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Here’s What You Need To Know About Making Friends At Work

Here’s What You Need To Know About Making Friends At Work

Is making friends at work a good idea? There are those who will tell you that you should keep work and friendship separate. But the statistics from the Gallup Organization tell us that if you have friends at work, then you are much more likely to be engaged, committed, and successful. Given that the average American is going to spend 122,400 hours in the workplace, it is sensible to make the most of it. So, here are 9 ideas to help you make the right friendships at work.

1. Take your time and look around you

If you are new to the job, you will need time to figure out the following about office politics. Who and what factions are involved? Who are the slackers? Who are the bullies? Who are the overly ambitious ? Here is some advice – be helpful and collaborative. This will go a long way to not only getting promoted but also finding wonderful friends.

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2. Shyness could be your best ally

Lots of people are shy and they think that this is a disadvantage. In many cases, it could be your best ally because if you are a good listener, this is a great way to attract friends. The fast-talkers and chatterboxes are not nearly as popular as they think!

3. Make connections

It is normal to gravitate towards people who share the same interests and passions. The best trick is to be proactive and ask people about:

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  • How they spend time outside the office
  • What are their interests
  • Where they live
  • What transportation they use

Once you find a common interest or passion, invite them to share that with you. Instead of saying, ‘Hey, we should get together sometime and do X,’ why not show that you are genuinely interested in getting to know that person. Say something like, ‘Why don’t we get together this weekend to do X?’

4. Invite people

Let’s imagine that your networking efforts have not produced any great results. This is when you invite all the people in your section to go out for a coffee or to have lunch. Don’t worry when only a handful will accept. That will be your shortlist! It is dead simple. It is much better to invite everybody initially so that no one is hurt or feels excluded.   

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5. Move forward

You are still in an exploratory phase. As you get to know the new friend, here is a useful checklist to bear in mind:

  • Ensure that any personal stuff you might share is not going to be reported back to the whole office. You can find out fairly quickly because somebody is bound to mention it. If that is the case, withdraw.
  • Office politics should not dominate early conversations. If they do, that is a sign that you could be used as a pawn in a power struggle.
  • Explore your own personal situations so you can develop and build on what you have in common.

6. Stay positive

If you are negative, grumpy, and unapproachable, nobody is going to bother to get to know you. What is in it for them? If you project a positive attitude, remain mostly cheerful, and are helpful, then this will help you enormously in your career. Everybody talks about team work and your appraisals and assessments will always reflect this. A person who is unfriendly and sulky is usually voted down as a team player.

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7. Avoid these types

Many co-workers go on a crusade against management or other colleagues. It is usually somebody higher up than them in the hierarchy. You hear them complaining all the time. Then there are those who thrive on gossip and enjoy complaining about their colleagues. Just avoid them or nod, smile, and move on.

8. Don’t flaunt your new friends

If you do make a new friend, be careful that you are not creating an exclusive couple or group. Other colleagues may feel left out and uncomfortable if you and your friend are always together.

9. Be a friend in need…

Finally, if you spread good vibes and are a really good team player, a lot of the hard, initial work is already done. Never forget that you will need friends in the workplace because a boss may be a bully or because colleagues may be locked in bitter power struggles where prestige and promotion are the prizes. That’s when you need your friends in the workplace. Work on it!

Learn more about making friends.

More by this author

Robert Locke

Freelance writer

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Last Updated on August 20, 2018

Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What

Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What

Do you know that feeling? The one where you have to wake up to go to your boring 9-5 job to work with the same boring colleagues who don’t appreciate what you do.

I do, and that’s why I’ve decided to quit my job and follow my passion. This, however, requires a solid plan and some guts.

The one who perseveres doesn’t always win. Sometimes life has more to offer when you quit your current job. Yes, I know. It’s overwhelming and scary.

People who quit are often seen as ‘losers’. They say: “You should finish what you’ve started”.

I know like no other that quitting your job can be very stressful. A dozen questions come up when you’re thinking about quitting your job, most starting with: What if?

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“What if I don’t find a job I love and regret quitting my current job?”
“What if I can’t find another job and I get in debt because I can’t pay my bills?”
“What if my family and friends judge me and disapprove of the decisions I make?”
“What if I quit my job to pursue my dream, but I fail?

After all, if you admit to the truth of your surroundings, you’re forced to acknowledge that you’ve made a wrong decision by choosing your current job. But don’t forget that quitting certain things in life can be the path to your success!

One of my favorite quotes by Henry Ford:

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

Everything takes energy

Everything you do in life takes energy. It takes energy to participate in your weekly activities. It takes energy to commute to work every day. It takes energy to organize your sister’s big wedding.

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Each of the responsibilities we have take a little bit of our energy. We only have a certain amount of energy a day, so we have to spend it wisely.  Same goes for our time. The only things we can’t buy in this world are time and energy. Yes, you could buy an energy drink, but will it feel the same as eight hours of sleep? Will it be as healthy?

The more stress there is in your life, the less focus you have. This will weaken your results.

Find something that is worth doing

Do you have to quit every time the going gets touch? Absolutely not! You should quit when you’ve put everything you’ve got into something, but don’t see a bright future in it.

When you do something you love and that has purpose in your life, you should push through and give everything you have.

I find star athletes very inspiring. They don’t quit till they step on that stage to receive their hard earned gold medal. From the start, they know how much work its going to take and what they have to sacrifice.

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When you do something you’re really passionate about, you’re not in a downward spiral. Before you even start you can already see the finish line. The more focus you have for something, the faster you’ll reach the finish.

It is definitely possible to spend your valuable time on something you love and earn money doing it. You just have to find out how — by doing enough research.

Other excuses I often hear are:

“But I have my wife and kids, who is going to pay the bills?”
“I don’t have time for that, I’m too busy with… stuff” (Like watching TV for 2 hours every day.)
“At least I get the same paycheck every month if I work for a boss.”
“Quitting my job is too much risk with this crisis.”

I understand those points. But if you’ve never tried it, you’ll never know how it could be. The fear of failure keeps people from stepping out of their comfort zone.

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I’ve heard many people say, “I work to let my children make their dream come true”. I think they should rephrase that sentence to: “I pursue my dreams — to inspire and show my children anything is possible.” 

Conclusion

Think carefully about what you spend your time on. Don’t waste it on things that don’t brighten your future. Instead, search for opportunities. And come up with a solid plan before you take any impulsive actions.

Only good things happen outside of your comfort zone.

Do you dare to quit your job for more success in life?

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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