If you are new to the job, you will need time to figure out the following about office politics. Who and what factions are involved? Who are the slackers? Who are the bullies? Who are the overly ambitious ? Here is some advice – be helpful and collaborative. This will go a long way to not only getting promoted but also finding wonderful friends.

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2. Shyness could be your best ally

Lots of people are shy and they think that this is a disadvantage. In many cases, it could be your best ally because if you are a good listener, this is a great way to attract friends. The fast-talkers and chatterboxes are not nearly as popular as they think!

3. Make connections

It is normal to gravitate towards people who share the same interests and passions. The best trick is to be proactive and ask people about:

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  • How they spend time outside the office
  • What are their interests
  • Where they live
  • What transportation they use

Once you find a common interest or passion, invite them to share that with you. Instead of saying, ‘Hey, we should get together sometime and do X,’ why not show that you are genuinely interested in getting to know that person. Say something like, ‘Why don’t we get together this weekend to do X?’

4. Invite people

Let’s imagine that your networking efforts have not produced any great results. This is when you invite all the people in your section to go out for a coffee or to have lunch. Don’t worry when only a handful will accept. That will be your shortlist! It is dead simple. It is much better to invite everybody initially so that no one is hurt or feels excluded.   

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5. Move forward

You are still in an exploratory phase. As you get to know the new friend, here is a useful checklist to bear in mind:

  • Ensure that any personal stuff you might share is not going to be reported back to the whole office. You can find out fairly quickly because somebody is bound to mention it. If that is the case, withdraw.
  • Office politics should not dominate early conversations. If they do, that is a sign that you could be used as a pawn in a power struggle.
  • Explore your own personal situations so you can develop and build on what you have in common.

6. Stay positive

If you are negative, grumpy, and unapproachable, nobody is going to bother to get to know you. What is in it for them? If you project a positive attitude, remain mostly cheerful, and are helpful, then this will help you enormously in your career. Everybody talks about team work and your appraisals and assessments will always reflect this. A person who is unfriendly and sulky is usually voted down as a team player.

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7. Avoid these types

Many co-workers go on a crusade against management or other colleagues. It is usually somebody higher up than them in the hierarchy. You hear them complaining all the time. Then there are those who thrive on gossip and enjoy complaining about their colleagues. Just avoid them or nod, smile, and move on.

8. Don’t flaunt your new friends

If you do make a new friend, be careful that you are not creating an exclusive couple or group. Other colleagues may feel left out and uncomfortable if you and your friend are always together.

9. Be a friend in need…

Finally, if you spread good vibes and are a really good team player, a lot of the hard, initial work is already done. Never forget that you will need friends in the workplace because a boss may be a bully or because colleagues may be locked in bitter power struggles where prestige and promotion are the prizes. That’s when you need your friends in the workplace. Work on it!

Learn more about making friends.

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on April 8, 2020

9 Tips for Starting a New Job and Succeeding in Your Career

9 Tips for Starting a New Job and Succeeding in Your Career

Congratulations, you’re starting a new job! You’re feeling relieved that the interviews and the wait for a decision from the hiring manager is over, and you’ve finally signed the offer.

Feelings of fear and anticipation may surface now as you think about starting work on Monday. Or you may feel really confident if you have plenty of work experience.

Remember to not assume that your new work environment will be similar to previous ones. It’s very common for seasoned professionals to overestimate themselves due to the breadth of their experience.

Companies offer different depths of on-boarding experiences.[1] Ultimately, success in your career depends on you.

Below are 9 tips for starting a new job and succeeding in your career.

1. Your Work Starts Before Your First Day

When you prepared for your interview, you likely did some research about the company. Now it’s time to go more in depth.

  • How would your manager like you to prepare for your first day? What are his/her expectations?
  • What other information can your manager provide so that you can start learning more about the role or company?
  • What company policies or reports can you review that can get you acclimatized to your new job and work environment?

You’ll need to embrace a lot of new people and information when you start your new job. What you learn before your first day at work can help you feel more grounded and prepare your mind to process new information.

2. Know Your Role and the Organization

Review the job posting and know your responsibilities. Sometimes, job postings are simplified versions of the job description. Ask your manager or human resources if there is a detailed job description of your role.

Once you understand your key responsibilities and accountabilities, ask yourself:

  • What questions do you have about the role?
  • What information do you need to do your job effectively?
  • Who do you need to meet and start building relationships with?

Continue to increase your knowledge and do your research through the company Intranet site, organizational charts, the media, LinkedIn profiles, the industry and who your company competitors are.

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This is not a one time event. Continue to do this throughout your time with the company. Every team or project you engage with will evolve and change.

Keep current and be ready to adapt by using your observational skills to be aware of changes to your work environment and people’s behaviour.

3. Learn the Unwritten Rules at Work

Understanding your work culture is key to help you succeed in your career.

Many of these unwritten rules will not be listed on company policies. This means you’ll need to use all of your senses to observe the environment and the people within it.

What should you wear? See what your peers and leaders are wearing. Notice everything from their jewelry down to their shoes. Once you have a good idea of the dress code you can then infuse your own style.

What are your hours of work? What do you notice about start, break and end times? Are your observations different from what you learned at the interview? What questions do you have based on your observations? Asking for clarity will help you make informed decisions and thrive in a new work setting.

What are the main communication channels?[2] What communication mediums do people use (phone, email, in-person, video)? Does the medium change in different work situations? What is your manager’s communication style and preference? These observations will help you better navigate your work environment and thrive in the workplace.

4. Be Mindful of Your Assumptions

You got the job, you’re feeling confident and are eager to show how you can contribute. Check the type of language you are using when you’re approaching your work and sharing your experiences.

I’ve heard many new employees say:

  • “I used to do this at ‘X’ company …”
  • “When I worked at “X” company we implemented this really effective process …”
  • “We did this at my other company … how come you guys are not …”
  • “Why are you doing that … we used to do this …”

People usually don’t want to hear about your past company. The experiences that you had in the past are different in this new environment.

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Remember to:

  • Notice your assumptions
  • Focus on your own work
  • Ask questions, and
  • Learn more about the situation before offering suggestions.

You can then better position yourself as a trusted resource that makes informed decisions tailored to business needs.

5. Ask Questions and Seek Clarification

Contrary to common belief, asking questions when you’re starting a new job is not a vulnerability.

Asking relevant questions related to your job and the company:

  • Helps you clarify expectations
  • Shows that you’ve done your research
  • Demonstrates your initiative to learn

Seeking to clarify and understand your environment and the people within it will help you become more effective at your job.

6. Set Clear Expectations to Develop Your Personal Brand

Starting a new job is the perfect time to set clear expectations with your manager and colleagues. Your actions and behaviors at work tells others about your work style and how you like to operate. So it’s essential to get clear on what feels natural to you at work and ensure that your own values are aligned with your work actions.

Here are a few questions to reflect on so that you can clearly articulate your intentions and follow through with consistent actions:

Where do you need to set expectations? Reflect on lessons learned from your previous work experiences. What types of expectations do you need to set so that you can succeed?

Why are you setting these expectations? You’ll likely need to provide context and justify why you’re setting these boundaries. Are your expectations reasonable? What are the impacts on the business?

What are your values? If you value work life balance, but you’re answering emails on weekends and during your vacation time, people will continue to expect this from you. What boundaries do you need to set for yourself at work?

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What do you want to be known for? This question requires some deep reflection. Do you want to be known as a leader who develops and empowers others? Maybe you want to be known for someone who creates an environment of respect where everyone can openly share ideas. Or maybe you want to be someone who challenges people to get outside their comfort zones?

7. Manage Up, Down, and Across

Understanding the work styles of those around you is key to a successful career. Particularly how you communicate and interact with your immediate manager.

Here are a few key questions to consider:

  • How can you make your manager’s job easier?
  • What can you do to anticipate her/his needs?
  • How can you keep them informed (and prepared) so they don’t get caught off-guard?
  • What are your strengths? How can you communicate these to him/her so that they fully understand your capabilities?

These questions can also apply if you manage a team or if you deal with multiple stakeholders.

8. Build Relationships Throughout the Company

It’s important to keep learning from diverse groups and individuals within the company. You’ll get different perspectives about the organization and others may be able to help you succeed in your role.

What types of relationships do you need to build? Why are you building this relationship?

Here are some examples of workplace relationships:

  • Immediate Manager. He/she controls your work assignments. The work can shape the success of your career.
  • Mentors. These are people who are knowledgeable about their field and the company. They are willing to share their experiences with you to help you navigate the workplace and even your career.
  • Direct Reports. Your staff can influence how successful you are at meeting your goals.
  • Mentees. They are another resource to help you keep informed about the organization and your opportunity to develop others.

Other workplace relationships include team members, stakeholders, or strategic partners/sponsors that will advocate for your work.

Learn more in this article: 10 Ways to Build Positive And Effective Work Relationships

9. Keep in Touch With Those in Your Existing Network

“Success isn’t about how much money you make; it’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.” – Michelle Obama

You are part of an ecosystem that has gotten you to where you are today. Every single person and each moment that you have encountered with someone has shaped who you are – both positive and negative.

Here’s How to Network So You’ll Get Way Ahead in Your Professional Life.

Make sure you continue to nurture the relationships that you value and show gratitude to those who have helped you achieve your goals.

Summing It Up

There are many aspects of your career that you are in control of. Observe, listen, and make informed decisions. Career success depends on your actions.

Remember to not assume that your new work environment will be similar to previous ones.

Here are the 9 tips for starting a new job and succeeding in your career:

  1. Your Work Starts Before Your 1st Day
  2. Know Your Role and the Organization
  3. Learn the Unwritten Rules at Work
  4. Be Mindful of Your Assumptions
  5. Ask Questions and Seek Clarification
  6. Set Clear Expectations to Develop Your Personal Brand
  7. Manage Up, Down, and Across
  8. Build Relationships Throughout the Company
  9. Keep in Touch With Those in Your Existing Network

Celebrate, enjoy your new role, and take good care of yourself!

More Tips About Succeeding in Career

Featured photo credit: Frank Romero via unsplash.com

Reference

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